Home: Ask a Love Psychic
James, ext. 7058
From an early age James has been aware of the energy and feelings of others, the first aspect of being an intuitive. The powers were so strong it prompted him to be of service to others. Through 33 years of practice and professional study he has the ability to guide people through the paths of their lives, the ups and downs, the realistic issues, surrounding relationships and love, career, money and spirituality. His techniques include clairvoyance, tarot, astrology and Native American totems and animal guides. He looks forward to speaking to you soon so that you may begin your path to insight.
Love Questions: Posted May 20th, 2013
I met this younger girl by the name of Missy. I like her a lot but I think she is living with somebody. I think this person she is with is very controlling and they get into fights. Is she involved with drugs? Will they break up? I like her but not sure this is the one for me. Please let me know what the future holds. -Bob
What the future holds according to present circumstances is a giant leap into reality. You should be very sure or aware of the consequences of a relationship with an individual who really needs a knight in shining armor. I understand that you want to be there for her and show your affection, but she is in a committed relationship, no matter what the condition. Also remember she's an adult and she makes her own decisions. The mixture of drugs and fights never turn out well; right now you and she have opened up to each other and that really feels good, but please do not confuse this with romantic love, it's not. You do care for each other very much, however, I feel you must allow her to take care of her own problems. Be a support system for her but that’s it for now. The romantic situation that you envision will not occur under present conditions. I feel strongly that by this time next year circumstances will be different and you will have your chance to pursue a more enjoyable relationship with her.
I've been writing on internet to a guy and he and I have professed our love for each other. He tells me that he wants us to be together when he comes back to the states for good. He is pretty highly ranked. He says things and I’ve believed him, he's a Taurus and I just need to know is it all for real with him and will we be together forever like we planned? I really do love him and can't quit thinking about him. Please tell me some good news for a change. -LaWanda
I do feel strongly that he is honest with you, however, just like you he has not really opened up yet. Going through with your plans together may be a bit more difficult then he is admitting at this point. Where you and he are in this perspective relationship is really where you and he are supposed to be; eighty percent (if not more) of your perceptions of each other will be made when you meet face to face. I would suggest that when you first meet, you and he meet in an active environment (active restaurant, concert, or maybe a family occasion if you feel comfortable with that) you and he will establish your comfort level in this sort of atmosphere very quickly. Your perceptions are very accurate, however, it is very easy to touch your heart.
It's been a month since me and my now ex have been broken up. He just ended everything out of nowhere and I am beyond confused and very hurt. Can you please give me a better understanding of why he ended things and how he is feeling? And also, if we are going to get back together? -Alyssa
If you are looking at this situation from your own perspective (what else can you do right now) you would be misinformed, the primary reason is not within your knowledge right now. This man cares for you a lot more then you realize and will definitely attempt to contact you; right now he is not sure if you are sad, however, he knows you are angry. He is not real sure about anything else right now. He does not have a plan of action right now. Our past always plays a great role in our life and one way or another we must deal with things that we put off, and this is all I perceive. Please do not feel that he is going through an unresolvable crisis; he is not. You will be informed by him very soon. This man knows that you will not wait forever and he waits to long to contact you, your heart will no longer except him.
Love Questions: Posted May 13th, 2013
I have been in love with someone for over 20 years. At one point he said he cared this way for me as well, but then life happened and we were apart. He was with someone else and I was with someone, but I have always secretly longed to be with him. I want to know if it is possible that he may feel the same way about me still?
-Diana
The feelings between you and him are deep and extremely romantic. I feel you hold each other in a very special way. You and he have established a spiritual bonding with each other; you will always remember each other as a wonderful part of the past. You will have an opportunity to meet and talk and you and he also he will be happy and positive about the meeting, but that’s all. You both have moved on in life but will always care about each other and hope for the best for each other. As far as getting back together and trying things again; I feel neither one of you feel that way.
I'm looking to know if me and this guy have true love with each other. Is he the guy that direct messages me on FB under a different name or is it a relative of his? Are we going to end up in a life-long relationship? He really captivates me. Or maybe im going crazy or something! -Nikki
Yes I do feel strongly that he does have a direct connection to the messages (either himself or a friend); you interest in each other is mutual, and I defiantly feel this perspective relationship has a lot of potential. I do not perceive any barriers except the obviously the distance, and if that is not an overwhelming problem, there should be no problem in you and he becoming close friends. The only thing that can interfere with the progress is any type of jealousy, possessiveness or control. In other words; if you and he are secure with yourselves, I do see a lot of possibilities. The next four months will be extremely important.
I've met someone of whom I felt an instant connection; the kind you hear about, but don't believe happen. He feels the same way too. We know and understand things about each other without ever having to say a word. I've never experienced this before and neither has he. Suddenly he has pulled back and I'm hurt and confused. I really feel a connection and so does he. He's a Cancer by the way. He keeps saying he's not shutting me out, and I hope he's not, I just need to know if I'm spinning my wheels waiting for him to decide if he really wants me in his life. I feel like he's afraid of the connection he feels. He said he gets too emotionally attached, which made me laugh because I'm a Pisces; emotionally attached to everything! My heart is breaking! What do I need to do to prevent him from running, when I know in my soul, he is the one I'm suppose to be with? Please guide me to do what's best for us. -Adrienne
Cancer behavior is the most difficult of all the sings to figure out, but you being a Pisces woman, you only need to look within yourself to find this answer. He is not shutting you out, he is only being himself; some people like their privacy and enjoy being and spending time alone just as for no obvious reason he will want to be very active and gregarious, for no particular reason you are exactly the same way but no so often. Rather then analyzing each others behavior (which can go on and on) I advise you and he to create what you want, but base it on enjoyable experiences with each other; you and this man have so much in common that if you and he are available to each other, you will establish a common view of the future very quickly and with minimal effort. At this point have fun and the future will design itself. I would be extremely surprised if it did not work out, successfully.
Love Questions: Posted May 6th, 2013
Will me and my husband get back together soon and will he fall in love with me again? -Kesha
It is not probable, however, the opportunity will arrive. In the very beginning you and he took the time and interest in each other and the affection grew to the point of both of you seeing that you could achieve more of what you want out of life easier as a couple then individually; and this process is termed; establishing a common view or image of the future. You and he did the right thing, no matter how things turned out. Establishing a committed relationship is a bit more difficult and the process itself takes effort and desire. In the beginning, it's easy, enjoyable, and natural, as we continue our path in life, these things are possible but take more effort to achieve, but it is the power and feeling of positive love that guides a couple through this process. This man will always love you, as you will always love him. You and he have become disillusioned with each other and lost the desire to maintain the common image that created your relationship in the first place. In my opinion, as a couple you and he both have moved on and become more defined as individuals, the interest must be reestablished, you and he both found that you can survive, and flourish with out an active relationship. The common image of the future must also be reestablished and I feel you and he just do not want to try hard enough or give enough effort to the process. When love is involved anything is possible but that does not mean it will be easy. You will only have one opportunity to try again and this will occur around the end of summer.
There is this girl that I am truly in love with and want to be in a relationship with, however, she just wants to be friends right now. We consider each other to be the others best friend. I feel like she has feelings for me too but she has a lot on her plate now and is just too busy to get into a relationship now. Do you see that as a possibility and do you think that we will get in a relationship in the future? We talk on the phone almost every day and hang out at least once or twice every week. I feel like there is a possibility for a relationship but I'm not sure. What do you think? -Matthew
A lot of friendships can be stronger than romantic relationships, however, I feel this friendship can evolve into something more. The process has already started and the reason I feel this so strongly about this is because she also has considered this possibility. Most women are raised being able to open up to other women, friends, relatives, sisters, etc. and in a vast majority of situations this lasts throughout life; men are not traditionally open in that way, the process has only recently started to change, in other words women are usually better at making friends then men. If your friendship is to evolve into something else, I feel it should occur sooner than later, you and she have already established a comfort level and have an excellent ability to communicate with each other, and I do feel that you should let her know how you feel towards her if you are comfortable doing this right now (she already is expecting this). She is being honest with you about how she views her current situation in life and I do see you both becoming closer. Keep in mind though, most friendships last a lot longer then most relationships these days.
I have been with my husband for 17 years. We have been married for four years. I am wondering if you see this relationship lasting and if you see it to be a healthy one. I have always wondered in the back of my mind if he has cheated on me and I need some closure. Will he ever do right by me? Will he ever get a stable job and be responsible? Or is it time for me to move on? If so, will I just be alone for the rest of my life? Or is there someone out there waiting for me? Also, I have been debating on making a move back home. Should I go or should I stay here with my husband? I am so confused. -Susan
I feel very strongly that you should have covered these issues before you and he entered a marriage; however, seventeen years is a testament to your love for each other. He is a good person and so are you. The slump or worries about cheating are baseless, I feel that he does not want to go in that direction. When the stresses of life creep up on us, as they do, it is the love for each other that pulls us through. My advise to you is to follow your heart; but give the marriage another chance, it is well worth your time. I can see that there will be a renewal of your affection, however, this will occur faster if you and he put some enjoyment and fun into your marriage. I also feel that you miss each others company. By the end of spring you and he will be back on track and deeply involved in a common situation or project; and this will bring you and he a lot of joy.
Love Questions: Posted April 29th, 2013
I met my boyfriend over a year ago and we fell madly in love. I have had relationships before but he is the first guy I see myself starting a life with and having kids. I feel we have drifted apart a bit. I have had a lot of stress as my mother has been ill. We live abroad at the moment together. Do you see us having a future and will we be happy? -Ciara
First of all, you have identified two different issues that are contributing to your feelings at this time and that is exactly what a positive Aquarius is all about. Where your relationship is concerned; I feel strongly that this man feels the same way towards you, however, I also feel that you and he both are very concise and observant of each other. I would advise you and he to create by activity; doing what brings you and him joy. The aspect of creation is activity. You and your mother will both be fine, only remember to resolve small details, that really do not seem like much right now, and I feel your path is assured because of each other.
I have had two men in my life. One of them just left for a woman that he had a relationship with and the other and I split almost a year ago. Who will be the next to come back as I have a strong feeling one of them will be returning to me. -Gail
The real issue is that both of these potential relationships did not manifest themselves into reality, or I should say evolve to your expectations. Within in the next four months you will find that you have feelings for a man who tends to see things as you see them and has the not only the desire but also the means to move forward. By this time "N" will be making an attempt to get close to you again. If you can not make choices, you will lose both. The man in your destiny will be present with out conditions or circumstances that would interfere with establishing a common view of the future.
I've known this guy for 3 years and we just decided to start a relationship together. Lately I've been feeling like he's been lying to me about a lot of things. I do feel like he is cheating on me. I love him so it is hard for me to leave him. He gets so upset at me when I ask him. I don't know if that means he's guilty or not but something's telling me he is. What should I do? -Lisa
Friendship is very different then a relationship; friendship often leads to committed situation and is necessary for a healthy long term relationship. I really do not feel that the trust has been established to the correct extent yet between you two. You may have moved too fast toward your image, which a lot of people and couples do. I do not feel he really has the desire, money, or time to cheat. There is some sort of barrier to the relationship, however, it is between you and he; I feel that within the next three months you and he will become closer to each other, or drift apart, it all depends on your and his ability to communicate effectively. This would not be difficult since you already see things in a similar way, or should I say you're very close.
Love Questions: Posted April 15th, 2013
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We were high school sweethearts and were married for two years right out of school. We divorced but remained friends. We really always loved each other but finally the timing was right to be together. Please tell me if we will marry and be happy. I feel we should have always been together. -Kathie
You and he have had a very wonderful start to your relationship, you evolved with each other and taken vows to a higher power and developed a common view of the future. I do feel strongly that the spiritual bonding that you and he have with each other is still present and very strong. You and he will have another chance at success as a committed couple even though he feels as disappointed as you do. I feel you both miss each other very much. The chance to once again enter a marriage will arrive, however, the reason that you and he had for the divorce must be resolved first; and my feeling is that the issue can be resolved successfully. It would take a lot more to destroy your love for each other. Within a year things will be back to normal.
The love of my life left me two months ago. We have been having some problems and he opted out. I still love him very much. Does he still love me? Will he come back? If so, when? -Les
Everyone feels like getting away from the stress of daily life, but not too many people can. Leaving you with so many questions is not coincidence; it is very intentional. I feel strongly that it is not you specifically that he is escaping from, or the relationship you and he were in. He started to plan and look to far into the future, to an extent that the path seemed overwhelming and unattainable. Believe me he would have no problem in being blunt and clear if the issue was you; I do not believe that he meant to be insenceitive or mean in any way, he meant to keep you waiting and wondering. He will make an appearance back into your life and attempt to explain. However, you are going to feel a bit different then you do now.
I met this guy 6 or 7 years ago and felt a connection with this guy. Somewhere around the middle of last year I started to think a lot about him. We did not part on bad terms. I started having dreams about him very often. I need insight. -Patricia
A lot of people believe that they have met a soul mate or an important person that they feel drawn to and that is a common symptom of attraction. However, in this case it is real. You and he shared a situation in the distant past where you needed to built up a trust between you two; I feel strongly this was something in the nature of brother and sister, teacher and student or husband and wife. The first expression of love is present, and that expression is concern. You and he will have an opportunity to discus this and find, with answers come three questions. Please let me know how things work out. I have a very good feeling about you two.
Love Questions: Posted April 8th, 2013
I've had readings before about my current relationship with Maria and I have not lost hope, although I should. Why is she so different? Is there a future for us? Will she be faithful to me or should I just find someone new and try to get over her? I feel bad with her and without her what is the true person? I get mad because I don't trust her, I feel she is always playing games and sometimes I feel it, or is it just my imagination? Help me with answers please, anything positive or negative. I need to know to move forward with or without her. Thank you. -Danny
You both have many issues to deal with before you can evolve as a couple; the most important is the trust issue. Once trust in a romantic relationship is gone or an emotional barrier to reality. She also is disappointed that these issues interfere with a positive relationship. I feel strongly that you and she can overcome obsticals that you both feel, you and she both, have given a long term committed relationship a lot of thought and that is a lot more then most people do. You can identify issues, so can she, and if you truly love each other you will work things out effectively with in the next two months. You and she both will find that it is a very easy thing to do if the desire is there. And it is.
I am in the process of recovering from an unsuccessful relationship which devastated me and my life terribly. I would like to know when I will meet my real man; the one who stays with me and loves me; the one who commits to me. Thank you so much. -Masoumeh
I understand the frustration and disappointment involved with a relationship that does not work; nobody wants to invest time and feelings in something that does not work out. The qualities that you have described regarding a man are present in a lot of men, however, these qualities are achieved to a great extent by shared experiences, bonding and time. It is an achieved situation you desire, it is never automatic. The opportunity to establish a deep friendship with a good man will approach you mid to end of summer. Even though he works inside, his heart and pastime hobby will be out doors; he plays the guitar and has invested in quality musical equipment, one piece, an acoustic guitar is the key to his heart. By the way, he does have two daughters and they are protective of their father but very, very nice people.
Does my husband Christopher still love me? There is a women who works with him that i wonder about. Is anything going on between the two of them? Thank you! -Halina
When things are going well for you and he, he feels great, and this increases his magnetism, in other words he acts and feels happy; and you see it is about you. I strongly feel that a lot of people like him because he tends to find easy solutions to complicated issues. He does enjoy the presence of a little jealousy; in reality you have no reason. If you express disappointment mildly in the situation you will achieve what you want, if you express anger or sadness things will evolve into an uncomfortable emotional barrier and I assure you he does not want that. He loves you a lot for many of different reasons and really likes being married most of the time. This will be a forgotten issue soon (two weeks). Please attend the concert that you and he were talking about (only you two), I advise you and he to make a night of it.
Love Questions: Posted April 1st, 2013
My boyfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago. He said he wasn't happy in our relationship. He was cheating on me and he said that he just didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, that he wanted to be single and "do his own thing". Since our break up, we have talked on the phone every day, and we see each other almost every day. He is still affectionate with me, intimate with me, and tells me he loves me. I know he talks to other women, and he is trying to "hook up" with some of them. I have had dates and talked to other men and he gets upset by it. On one hand I feel as though his wanting to be with other women is just a phase he's going through and I should wait for him to get over it. On the other hand, I feel like he's only playing with me, leading me on. I get mixed messages from him sometimes and I don't know if I should keep waiting for him, or if I should just let him go completely. How does he really feel about me? Will we ever be together again as a couple? And if so, will he be faithful to me? -Dawn
First and primary is the fact that this type of behavior is very dangerous and frivolous; many people are aware of this. I do feel that you and he do love each other but it is nowhere near to a realistic committed relationship. I do also feel he is trying to be honest with you about not wanting a unique relationship, benefits without obligation; it is really up to you where you want things to go. The situation you and he are in will not change if a person is in an acknowledged friendship you really do not have the right to ask personal questions. If a couple is in an acknowledged relationship it does give the situation to ask personal questions. Naturally, I do not see things changing, however, you will see an adult and thoughtful change if you make it happen. Give it a little over three months.
I have a crush on a boy who I was good friends with but there has been a strain in our friendship. I like him a lot, but he has a girlfriend. I was wondering, do you see the two of us ever being in a relationship one day? If so, will it be a deep, long lasting one? Is he my "soul mate"? -Cyndy
Some people develop a close friendship before a romantic relationship and this is common. I feel that he also feels very close to you; he is aware of your feelings but not the intenceity. There is a fine line between a close friendship between a man and a woman and a romantic relationship. I would advise you to not interfere with his relationship; conditions will be different in a very short time (six weeks), and you will have the right opportunity to open up about how you feel to him. We all need to remember that there is no guarantees where love is concerned, however, your chances with him are excellent.
I had an arranged marriage, we have been married for 9 years and have a son. Does my husband love me? How will be our future together? Will we have another child? -Sonia
He does love you, however, you should be able to feel this love and ask your self if you love him. I feel strongly that you and he need more positive activity in your marriage. Do more enjoyable activities with each other. The purpose of a religious or spiritual marriage is to bless the union and promote the success of the marriage. I do feel that you and he have this in you favor. As far as a child in your future; I do see that a child will play a great role in your life, and that you and he will be together a long time. Right now I would advise you and he to schedule a weekend honey moon at a place you both love. The colors of red and purple will play a wonderful part of the next three months.
Love Questions: Posted March 25th, 2013
I am in a relationship with Robert. When will our relationship become more committed and intimate? -Karen
You can look forward to a very exciting and romantic Spring. This man is enjoying this relationship very much, however, he is not only thinking about the things that bring him joy, he is a lot more concerned about you, how you feel, what you enjoy, and how you define a happy life. He defiantly sees potential. You and he are establishing a wonderful friendship, which all long-term relationships are based on. He does have long-term intentions where you are concerned and at this time he is savoring and enjoying every day with you. I do not feel there are any barriers to you and he evolving in this relationship, however, I would suggest that you do not rush any questions regarding a long-term situation right now, he will be the one to lead up to this subject; I feel you will be very surprised by how much you and he see the future in a similar way.
I met this guy on line the beginning of the week. We have started our relationship off as friends, which is great for both of us. He lives in another state. We both seem to be developing some kind of feelings for each other and we cannot explain it. I completely trust him, am I right to? Is this man my true love? -Mitzi
Many people meet on line, one advantage is that you can take the time to really get to know an individual. Trust is built up through the correct activities, actions and responses. I do not feel that he is deceiving you about his feelings, however, he may not be real open about his current situation in life; you need to take a lot more time. I advise you to let trust be gained, not established through words. The question about true love, only you can say. This summer (early summer) the subject of meeting up with each other will be entertained seriously, and your heart and intuition will tell you if the trust and understanding has been established enough to let you feel good and enthusiastic about the potential of meeting each other face to face. Remember to do things in a way in which you are secure.
I would like to know when would be the best time for me to begin another relationship. I have been in my current relationship for 6 years and the things I've been going through are a mess. I've been through a lot of cheating and lying. I know that Dwayne loves me but he is playing games. Those days have are over for me. I have feelings that I should have been out of this relationship and the next person that I'm in love with is right under my nose. -Shalitha
You will find the strength and motivation to move in the direction you desire very soon (within three months); I do feel the love and concern between you two, but that is not enough to make things work. It is impossible to evolve in a relationship where there is infidelity; it just does not work and it is very unsafe way to live. I do feel that you will succeed if you prepare; he will pursue you if you blame him. You will do alright. Reinforce your self with your prayers and meditation. Relationships are the creation of two, not the wish of one.
Love Questions: Posted March 18th, 2013
I've known a guy for 2 years now. When we first met I felt as if it was love at first sight. We have had so many ups and downs, mostly downs, and my concern is that we wont ever be able to patch things up. I love him dearly but I question if he feels the same. I am no longer trying to fully pursue a relationship with him but I would like him to help me out business wise. So my question is; will he be willing and able to help me with my career? Thanks for your time. -Natalie
My Feeling about this matter is that you and he will be able to be friends, the ups and downs that were involved in your relationship with each other, he blames mostly on himself. Where you are concerned personally, I feel disappointment is present, not in you personally but that your relationship failed. Right now an attempt to maintain a friendly professional relationship would not work, he would take this attempt as an insult. After a few months if conditions persist a friendship can be established; then I feel he would assist you but not before. Please remember all relationships have ups and downs; what matters is how you handle them.
I was engaged to a guy for almost a year. We dated for almost 3 years with a six month break then got back together. We love each other like crazy. He is a recovering alcoholic but got drunk one night and lied to me about it for 3 days. We do not live together. One of his employees told me about his drinking. I gave my ring back. After two weeks we agreed to try to work things out. His AA counselors and his church told him to take some time not be in a relationship so we broke up. He immediately started seeing someone else and has since moved her in with him after 6 weeks. He has been contacting me saying he made a mistake still loves me he will get it together but mean while she is still living there. I have had a terrible time coping with this. I still love him and would like to work it out. Do you think there is any chance for us to reconcile. -Tina
An individual in recovery is getting reacquainted with themselves. Their reactions and the way they interact with others; being involved in such a relationship roller-coster is counter productive to his efforts right now. He has a lot of work to do to maintain his sobriety and at this time his major need is friendship. This man has a genuine affection for you, however, his affection is undefined. I do feel you and he would profit from a bit of distance. A little space sometimes makes things clearer. You and he would not be able to evolve as a couple anyway while there is another woman involved. In three months circumstances will change and the change will make you very happy.
I'd like to know if I'll get back with an ex lover of mine or if I will meet somebody new and be happy? -Lynsey
My intuition tells me that you and your ex will give things a realistic effort and try to reestablish a relationship. As far as meeting people, it all depends on your desire. There will be a lot of important people around you this year; family and friends, and also your career situation is going to become very active. Making friends for you is a very natural thing. Your efforts to reunite with your ex boyfriend will depend on commonalities. You mean a lot more then you realize to him.
Love Questions: Posted March 11th, 2013
My ex boyfriend Mike and I broke up about 2 weeks ago. I am so hurt and lost without him. I want him back in my life. Is this going to happen for me? What do I need to do to win back his heart? -Jennifer
He also misses you; a good way to see or understand his feelings is to look honestly within yourself. You and he have shared all the same activities, the same discussions, events, ups and downs, kisses and hugs, in other words you feel the same. I do not see him as having all the answers or a plan of action, he is just very disappointed as you are. You will have a chance to reestablish your friendship but I do not see this occurring for at least five months. Right now he is defining his feelings and how life has been since he has met you, and people need to do this; you do realize this because you are doing the same thing.
I am recently separated from my wife of 5 years. This is due to her immature behavior and total lack of respect for me. I love her but I want to know if we still have a future. Can you help? -David
Yes; and I base this on the feeling of connection and disappointment that I feel emanating from each of you towards each other. The spiritual connection which was established a long time ago seems to be very strong and vivid still. The situation of losing each other and the union not working out is very sad and extremely disappointing to each of you. One of the most frequent inquiries I receive is this exact question; How do I repair or get back on track? She as you, knows that an individual can not go back and take care of issues from the past that has changed you life; but what you can do is re-establish the common image of the future that you once shared and designed so clearly. I do not feel that the separation will be permanent, however, the issues must be repaired so this can work. I do not see either one of you as being completely to blame for the separation, but it will take both of you equally to re-bond. You will be on your way within the next month, you both desire this to occur and yes, the chance will be there.
I'm so excited to have come across your site. I have been reading the answers you have been giving people and I think you are a very special person for helping people the way you are. My question is will the man I love come back to me? We have loved each other for many years and are both going through a divorce. Up until recently we were really opening up to each other and our intimacy was growing. He does have issues from his past that I know he is trying to work through. He told me he wishes this 'us' could of waited until he had his stuff together. He says he is tired of feeling confused and uncertain. He also says it's not about me either. Many psychics have told me to wait and that he is working on himself and will return to me this month and explain how he feels and maybe propose to me. It has been several months since we have talked. I'm leaving him alone and he is not trying to contact me. Should I continue to wait? Is any of this going to happen as I was told? Is he really taking this time to make things right for us? I am getting worried while waiting and I don't want to end up feeling stupid with a broken heart. -Mandi
You and this man have been in a very romantic situation and you have supported each other through difficult feelings. Because of your shared situation, you and he both can not see the future clearly. You have shared the stress of a divorce and have had each other to lean on and had someone to talk to about your situation. I feel that he is beginning to go through the repercussions of a divorce (children, financial ties or obligations, and family attitudes) and the emotional stress and anxiety involved. As soon as he is able to do so comfortably, he will contact you. I also feel that your divorces will go smoothly without to much drama. However, if your feelings for each other are out in the open, things will be tough. He would not be going through all these changes if he did not genuinely love you.
Love Questions: Posted March 4th, 2013
My partner Richard split up with me about 3 months ago after 8 years together. He's with someone else now although he has told me this new relationship of his wont last. We both thought we would be together forever and were very much in love and then suddenly he got very distant about a month before he ended the relationship. We have spoken occasionally since the break up but now he doesn't respond to me at all. I miss him being in my life so much and I can't understand how we went from being so close and such great friends to where we are now. Will we ever get back together? -Stuart
I feel his silence is because of guilt and really not being able to explain or pick out any reason for the break up. The relationship he is involved in presently was already in progress when you separated. I really do not feel that this was caused by any major problem or complaint about you. Many times in a broken relationship when an individual sees themselves as being to blame or causing the problem it is very difficult to find the defining words. He would know if you had a deeper or intense discussion one of your first questions would by why? He is avoiding this question because he realizes it would lead to more questions. I would not advise you to wait but he will make an attempt to enter your life again, but it will be you who will feel differently.
I've been in a long distance relationship for 2 years. We have been through a lot together and we love each other deeply. We broke up 2 months ago. We barely have had any contact and today he said that it's better if we say goodbye and that I forget he exists. He broke up with me because I wasn't honest about everything but the love we had was amazing and he said he's seeing someone else. He said she respects him and is trustworthy and he is becoming happier everyday. -Julita
I do feel that he has a friend (he would have a lot of friends) but nothing as intense as he would have you believe. Also, most of the things he is telling you are to make you feel that you made a mistake, and lost a good thing. In all honesty he is as disappointed as you are. Often in long distance relationships that persists the question of when do we move forward as a couple always comes forth, and this is where the barrier or inaccuracies emerge. For some reason he would feel that he is incapable of keeping your attention; he has created a situation where you are verbally assuring him you will be there. It is not over between you and he, only sleeping. I would advise you to get to know this person a lot better, before you define your feelings. Right now he is confident in your love for him, however you are not confidant in his feelings for you; I do feel strongly this is intentional, and if you are searching yourself for an explanation or reason you will not find it. Your communication will continue.
I divorced my ex-husband in 2000 then moved back in with him living as husband and wife until 2008. At the time he said that we were no longer compatible and we split up. Since then he has been living with another woman. He says that if she were to ask him to leave he would go but that he still loves me very much but he does not have any reason to leave her. I am still in love with him but I don't know that it would be wise to reunite with him if he were to leave her and come back to me. What do you think? -Susan
First of all being just incompatible after a marriage is not a reason, and I really hope there was more to it then that; people will address or consider these things before a marriage not after. I truly feel that he is doing what a lot of ex husbands do; he is holding on to you. By keeping your attention in the way of lack of definition he is keeping the situation open. And I feel this is very unfair; he still has a great deal of affection for you, just as the majority of people feel towards each other after a marriage fails. I do not feel he wants you to move on as he did; I also know he will continue this and also attempt to return to you. However, most people will not except being the second choice. I do not see things working out the way you want where he is concerned, as the next few months progress you will see this aspect more and more clearly every day.
Love Questions: Posted February 25th, 2013
I've reunited with an old boyfriend from 33 years ago. We had been seeing each other on and off for 2 years. He recently started seeing an ex-wife that he never got over. My question is; will it work out between them or will he return to me? I truly love him and I don't know if she truly loves him. His whole family loves me and disapprove of her because of what she put him through. When will he come back to me? Does he truly love me? -Tina
I do not see this an issue of your feelings vs. hers. He will try to make it work because of problems from the past; in other words he tends to feel that he was the one that caused her to end the relationship and this is his attempt to resolve mistakes from the past. I feel he is going to do his best to make things work. Within four months he will open up to you and suggest that the feelings are still present for you. My advice to you and his family is to back off a bit, you must allow him to make his own decisions. A relationship with him would cause you a lot of problems right now. Allow him to make the first move. One thing needs to be made clear, a relationship will be impossible if there is any third party influence.
I am married and I feel like a horrible person. I love my husband and he is the most caring person you will ever meet. Unfortunately, since before me and my husband were married, I have had a connection to one of his friends. From the moment I met this friend, I have had this attraction to him. About 3 years ago, me and my husband became disconnected and I started hanging out with this man more than I should which just made things worse. We had one night where I talked about my feelings and then we did the responsible thing and avoided one another. Three years later this man has broken up with his girlfriend of 6 years and has started hanging around again. I don't know how this guy really feels, we never really talked it all out and maybe that’s why I can't let it go. I guess I just need someone to tell me that this guy doesn't have feelings for me and I am a horrible person for wanting this guy to have feelings for me. -Angela
Many people know the right thing to do but they do not do it; if you are still married I would advise you not to start something you can't control. There is a problem with spending your time thinking about this man; when the thought should be repairing the marriage. This man has genuine feelings for you, however, if you and he are committed to someone else, it would never work out the way you want it to. I apologize but I feel both you and he are making a big mistake; the infidelity in the past assures him that your communication will be private, and he also feels that you do seek his attention. One mistake was made in the past, it would be foolish to pursue this. Now if both of you were single things would be different. It is human nature to want what we can't or should't have. However, a defined individual should have no problem in doing the right thing. Wrong behavior always comes back to bite you and this is called karma.
I'm 24 and I’ve never had a real boyfriend in my life before. It's gotten to the point where I'm starting to think that there is something wrong with me. Most of my friends have relationships and I always feel that I'm left out. I always think of having a relationship, but don't know if I'm ready to open up to someone yet. Especially being my age, the older I get, the more it's difficult for me to open up to someone on a romantic level. I'm not someone who likes chasing men, I prefer if they would come to me. Sometimes at night I even fantasize of falling a sleep in the arms of the man of my dreams. Most of my friends tell me that I should open up more and just be myself when it comes to men. I think I'm just scared to open up to someone just to get my heart broken. The thing is that my parents are divorced when I was still young, and seeing my mom go trough all that pain left me with scars, I just do not want to go trough what she's went trough. What I want is to find that someone special who is meant for me. I just don't know what to do or say or act when it comes to relationships. I wonder if I would ever find a way to ever have a relationship. I wonder if my soul mate is really out there and that we are meant to be together forever. I just want to settle and be happy for the rest of my life. I just don't know if it's really meant for me? Thank you so much! -Lieve
Keep the image of a happy relationship close to your heart because that is your destiny. You are a very articulate person and I can tell you are very defined in what you want and expect out of a relationship. People you see or couples you see as being happy have to work at it to keep things positive and moving forward in a good direction; it's not as easy as it appears. By this time next year you will already be involved with someone and in the process of incorporating into each others lives. I do also feel that he will have grown children, but the main way to recognize him will be his smile. You will find his view of life is very similar to yours and a common view of the future will be almost automatic. The mutual interest in each other will grow seemingly forever. I see you meeting each other at some sort of outdoor event; carnival, farmers market, or yard sale.
Love Questions: Posted February 18th, 2013
Does Elizabeth truly love with me and want to be with me? We have been officially together for 8 months now, the first six months were wonderful! She would wanna see me every chance she got. She would text me and call me throughout the day. She would show her love for me verbally and by actions. Recently she has been cold at times and our time spent together has become less and less. I miss the days when we sat and talked for hours over coffee or when we went out. I just wanna know what’s going on? I'm confused. -Carlos
I do not feel that anything major is happening. After an amount of time couples become familiar with each others patterns and rhythms and adapting to these changes is what a relationship is all about. People usually establish a comfort level with each other and this includes the realities of life, responsibilities, and obligations; if a couple can retain interest through realities of life and if they choose to, this is a relationship. In the beginning things were new and more exciting because of the process of experience. All that I feel is required is new positive active experiences, hobbies, faith, music, and other topics of common interest; these experiences create topics for discussion, positive memories, and shared opinions. The relationship you are in needs to keep a steady pace. I feel very strongly that you and she can create what you want, but understanding is the first step; then activity to the point you want as a couple. Depending on the level you want, shared spiritual experience is also very important in a perspective long term relationship.
After 30 years of marriage and becoming first time grandparents, I caught my husband having an affair. I don't know how long it's been going on. Is he still in love with me although he says he hasn't loved me in years? And is there any chance of our marriage being saved? As a matter of fact, the love question posted October 22nd, 2012 sounds scary to me because the woman he is seeing is named Beth. She knows he's married, a first time grandfather and doesn't care. I'm sure this is just a coincidence reading Elizabeth's letter, but she lives 50+ miles from here which means that they don't get to see each other that often. Please help! -Cindy
At any time, even once, when the vows of a marriage are broken the marriage is over. What a marriage is; is a promise to god, or higher power that the common image of life will be shared, in return the assistance and guidance in life will be there, once the vows are broken, the promise or spiritual bonding has been eliminated the common image is gone. We all need to remember that it is the maintaining of the spiritual bonding that must be present to make the marriage work, but it is the legal aspect that is there for the womans protection in life. I can still feel the love between you two and if the vows or marriage is redone it can work. He will want to return and just react as if everything is back to normal within three months, but there must be another marriage or the same problem will return. I suggest you give him a little time, then it would be time to take action. He will want to return even now he is starting to feel his mistake and we all make mistakes what counts is how we correct these mistakes. Even though you feel that you also made mistakes you need to realize we can't go back to the past to prevent things from happening, that never works and is really a waste of time; but what we can do is create the future we want step by step.
I have an extreme crush on my guy friend. I started having these feelings for him this summer. I just need to know if he likes me back? He really gives me mixed signs, and it's hard for me to ask him if he feels the same for me. One moment I feel confident that he is interested in me. He looks me deep in the eyes and he smiles. We have a lot in common and are very similar. He has, however, become more invisible lately. He behaves a little tricky by making me jealous or something like that. We will soon go away on an event, and I'm worried how this journey will end. Is he interested in me or not? -Jenny
Yes he is very interested in you and he knows you feel the same. The reason for the mixed signals and unpredictability is merely to keep you interested and thinking about him. I feel that this year is going to be a lot of fun and remain special in your memories and it is because you and he will be bonding and getting to know each other better. He will begin to feel more comfortable with you and you with he. By spring you and he will be dating; now what I see as being important is that you and he will continue to like each other and become closer and closer, by summer I see a structured relationship. A close family member will be key in your perspective relationship.
Love Questions: Posted February 11th, 2013
I met this guy on a dating site in January of this year and we started dating in July. In October of this year it seemed like things started to change with him. At first he was so fun and attentive of me and would tell me I'm pretty. Now it seem like he is backing off from me but he said he loves me when I tried to talk to him about a week ago about the change. He doesn't want to talk and he says he doesn't like talking very much because it just leads to madness. What happened to us?
-Jacqueline
I feel that your affection for each other has began the process of entering reality. The vast majority of men are not as skilled or as practiced in opening up or talking about feelings and strong emotions as most women are. I do not feel he is backing off from you because of a problem with his feelings for you, this is not happening. I feel very strongly that you and he only need common experience or activity, movies, concerts, any sort of activity that creates positive emotions; this is for two reasons, first activity with each other promotes a comfort level and topics for conversation; secondly it promotes a common image of the future. Your relationship is entering reality; he is only concerned about doing it correctly. You will see a change in him in the way of he, paying you and the relationship. This change is already starting to occur, and you will notice it with in days.
I am married but it's a difficult marriage with no love and humiliation. I met a secret love after 13 years of marriage, I asked my husband for a divorce but he refused. He found out about my affair and my lover and he got scared and he starts ignoring me after 6 months. I am so heartbroken because I learned to love and started to share my feelings with him. It is now a month ago since we last communicated. Will he ever contact me or will he return back to me? -Silke
First of all, if you are seeking a divorce because of this other man, that would be your first mistake. If this is about you as an individual, that makes it different. Men and women seek divorces and separations for all kinds of different reasons, but one thing that is consistent is if a spouse feels the reason for the separation or divorce is another person you can not expect cooperation and understanding form them. I feel that a divorce is inevitable. After you go through the very uncomfortable process of divorce and all that is accociated with it, he will make an appearance in your life, however, he will still have no desire to get involved with your divorce what so ever.
I'm not sure where to start but I'm a very insecure person because of my past. I love my partner very much but I'm scared of everything coming tumbling down again. Could you please put my mind at rest and tell me if I'm ok to commit to her? She's my best friend and my partner I've been friends for ten years and in a relationship for 5. There's something seriously stopping me wanting a future I'm scared in a way, so if you could help I will be most grateful. Thank you very much. -Trevor
With love there is no grantees; love and religion or spiritually are the same thing in the way that both are based on blind faith. You and she have invested a lot of time and affection in each other and there is a time to be grateful and confidant in your feelings. It is very important to remember that you and she have shared all the same experiences and emotions and you are both working with the same information. She would feel that your relationship has been an investment in time, feelings, and shared situations; and she does love you. There is no need to worry about the future, as long as you are doing the right thing in the right here and now. I wish most people would take a committed relationship the way that you do. You're evolving life together will work out well, and become stronger and more defined as long as you hold her dear in your heart.
Love Questions: Posted February 4th, 2013
My husband cheated on me over a year ago and I asked him to leave our home and he moved in with his mistress. He said that it's not because he didn't love me anymore, just that he was unhappy in the marriage. A few days ago he told me that he cares for her and he even loves her but he's not in love with her and it makes me wonder if I'm holding out for something that's not going to happen or I should move on. Please help! -Paulette
He will make an attempt to reenter your life. However, you can not feel any blame for what has occurred; it really is not a problem with your marriage as he states, the biggest part of the problem is that he has another woman; so please do not follow his lead, that you played equal role in the separation; it is just not true. For all intent and purpose, the marriage is over. The common image you and he once had of the future has been eliminated by contrary actions. I have no doubt that he loves you very much and that he feels the intricacies (details) more and more. For things to be as they were before there would be a required redoing of the vows and absolutely no third party influences to even begin the healing process, if not it will never work. However, by that time (6-7 months) you just may not want to rekindle the relationship.
I've been having trouble finding love. I want to know if I will find love soon or someday find my soulmate and how this person looks. I hope you get my question. Have a nice day. -Ivan
I feel strongly that you are a very magnetic individual and that you will never have a problem making friends. I also feel that you are a very defined person; you know exactly what you want out of life and what you have to offer. Deep loving relationships, even if they are only romantic in nature, will change an individual in all ways; mind, body and spirit. By this time next year you will already be involved in a very, very deep friendship that has the potential to evolve into a deep romantic love. This person will be exactly your same age and, more importantly, will share an interest or field of study and this is only the beginning.
I met someone by the name Jonathan a few months ago. We have not spoken in several weeks because of miscommunication and hurt feelings. Will we reconnect and do you see us starting a friendship that will lead to a relationship? Will he contact me? -Patasha
The friendship will be reestablished but never in the same way. You and this man are very similar in your attitudes and perceptions of life and this situation has left you and he feeling regretful and uncomfortable. You will find that the misscomunication and hurt feelings have been swept away. If you feel that you have a pretty good perception of what the next couple of months hold, you do not. There will be a very positive issue going on in your life and you will want to hold on to the feeling or make it last as long as possible.
Love Questions: Posted January 28th, 2013
My husband left me two months ago. He said he loved me but wasn't in love with me. He hasn't talked to me in all this time. I thought we had a great marriage. We were married for 12 years. He's been having a crisis, he's self-employed and his business has hit rock bottom. I found out today that he's been cheating. He called me today and said what he did has finished us. I'd like to have a chance to work on things. He's never given me a chance to try to repair our marriage. He seems very confused. My question is will my husband come back to me one day? -Cheryl
First of all, it would be impossible for you to repair or fix the marriage when you did not do anything to play a key role in the separation or destruction of the common image you and he once had. When a couple take vows to god or their higher spiritual beliefs, it creates a bond or a common image; once the vows or pure spiritual essence of the hand fasting, marriage, or promise to your higher power is broken or gone so is the common image which held things together and made the marriage work. I can understand why he still feels overwhelmed; he disappointed you to the point of not being able to face you or the issues that destroyed your marriage. I feel very strongly that regrets, his methods of dealing with stress (all actions carry a price; emotionally, psychological and spiritually) and he realizes this more then ever. I also feel that you and he will give things another try but remember it is him that needs to express by his deeds and actions, the desire to re-do your vows. A renewal of your marriage is possible but only if the process and meaning of the vows are very clear and studied. I have found that infidelity can cause a lot of un-thought of issues and problems, regrets and guilt. Unless there is literally another marriage it will not work. Love is a very powerful thing and capable of creating miracles if approached in a correct manor and with the right intentions. You and he still love each other very much, and will have another chance.
I have been dating a guy for 11 weeks and I have grown fond of him. We have only been on a date once as he has a child whom he sees every other weekend so I only see him when he might be available. He calls nearly everyday but sometimes this is if I instigate it. I do find him to be a hard worker therefore sometimes he will not call at all, and it would seem as though he is pre- occupied. I am getting frustrated I cannot understand his behavior and whether he is interested in a relationship. Am I wasting my time? –Evelyn
I feel very strongly that he is the type of person that handles real life issues in a realistic way and like most men is more comfortable in the here and now. Right now he is dealing with the realities of life and love. I do not feel that he is preoccupied by anything in particular, he is just very aware that people really need to know each other well when entertaining the thought of a more time consuming relationship. This man would be very aware of the reality of a serious relationship. I feel that your situation with each other can evolve if perused in a more day-to-day month-to-month way. If there are any barriers that he perceives he will let it be known, just as you would let him know. Try not to make the mistake of rushing through the bonding phase; it can be very, very enjoyable to take your time and smell the roses.
My ex and I have been on and off for a very long 10and years. We have a daughter together. I think I have subconsciously waited for him, he knows that I always do. We will be good for a few months or weeks then he pulls away and either screws around with his ex or someone new. I just wonder if we are meant to be or if there is someone else out there for me. If there is someone out there for me, will I ever find him? – Miranda
Time will tell the tail. I feel he sees the same dynamics that you do. Essentially, you and he are going through all physical and mental stress of committed relationship without the benefits of a committed relationship. (It feels to me as if you are married). Unfortunately, when a relationship goes bad or is dysfunctional is when people get serious; and to be very honest with you, it should happen before some times it is too late. Established behavioral patterns are very difficult to break, however, desire is the primary factor and I just do not feel it. Your situation with each other will continue for a very long time (back and forth). If the spiritual issue is explored and acted upon there may be a chance to see eye to eye on things. You have been presented with a child (a gift) and it is important that you and he are grateful. I feel that the common force you and he possess is the love for your child. You will see a lot of positive changes in yourself and in him within the next four months. Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to start over again and do it right. But right now I would advise a time out from each other so he can define his emotions and feelings (it would be a good idea for you also), and always remember the proof is in the pudding.
Love Questions: Posted January 21st, 2013
I met someone about 4 months ago that has intrigued me to no end. He lives in another state so we have only seen each other 4 times total. In the four months, with texts, phone calls, and the visits, I feel as though this could be a life partner. The reality and logistics don't support that even though the connection seems strong. Is this my life partner, or has the past four months been just a fun, flirtatious, honeymoon period? -Greg
I feel strongly that he sees your evolving relationship as a work in progress and he essentially finds you to be a very genuine person. He would also be more inclined to focus on how you perceive him and a perspective deeper relationship. One reason I see a growing situation with each other is that you both are working with similar and realistic information about each other. A big reason many relationships that start online do not work is that individuals become dramatically absorbed in fantasy (It is very easy to do, and tends to be exciting) and fantasy becomes the predominate force in the relationship. The other big reason things do not develop even if people like each other, is that one person in the growing relationship starts to look into the future to fast and scares the other away. I do not see these things happening in your situation. You and he realistically like and enjoy being with each other, and are basing your observations of each other on reality. Things should progress nicely between you and he. Enjoy the bonding experience.
When I was younger I started dating a high school friend, E. We dated for a while but it seemed it was going nowhere so we broke up. A few years later I met and married a guy not knowing that he was a distant cousin of my ex until it was too late. My ex and I remained friends like we always had been from the start. A couple of years ago I got divorced. Eric looked me up recently and we started hanging out hot and heavy. Now all of a sudden he has cooled off. When I was with him I could feel his feelings for me even though he didn't say a word. I know I was married to his cousin but I feel something could be there this time for us. Am I just fooling myself or does E really have feelings for me and got cold feet once he realized this? If he does, when will he get over his fear? -Karen
This reaction from him is because even though you and he like each other (and you both know this) you are looking at a relationship differently. He does love you and has for a long time however, he is looking at things in a more day to day and romantic situation. He very much enjoys being close to you, but I feel you may be looking at things in a more long-term and realistic way. I feel a more secure and defined relationship is possible and will evolve soon naturally but right now I advise you and he not to rush things. There is a certain magic and power in a non complicated relationship and I feel you and he can accomplish this.
I like a girl with the initials J, she just got back with her ex. I think that I might love her. Do I have a shot or should I just give up? if I have no shot, how much longer will I have to wait to find someone? Is anything good going to happen soon? -Travis
I feel that you and she, have an unspoken knowledge that you or she would never do any thing to hurt the other and this trust is not an easy thing to establish between two people. People always become closer to each other when they open up to each other; you and she have become close friends witch some couples never establish. The opportunity to become more then friends will arrive, but I would advise you to let the current situation run its natural course without interference or demands. The dramatic and intense situation she is currently going through, she must go through by herself; then her choices in life will succeed. She understands how you feel about her and has not declined your attention. The key is patience on your part.
Love Questions: Posted January 14th, 2013
I met this guy on a dating site in January of this year and we started dating in July. In October of this year it seemed like things start to change with him. At first he was so fun. He would tell me I'm pretty and he loves to look at me. Now it seems like he's backing off from me but he says he loves me. When I tried to talk to him about it a week ago he didn't want to talk. He says he doesn't like talking very much and when I ask why he says it's just me that's how I am. What happened to us? -Jacqueline
He would only feel the inability to move forward, and by his obvious indifference or hesitation to talk or discuss the matter, he is leaving the situation open. This not only maintains your curiosity (what happened?) it also shows you that he can't move forward; If you are searching yourself for an understanding, it would be impossible to understand something that you have nothing to do with. I do not feel this has to do with anything major, but it does show a bit of insecurity. I advise you to give your situation with him a time out; you may feel uniformed right now but not for long. Within a short amount of time (two months) he will contact you. After your talk, you will see or understand where he is coming from; it is not another.
I am married but I'm in a difficult marriage with no love and humilation and so I met a secret love after 13 years of marriage. I asked my husband for a divorce but he refused. He found out about my affair and my lover and he got scared and he starts ignoring me after 6 months. I am so heartbroken because I learned to love and started to share my feelings with him and it is now a month ago since we last communicated. Will he ever contact me or will he return back to me? -Silke
He will make an attempt to contact you; its going to take a while, six months or so. This contact will only be to see if you are in the same situation. When a man and woman open up to each other in such a way it creates attachment. I do not feel you know him the way you think you do. I do not see this man wanting to make any major changes in his life. You will be very occupied by other matters pertaining to your marriage but the process will not be as difficult as you think; the key is to act within a reasonable amount of time.
I'm not sure where to start but I'm a very insecure person because of my past. My partner that I love very much but I'm scared of everything coming tumbling down again, could you please put my mind at rest and tell me if I'm ok to commit to her? She's my best friend and my partner. We've been friends for ten years and in a relationship for 5. There's something seriously stopping me wanting a future I'm scared in a way, so if you could help I will be most grateful. Thank you very much. -Trevor
Being that you feel the way that you do about a more deeply committed relationship is telling you no matter the reason, slow down. When you and she see a common image of the future the time will be right. However, you and she may be feeling a committed relationship will ruin the friendship but it will not. I would take the time to explain the way you feel to her; she may be thinking that after all this time there should be more certainty. It would be nice if there were guarantees where love is concerned, but there is not. It comes down to doing the best you can. Remember this is not only your desire but also hers. If you both feel the time is right for a deeper commitment, I do not foresee any complications.
Love Questions: Posted January 7th, 2013
I had a one time relationship with a guy Ryan. Afterwards he starting treating me like he didn't care about me. Then he was coming on to my daughter. Now all of a sudden her marriage is so bad and she wants out. And of course I am to blame. So we do not speak. There's a lot of other detail involved, but I'm sure you know. My question is; what is going to be the outcome of her marriage? Is Ryan going to think he is coming back to me? I need to know because I would really like to treat him the way he treated me. Thanks -Deborah
First of all, revenge only serves to bring ourselves trouble and further stress an unresolved anxiety. Secondly, how can you predict this mans behavior? You really did not get to know each other well enough to do this effectively. Your daughter is basing her attitudes and way of looking at life on what you seem to be going through; anger, regret, and distrust. Right now your daughter has a mixed view of loving relationships; she sees how much confusion certain relationships have brought you and she does not want to go through the same thing. Even though is was never started, I suggest that you end contact with this man who you say is causing your uneasiness. Your daughters relationship will endure, even though they both need a bit of a time out. I do feel they truly love each other.
My husband passed away Jan 2006. I finally feel like I’m ready to love again. I met this man in Jan 2012 we dated a few times and I like him very much but not sure how he feels about me. Wondering if he has any feelings for me. I would like to have a relationship with him, will this happen? -Celestine
I feel he is wondering the same thing but in a different way. He is concerned about your readiness to start a relationship; and I do feel strongly that his concern is genuine. You and he already enjoy each others company and I feel you and he can converse and share opinions and points of interest. I feel that you and he will continue to date and the potentional for a deeper relationship is already in the process. I also would advise you and he to develop commonalities and positive experiences and let nature take its course. He will present you with a minor view of the future and he will be observing your reaction with joy.
My question is will there be any improvement in my love life? I have been so unlucky in the love department and I feel that I might never find someone. I keep saying maybe next month, but that turns into maybe next year. I am ready for along term relationship that will not only nourish my heart but soul as well. Do you see that guy coming around for me in the near future? Will he truly love me? -Kyandra
No, I do not see a man coming around and pursuing you, however, by this time next year you will be well into a happy and mutually supportive relationship. There will be two specific opportunities; One is going to be with a person from your distant past; The love and thought of you has never faded from his mind, he also felt at one time you were unapproachable to him. I see you and he running into each other as a result of a mutual friends gathering. You will also meet a new individual as a result of an educational pursuit; school, church or temple; you will recognize him because of his constant companion a dog. I feel strongly that you are a very defined woman and would prefer this trait in a man that you chose to devote your time and attention to; you will also find that he is an accomplished musician, although he does not work in the field.
Love Questions: Posted December 31st, 2012
There are 2 co workers that I really like; one I dreamed about before I met her and the other there is something about her that says go ahead say something to her. Can you tell me if any of these women are good for me or should I just wait? -I
I genuinely feel that you are compatible to a lot of people including the two you are referring to. I advise you to be friendly to all people, and I feel you are. It would be easy for you to establish a good conversation as a result of getting to know an individual you are interested in to see if they may feel the same or exactly what a persons situation in life is; this is accomplished by open conversation; it is important to go through this process because the intention and the mention of a romantic relationship mentioned too early will create a barrier to things evolving naturally. The potential for an evolving relation is present with in the heart of the woman you drempt about. I would not let her know about the dream just yet.
I’ve been with a guy for about a year now and I had all these hopes for him. He even kind of helped get my mind off of someone I was still in love with who moved to New York. Am I currently expecting too much out of my current boyfriend? I am getting to the point to where I think I want to leave him. Do you see any improvement or should I just stick to my initial plan? Thank you. -S
It's very difficult if not impossible to predict if a relationship is going according to plan; it does take two. I do feel strongly that you yourself should know if somebody means that much to you and you to them, you will know and so will he. Let your decision be made for you by what you experience and how you feel. Within the next two months things will be a lot clearer to you and you will not feel the same.
My ex and I of 3 years recently split in September. Him and I had such a strong loving bond, I love him deeply. Will there be reconciliation betwen us? Will we ever speak again? If so, when? -M
He does miss you but same as you, he is still uncomfortable over the situation that led to the break-up. I feel that he is deeply in the process of definition where you are concerned; what I mean is thinking to himself, what was the relationship all about? Was I happy? Was she happy, etc. I do not feel he is ready to talk but he will contact you regarding a non personal matter. You and he will decide to give things one more chance, however, it's going to be around five months before you and he will try. The original issue will still be there also, it only depends on the desire to be with each other, which I feel is strong.
Love Questions: Posted December 24th, 2012
My ex and I have been separated for a year now but we still hang out and stuff. He says he wants to be with me but can’t because he is scared to get hurt again. I want to know if we will ever be together again. His name is A. Thanks! –L
Yes, the opportunity will emerge with in the next two months. I feel the stated break-up was the only way to deal with the situation. Let me explain; I feel that you and he bonded very quickly and being able to open up to was and is a very unique and special thing to him. When a couple is in a friendship with benefits, the automatic intention is to really not fall in love but just enjoy being with a special person. However, we are human beings with the gift of emotion and expression and we fall in love. This man does love you and your ways, he has also entered the realm of reality where you are concerned. Breaking-up is only his way of saying please do not ask me any questions about our future as a couple; I do not know what to say. I am positive you have noticed how deep in thought he has been. I feel strongly that he is a bit worried about what he has to offer you as a view to the future. We all need to remember that a relationship is a project in the works, not a final result. He is honest with you about being hurt (this is rare for a man) and just looking for reassurances of your feelings for him. You and he will give a relationship another chance and this time it will work, or should I say evolve.
My ex and I dated for 3 months, but things started to get very serious very fast. Within 2 weeks of dating she wanted to move to my school, and invited me on a family vacation. A few weeks later she broke up with me. It was her first relationship as well as mine. I probably was a little overbearing without knowing it, but she seemed unaffected by the break up. After sending her a poem, she said she no longer wanted to be friends and deleted all my friends on face book. I then deleted her. She then made a fake profile to keep track of me, and then took it down when she found out I knew it was her. A week later she texted me saying "Hope you’re having a good day!" She didn't extend the conversation from there. It has been 3 days since that text and a month and half since the break up. Also she is spending time with a lot of new friends, but not guys, just girls. What is she thinking and do you see her coming back? I truly do love her, but it has taken an emotional toll on me. –N
When couples that truly love and care about each other break-up or divorce over minor and unresolved issues, they tend to fade and become less vivid in our hearts and in our memories; the positive, humorous, and spiritual tend to make people smile and feel good; (Spiritual Bonding), this is why ex couples will often try again. It comes down to seeing the future in a common way. All people need to realize that you never get closer to another by asking them to give something up, it just does not work. She is not real defined about the future right now. However, she is becoming more defined as an individual all the time, as are you. She will not fit in your ideal situation, nor will you into hers; but there is a great chance that you and she can accomplish more as a couple, and you will have this chance, or should I say; the opportunity is present right now. I would advise you to lighten up a bit and try to have some fun with each other, a concert, a movie, or an abutment park. Try not to let the ideal future inserter with the present. When the love is strong and enjoyed the future tends to create itself.
I am moving on, I tell myself. What makes it difficult; I work with my ex. I know he had moved on and living with a girlfriend after 6 months we broke up. We had a short-term relationship. I still hope for us to reconcile, however, I am afraid and keep telling myself to let go of the ego. However, when I see him, I still feel the care. I’ve had another psychic readings and they predicted we would reconcile. For some reason, I can't believe it to be true. –K
Even though you and he also, care about each other you really do not know each other as well as you think. There are a lot of issues involved; I know that when you and he were seeing each other, you and he have only seen a bit of the best of each others personality, and this is the memory you are each left with, it does not mean that there is a guarantee that something will develop You will see each other and run into each other now and then; you and he will both consider each other close friends. The possibility of a committed relationship, is so complex that you nor he would not give it a realistic try.
Love Questions: Posted December 17th, 2012
I've been in this relationship for two years. He has cheated and I'm trying to get over it. He says he loves me and how I'm the only one. Are we meant for each other and has he stopped cheating? Thanks. –C
It's really not a matter of getting over it. People have no choice but to move on or try to forgive and forget. If what you mean is regaining the trust in your relationship; I agree. You may be spending to much time thinking about what he says to you; and taking his statements as being your guide to defining yourself or your feelings. Please do not forget that the statement I love you does not mean that the issue is resolved. After two years you and he should understand each other much better. If you and he desire a committed relationship, living life as a couple rather then individually, the first aspect is trust, with out it there is no relationship. I feel strongly that this man loves you very much, and the cheating is getting to be an embarrassment to him. He is starting to realize that this behavior makes him look very stupid and he has no desire to be looked at in that way. Where you are concerned directly, he knows he is putting you in danger and that he has lost your trust. I can see that he is looking at life in a very serious way right now and fully intends to regain your trust. He is becoming very aware of how much he loves you. Within in two months he will make a grand gesture of affection towards you. Everyone makes mistakes, he knows the last was just that, the last that you will put up with and he does not want to lose you. By the way, he has stopped.
My husband is having emotional affairs. He sleeps with me in bed and acts like all is good yet can't stop chatting the girls. He gave money to one women I know of, she sent him a check for money that bounced. He is working with an investigator to catch her or the scam people but my husband just keeps going back to his ways. When will he stop his nasty ways and learn to commit to me? Does he truly love me by hurting me over and over with still chatting girls? When will he stop and truly commit back to our marriage? –D
This issue is one that is growing in frequency, it is also the cause behind countless divorces and break ups. I do feel that he is aware of the growing problem, or should I say compulsion. When a type of behavior is interfering with average every day activities, and personal relationships, but continues it would be seen as an addiction. If behavior continues despite negative consequences (mentally, phisicaly, and spiritually), it would be considered a compulsive addiction. I feel it will take about a year, however, the faster he seeks out professional help, the sooner your relationship will heal. This man loves you and his family very much and would not want to case any problems or worry; and he is aware that he is doing just that. He will succeed with you by his side.
I've had a very bad year. My son died at age 25. My so-called boyfriend dumps me for someone else, and now my ex husband dies. I've loved my friend for 8 years on and off now he is no longer married and he wants someone else. I’m having a break down. –Joanne
I can see and feel how hard the past few months have been on you, mentally so much has occurred. Physically, I can feel your exhaustion, and spiritually these type of events in our lives will test our faith. My advice to you would be to systematically try to handle these events as best as you can. Your son will always listen when you have something to say to him, as do the people you love that are no longer in this world. To love another completely we must realize that one day they or you will no longer be there physically; however, the reason we love with all our harts is because we know the love and spiritual bonding will always exist. You will find the coming year will be kind to you, and give you access to the things you require and desire in life. The lessons and reality of life although sometimes are very difficult to handle, but continue to teach us about ourselves and the ones we love. I feel you are a very creative individual and you will be inspired to create very soon; when you are ready. Just as the sun and moon rise and set, this aspect of creation is a definite.
Love Questions: Posted December 10th, 2012
Me and my girlfriend broke up in September. I really miss her. I haven't heard from her since the break up. Will we ever get back together? I think about her all the time. I dream about her all the time. I talk about her all the time. I want to talk to her so bad. When will she come back to me? -T
First we need to look at the reason for the breakup, can it be dealt with? Is there a solution? Does she miss me also? Can this barrier be changed? I feel the answer is yes. She also misses you and the patterns of your relationship. You can scream from the tallest mountain and state your love for her; however this is something she already knows. Every body needs time to define feelings for another, what I mean exactly is when an individual thinks about how there life has changed sense the relationship has been occurring; am I happier, do I feel loved, or, am I stressed out, do I feel unhappy?, this is what she is doing and she knows you are doing the same. I advise you to try to reestablish your communication with her, and if she has no desire to talk, let her know you are there when she is ready. You and she hurt each others feelings and it may take a while to repair the feelings; right now she is confused; as you are. I do feel strongly that you and she will have another chance, just give her time and try not to push her away by being obsessive (pressure will not get the effect you want). Allow her to break the silence. You will try again with each other, but I need to tell you that now its serious and to succeed your relationship with her and, her with you, its advisable to work on moving to a higher level, She will respond to this......... Give it a little time...
There is this man, M (DOB: 04/1963) that I truly care about and have fallen in love with. I don't know how he truly feels for me and I'm wondering if we will end up in a committed relationship together and if so, when? -W
I do feel its way to early to be considering a committed or long term relation ship. He does have a feeling about how you may feel about him, but right now there are more questions then answers. I do sense that it is very likely that you and he will get together, however I advise that you get to know each other a lot better. You do like what you see up to this point; and so does he. He tends to see you as very positive and happy. If there are no barriers, you and he will like each other more and more as the months go on, and in three months you will know the answer to your question yourself; I do see a great deal of potential.
Z and I have been together for 11 years and we have an amazing 8 yr old daughter. Recently we have had serious problems. He loves to drink beer and I am sharp with the tongue and make him feel awful about himself, which I felt he deserved because his friends, bars and football are more important to him than S and I. He has his own landscaping business (which was/is completely funded by my family) and he isn't paying bills or mortgage payment because he wastes money on smokes, beer and going out to clubs. Now that I've kicked him out of the house, I've fallen back in love with him and our sexual escapades are amazing! We had been doing really well being each others rock. Being positive, caring, and loving until I fell back into my verbal rampage. I went so low with the insults over a misunderstanding and said the most horrific thing ever! I said he was a bad dad and he used me and much worse! I didn't control myself like a mature, rational lady and now I think I've blown it. We both have a lot of work to do. There is a lot more to the story. However with this much pain I know there is love. Do you think he will put forth the effort and change for the better so we can move forward and have our little family back and better than ever? I am going to give 1000%. I love him so much and I know he loves me too, but that last blow out I had really shocked him. -R
He does realize how ruff things have become, and he does feel bad about the way he made you feel. This man is slowly figuring out that things are not the same anymore; friends and other people have a way of changing, local places of entertainment have also changed, different people and different music. Some changes are hard to handle (every thing has changed but I am still the same). I do not feel there is any problem with the love you feel for each other; it’s the way you show it to each other. All the issues you have brought up revolve around indulgence. I strongly feel that this issue has become medical; and requires a medical solution (Counseling). He does not mean to hurt you or the child but he is in need of help to feel better, and see life in a hopeful way. This man is a good man and you and he do make a very good couple; but I advise you and he to start to have fun with each other and, enjoy each other.... because what it comes down to is that you miss each other, Its time to go back and indulge in each other.. When true love is present, any thing is possible, and one thing I feel very strongly is that you do have a great deal of love for each other.. With in a month things will be a bit more mellow, and you will be able to talk to each other, effectively.
Love Questions: Posted December 3rd, 2012
I was with this man on and off for 2 years and he always said that he doesn't want a relationship right now but he promised me in the future he's going to give me so much more. I interrupted complete contact with him because I was hurting too much and couldn't handle him being there for a while then disappearing again. I went against my will and heart and try to love and focus on someone new but I keep relapsing into the past. Right now I'm in a fresh relationship with a man that loves me but it's almost like I cannot love him more than a bit. However, when I think of reuniting with my ex I feel joy that I can love him so much more. The problem is that the actual boyfriend has really serious plans in mind about us and me sometimes I like the idea to go along and take it further but whenever I think of my ex I want to go back to him. It's almost like I cannot have the same amount of feeling and the same intensity to offer to any new boyfriend. I'm scared that if I marry this guy that I'm with right now and my ex would come back for me I would leave my marriage to go back with my ex. My question to you is what do you think or see as a best solution and do you think my ex will be ever able to love me the way that I love him? -A
I agree with you about getting married; it would not work under present circumstances. Where you and your ex are concerned, I do not feel there was any sort of formal conclusion to your situation with each other, you just faded away from each other. Loving each other is not the issue; even if it is your question; you know he does love you. Yours and his view of the future is as different as can be and this is the reason you and he both feel a bit disappointed. It is difficult to reach an ideal image within a relationship, it takes dedication and a common image, but most of all mutual desire. You will always love certain people in your life, family, close friends, beloved pets, each is as unique as a fingerprint. You and he will always feel strongly toward each other, yet undefined. As individuals you and he also are becoming more defined as individuals. Your friendship will continue, on a very casual basis. I advise you to be happy and enjoy your current relationship. As far as these feelings, I feel they will always exist.
Is there anything real interesting or exciting to look forward to in romance for the rest of this year or for next year? Nothing seems to progress or be as exciting as it use to be when I was younger and I'm still young at 23 and I should be dating but I don’t even like guys at my work. Guys at work have asked me out here and there and I don't want any drama or jealousies that I already get from girls there so I don’t go. Girls have been a major destroyer of a lot of guys who have been interested but have seem to got in the way. I've had random guys in public get my number to ask me out but I don't go for it since there's too many risks. I don't want to waste time on anyone and really feel like I've wasted time on plenty of guys in my past that didn't deserve one bit of my time or little attention. Really it seems like this generation could be a lot of useless guys that only are out for one thing only. I've been giving up on that area because when a guy comes along who shows major interest I just trash the idea and forget it and not let him get close to me because it just ends up in complete failure and then again I can say it was very much a complete waste of time. I'm feeling really materialistic and going shopping more than usual to put out my frustrations it's like water to fire for me. -Jennifer
It would be nice if there were any guarantees in love, but there is not. You are a very defined woman, you know what you want in your life and I applaud that. I know you have always received a lot of attention from others, and it would be very easy to open up to you and talk. For a lasting long term relationship to evolve for you, it must evolve on three levels: mentally, physically, and spiritually. There has to be an active interest, that does not fade but intenceifies, a romantic and physical attraction, that does not fade, the spiritual aspect means that you feel someone entered your life for a reason for example; destiny, the wish of Great Spirit ( God ), or the feeling of recognition and attachment with out prior involvement. As you can see its not easy; but what makes it easy and natural is when the object of your affection feels the same. During the holiday season you will meet someone who sees life in a very similar way to you; but most of all he will be able to make you laugh and smile very easily. You will meet each other as a result of a holiday calibration.
I am currently dating a man I've known for about 6 years. I would like to know his true feelings towards me and where our relationship is headed in the coming months and in the future. I can't wait to hear back from you. Thank you so much! -M
He views your evolving relationship as an investment, not in a financial way but in the way of expressing feelings and emotions. I feel you and he both are waiting for the chance to talk about the future, however, you and he do not want to scare each other away by moving too fast. He would know or feel that if you do not hear some view of the future together from him, that you may lose your interest. Very soon this man is going to surprise you by his grand statement of affection. You will find you and he feel exactly the same.
Love Questions: Posted November 26th, 2012
I've known that guy for many years and he says he is divorcing his wife. He also says he loves me. I said he should at least be separated or divorced before we should do anything and since then he got real quiet. Is this relationship over or is it worth waiting for him? -B
First of all, it would be very difficult for him to make any quick changes, after all it’s worked so far. There are two very real aspects to this situation, the first is that he really does not have a hatred towards his wife, he does care and he knows a divorce would be very rough on all concerned, and he has no desire to be the cause of anybody’s pain or discomfort. Secondly the financial loss or destabilization. Most men including him, will not actively let go of something they have worked for all their life, or certain accumulated material gains. When there is a dislike of a spouse or the loss of love for the individual it is different, but that is not the case. He made a very big mistake and he knows it, but he does not regret you in his life. He does love you in all reality, but if the discussion of where you and he are going, or what the future holds for you two; he will not know how to respond and if continues not to know how to respond to your question, he will become distant. To him this is a very complicated situation that deserves more then a yes or no answer. He will continue to pursue you but I do not see any changes happening in his life for the foreseeable future.
I asked my husband in April if he was having emotional affair. I found out he was chatting with girls on his iPhone and on dating sites. What made my husband do this to me? Why does he lie about things? I also think he gave some girl money. Did my husband lose his mind or just got lost in the girls making him feel better about himself? I want answers to why he did this to me and if he has really stopped. Does he still lie to me about the affairs and emails, texts, calls from the girls? Please, I need answers. Is he a changed man who really understands how much he hurt this marriage and me? -D
I don’t feel that he intended to hurt your but things have become a little tense. He is pretty much caught up in a catch 22; if he over explains it will seem more intense then it really is, if he is silent it will seem as if he is hiding something. Even though I do not feel this is enough to end your relationship, you are correct the chat must stop. I have seen thousands of marriages have major problems because of this exact reason. Men tend to have an ego that enjoys the attention of another, it makes a person feel good that they are still appealing and interesting however there is a fine line between fantasy and reality. I know this problem can be resolved. I also feel very strongly that he does see the hurt and insecurity this behavior has caused, this man does love you very much and would never hurt you on purpose, if you give him a chance he will prove it to you. By the way, he has said goodbye to these contacts and fully intends to stop the communication.
My first boyfriend passed away not knowing he had a son. When I am sleeping he comes to me and tells me I need to tell you something. But I wake up before he tells me. What is it he is trying to tell me? Why did he never marry? -D
The reason the message was noncompliant or stopped before it could conclude is very simple; it is because you know it already, and he desires you to complete it (just like you have been). He is aware that he has a son and just wants to get the message through that he loves you and his son. One thing that is very important is that he wants you to know that when you feel like talking to him; talk and he does hear you.
Love Questions: Posted November 19th, 2012
My husband and I divorced 20 years ago. Since then we have sporadically kept in touch and I saw him once in 2006 when I flew to Florida. I live and work in Rhode Island. I love him still and there are no children involved. Will we see each other again before we die? -B
Yes you will have a chance to see each other. I also feel strongly that he periodically also has these kind of thoughts about you. I have seen a certain amount of couples have bitter and hurtful separations and divorces, however, the vast majority of couples end their cohabitation and committed relationships with disappointment and understand that it takes two to succeed. Human beings develop attachments in life and it's entirely likely that the caring is still present; in your personal case I do feel that concern and caring from both of you, towards one another. I know at the time you and he were both equally disappointed, but I do not feel any animosity from either of you. There will be two occasions that will prompt your meeting up with each other; one of need, and one of chance, within a year it will be arranged.
My boyfriend broke up with me to focus on resolving family issues from the past. He says he can't marry me now, he says he isn't ready and needs more time. Is he being honest or trying to keep the door open while he explores other options? -C
He is being very honest with you; you and he did evolve in your relationship with each other, you entered reality. However, certain unresolved issues were in the way. I commend this man and his desire to come to terms with family issues. As far as he exploring other options; I feel if he really wanted to do that, you would have been the last to know. His desires right now are more mature and important to him. This is not the end of your story with each other; I advise you to wait for information to make your final conclusion. Don't put off your life. You will hear from him around December, and his news will be that he has found the way to deal with issues that were giving him worry and concern. By the way, he also misses you.
My ex and I broke up early August this year and by September she got together with another guy. I know I have to move on but she is always on my mind all the time and part of me is harboring a secret hope that one day we'd be together again. I have plans to make a video montage of our sweet moments together with me commentating and get her a pair of earrings which I know she liked. This plan is something I stubbornly insist on carrying out for sure but only AFTER they have broken up. As long as they're together, I will not do anything to interfere in their relationship. My question to you is, will they be breaking up soon or is their new relationship going to be long term? As for me, I'm doing all I can to move on as well, but the fact that she's always on my mind is bothering me a lot. Another question is, should I get her a birthday present? -Z
If your goal is to give her a reminder of how you feel, she already knows how you feel towards her and this I feel was the issue. She is very complimented by your affection for her, but things began to move a little fast. This woman has certain plans for herself, she is happy and enthusiastic about her future. I do not feel that she has a desire for a commitment and life changing move, in the way of a structured relationship with any one, it is just not a part of her plan for herself. There is nothing wrong with saying happy birthday to a friend, in a friendly way. She knows you are not real happy that she is dating another and had no desire to hurt you or make you feel rejected, it is not that way. My advice to you is to maintain a friendship and leave communication open, and do not see her dating another person as a threat to you, it is not; she will maintain her way of thinking no matter who she dates. I feel she is a very special woman, and good things are worth patience. She has no desire for a structured relationship with anyone right now, but a close friendship is entirely possible.
Love Questions: Posted November 12th, 2012
Dear James,
I have known this man for off and on for 4 ½ years. I know there is something there, but something is always coming up with me or him and it doesn’t work out. I know he is attracted to me and if I was free we would be dating. Do you see anything proceeding between us in the future or is this a waste of time? –M
People seem to always want what they can’t have and when they do it feels like a person is getting away with something. Most of the time it’s a rush, but I guarantee that this type of situation will get old. It may be fun and enjoyable to receive this kind of compliment and that would be great, but easily taken to far. I would advise you to look at your relationship and try to fix whatever is wrong with it. If this childish flirting does not stop somebody can get hurt, so this is not fun and games; it’s very serious. I do feel that you do not even know this person as well as you think. I do not feel it’s a good idea.
Hi James,
For over a year now I have liked a chap, I see him at his place of work. A while back I asked him out and he said yes, then said no to going out. I seem to get the feeling he wants to talk now. I find that he waits for me to talk to him first. He can talk to others quite easily but seems shy with me. I would like to have a relationship with him; will this happen? –R
I do not feel that he is a shy man, but he does know that you like him. This man is very much aware of how others see him and his behavior and the time was not right. He is attracted to you and finds you to be a very pleasant woman. However, a relationship is a mutual decision based on acquired knowledge of that person and I feel he would very much like to get to know you better. Also, at this time he is available. The chances of you and he becoming good friends and more are very strong. I would advise you to share the holiday season and the activities involved. Like a lot of people, I feel he has had a rough relationship in his recent past and will feel more comfortable taking things a bit slow and easy.
Love Questions: Posted November 5th, 2012
Hi James,
Almost seven weeks ago I broke up with my ex boyfriend. I am still suffering from the pain of us breaking up. I met him online a year and half ago. We had an amazing relationship; we get along and just have an amazing chemistry together. However, one night we broke up due to a conversation about marriage commitment, looking back I must have pressured him unknowingly. Not that I wanted to get married soon, I just wanted to know if we have future together in terms of marriage. He said not sure if he can give that to me but he is willing to live and buy a condo together next year as a promise of being committed to me. I told him I couldn’t buy a condo with you unless we are married. He said why are we changing what we have and everything is perfect between him and I. Long story short we broke up. Is there a sign of reconciliation? I love this man very much and I am heartbroken. I have not in contact with him since. He ignored my text and I send him an email asking to give us a chance. No response. I need your advice. –Gina
His silence and lack of contact is not because he does not love you, on the contrary I feel his affection for you is very real. What I feel occurred specifically is you shocked him by your statement of marriage being the next step to your evolving relationship. Even though you and he have bonded in a very unique and romantic way the bonding process is not complete. If two people love each other and start to see the future in a similar way, this is great but only a beginning. When somebody you do care about sees a committed relationship or marriage all of a sudden it does shock a person. When an individual is shocked they will react or flee (the fight or flight response) in other words he would feel as if he needed to agree, if he were not prepared he would flee, if he continues to not know what to say he will become distant. I do feel strongly that you and he will have another chance, and if you take things slowly and let the common image of the future develop naturally. He would be delighted to start over with you.
My husband of 34 years left for another woman, he filed for divorce, but says he is not sure if this is what he wants or not. I love him with all my heart, we have a lifetime together and I feel that this is something that we can get through. He spends lots of time with this other woman, but has been back in our bed at least seven times since leaving. I know that the best thing to do is to avoid him, to make him see what he is missing, but it is so hard to do when I want him back so badly. Our children will not speak to him and will not allow our grandchildren near him. It has been two months and a living hell. What are the chances that he will come to his senses and return to our family and me? I am so confused, but so very hopeful. –A
I feel his rational is that has both a wife and a girl friend, and really has no need to make a choice and he will not. Sorry to say but the marriage is over. I have seen thousands of relationships or marriages where the couple wants to try again, but it never ever happens when there is a boyfriend or girlfriend involved, never. Love is a very strong feeling and it creates bindings that last forever, but does not mean that people do not change, they do. You will see very soon that he is keeping you confused purposely, and I really don’t see that he cares a lot about the embarrassment that the family has gone through... My best advise to you is to take a time out from him, he does not know what your next move is but, he does know how much you want to keep the family together. I do not feel that he realizes that when a persons feelings get hurt, most of the time they lose the desire to come back or give things another try; to an extent they lose that part of there love.
Love Questions: Posted October 28th, 2012
There is man by the name of J that I have known for 6 years now and things never worked out. However we still seem to find each other and can never move forward. Will he come back to me so we can finally be together? Will he leave his current girlfriend? –H
The details and the issues you and J went through at the time of an active relationship, I feel are still present, It’s only your personal situation that has changed. You keep finding each other and have a strong desire to be a part of each others lives. However, people get tired of failure. Positive relationships can give an individual so much enjoyment out of life but an insecure relationship is emotionally very difficult and takes a lot from a person, mind, body, and spirit. Both of you would feel very confused by what is occurring. I do not sense any problem with the romantic aspect; it is the realistic aspect that is the issue. Right now his reality is trying to make this new relationship work, even though he is taking things very slow. I do not feel he wants an extremely committed relationship right now. I also feel that you and he will have another chance with each other some where down the line, but not now. I would advise you not to interfere with his new friend, it will not achieve the result you want.
I have been seeing this man since Feb. I am in love with him very much. He says he loves me in his own way. He is also going to school 2 nights a week. And he does not want a serious or committed relationship until he is through with school. That will be in December. I want to know if I am wasting my time waiting on him to finish school. Does he really love me and want a future with me? He says he's not seeing anyone in a romantic or sexual setting. I'm not sure I believe him. Please Help! –Vick
In all honesty December is really not that far away, and I feel you would agree that these last few months are a big part of his future. You will find a much more relaxed and calm person after he is finished with what he needs to do. If you are a support system to him right now I feel his love will grow to a more advanced level. If you tend to interfere in the way of seeing his career interest as a barrier to a successful relationship; he will chose his career. He is looking at life in a day-to-day manor at this time and if you ask or discuss the future he will not be able to respond effectively. I do feel you and he have the potential for a successful relationship if jealously does not interfere; there is no reason for this type of insecurity.
My boyfriend came home Oct. 2nd and left me Oct. 6th for no reason at all. He won't pick up my calls and wont tell me what went wrong. I don’t know if I should keep trying to make it work or leave him be. He acts like he doesn’t even care or know me. How can you forget about a person that helped you and you lived with? –K
A person would not be able to forget living with another person. Living as a couple is something that would always remain in ones memory. Please try to remember that your current state of mind, confusion and the absence of a detailed explanation as to exactly why he left has been created intentionally by him. I do not feel that he knows exactly why he left and prefers to leave this issue unanswered. The only reason this is happening in this particular manor is to keep the situation open. He is very unsure about what the future holds not only where you and he are concerned but also his life in general. I do not feel you have any need to worry, he is OK. You will be receiving an explanation from him very soon (two weeks), and you will see this is really not about you. If you and he lose your correct communication with each other completely then it will really be over.
Love Questions: Posted October 22nd, 2012
Hello James,
I have been dating someone for over 4 months and when we are together he is wonderful and caters to my every need but due to both of our responsibilities we do not get to spend that much time together. When we are not together he is very cold and distant and he is always giving me conflicting signals and messages. I am so confused. I do not know what is true and what is real about him anymore. I do care very much about him and we are so much alike and get along so well that it is hard for me to not fall for him. I need to know if I should let my feelings for him grow or if it's best for me to give it up and put some distance between us. Please give me some guidance. I am trying to do what is best. Thank you so much for your help. -Elizabeth
He is being confusing and unpredictable intentionaly. I feel very strongly that his insecurities are a the root of his behavior toward you. What I mean exactly is that he feels that if you looked at yo situation together realistically, you would chose to quit the relationship, he would feel that he has nothing to offer you, so why would you want to continue? I know you don’t see things in that way but, that’s the way he feels, and that is the reason for this type of behavior. He sees and knows how confused you are but feels that is the only thing that will maintain your interested (reverse male psychology). If this man sees that this type of behavior, instead of confusing you has the effect of disappointing you it will case; I do also feel that he has fallen in love with you, and just may be a little overwhelmed by the feeling, the conflicting signals will stop soon; if thy do not work.
Recently I've told a special friend how I felt about him. His name is "O." We've been friends since 2004, and I have no idea how he feels. He does tell me how he cares about me but he never shows that he loves me for me. I've been insecure about telling him and honestly, second guessing about my heart. I love him dearly, but, I'm not sure if loving him is such a good idea right now. He is coming back home for a visit, but, I'm not sure if his willing to see me after what I've said to him, and yet he’s the one that said we can talk about anything. If Oliver isn't really the one I should be waiting for, do you know who is? I've been single for a long time with on and off relationships & have been broken hearted a lot, to the point that I don't even trust my own heart. I hope you can help me out, It will be greatly appreciated it. Thank You. -Nat
This man is being honest with you; and he is a very nice man who does care for you and has a great deal of affection towards you. However, you did become friends and developed a very positive communication with each other. I feel it is time for more definition about feelings. Never the less, you will be in a very close friendship that can defiantly turn into something more serious by this time next year. We must always remember that the vast majority of successful long term relationships begin with close friendships. I feel you are a very defined individual and happy with who you are and your situation in life. I feel you will be attracted to the same type. A growing relationship will be a process of incorporating into each others lives not giving anything up; this kind of relationship takes time and certainly of feelings; we must remember that successful relationships do not happen over night, they are worked on and developed. The opportunity is going to present itself to you very, very, soon.
Love Questions: Posted October 15th, 2012
Dear James,
My girlfriend who I had been with for four years broke up with me a week ago. We lived together with her family and never really had our own quality time. We had been going to university together full time for 2 years so we were often housebound, doing assignments and studying. We shared the same car so I would often have to call upon her if I needed to go out anywhere. About 2 weeks before taking a break her grandmother died and her father was diagnosed with cancer roughly the same time. I was asked to move out almost as abruptly as she 'needed time and space' to herself, and that I had been 'suffocating' her. I acknowledged any problems and tried to work with her by giving her space. Within a few days the break we were having lead to a break-up and she began seeing another guy. I asked if she still loved me and she said not like before, though she doesn't know what the future holds. She wants to be good friends but at the moment still wants time and space. Throughout the course of the relationship I would always ask her if she was happy with the relationship and whether there was anything wrong. We always said we were each other's soul mates and we have endured a lot together. I am extremely close with the family and had traveled with her overseas to meet her grandparents and biological father. Her family is disappointed about her decision. While it may seem she wants change, I still can't help but think that because of the situation with her grandmother and her dad (and the stress of us) that she overreacted. She believed that things began to fall apart within the last month of our relationship. Is there a chance that we will get back together? -D
Even in a committed relationship, what has occurred with her personally is a pivotal point of a realistic relationship. When an individual goes through a loss if they feel support and genuine concern from their mate, the vast majority of the time it brings the relationship to a more defined or realistic level. When someone does not feel they were understood or supported in a realistic way, they tend to feel distant. I know in your way you want to be a support system to her and to an extent you are. It's very important to remember if you were trying to assist her to move on, she does not want that right now. I feel very strongly you and she will have another chance but it will only be after the holiday season. I also feel that she may be feeling that she could have been a better granddaughter and can be a better daughter. Never the less, she needs to go through the next few weeks alone. This would be a time when you and she need a bit of distance from each other. Try not to be possessive or jealous, believe me her heart is just not ready for that right now.
Hi James,
I was with my sons father for 7 years and we recently broke up. We were having problems for a while because he couldn't stay faithful. He says he loves me and wants to be with me. He says he doesn't want to hurt me. There’s a possibility I could be pregnant and I know having another baby won't make it any better, but I know he is my soul mate. Every time we are together we are always connected but sometimes he stays away. Is he still in love with me? Or is his heart somewhere else? Is there any chance of us getting back together? -M
You and this man desire to live as a man and wife and are going through all the stress with none of the advantages. When a man and woman chose to live together it is usually because thy developed a common view of the future. Seeing just by bonding that thy can accomplish what thy want out of life easier together then alone. It's that common image that needs to be present to hold the marriage or relationship together and make it work, but the first time there is any kind of infidelity, the image is gone, and thus: the relationship. I feel that he does love you and that’s great but it's not good enough to resolve the issue that divides you and he. It will take a lot to regain trust and that is what a relationship is all about.
Dear James,
Last June my current boyfriend of over 3 years went to prison for drug charges. While he was away I met someone named "G", he's also married. We had a fling for close to 4 months. I can say I'm not the type that falls in love easily, if at all but my feelings for him were almost immediate. The connection was something I've never experienced before. Then in December close to the time for my boyfriend to be released, he vanished. I know it was most likely my stubbornness to never contact a man first that caused the relationship to end so abruptly but it ended just the same. And we haven't spoken for almost a year now. Even after all this time he hasn't left my thoughts for a single day. Every time I go out I look for him. Hoping just to get a glimpse of him. He has consumed my thoughts to the point that I confessed my feelings to my current boyfriend and I'm ready to walk away from him. Will I ever run into "G" again? I would take just about anything at this point, even if just to have closure. I ache for this man to be in my life again. How do you see this playing out for us? Thank you! -R
In your situation he is the one that made the biggest mistake, but this does not mean you did not. These types of feelings are exactly why people need to respect their vows to higher power, if not there is a need to accept failure. The feelings are mutual he feels unresolved in your situation. I do not feel he is having any type of problems in his marriage but he is now. The relationship with your boyfriend as well as his marriage is over. We all have thoughts, that is human nature. However, people usually also develop a maturity that makes them aware or other peoples feelings I see the feelings you are going through as being real but not any kind of relationship. He is having enough problems dealing with the guilt.
Love Questions: Posted October 8th, 2012
Dear James,
I have been in a relationship with F since January. He is not much for PDA and I like PDA. F is an argumentative stubborn type (yes, I can be stubborn, too - I know) and always accuses me of "making a scene." It is a difficult relationship, but my feelings are there. We have a lot of arguments - not major, but it's tiring and I don't think I'm argumentative by nature. Maybe he is unconsciously trying to get rid of me in that way. He has friends who are talking against me (although he said he didn't care, he still also spends time with them to give them the chance to say things against me) and there is a lady with whom he grew up and claims is his "true heart." They are not together now although they see each other once in a while. The last time they saw each other was July 4th. Instead of making plans with me, he went to her. Does F really want to be with me and will he be? Thank you for listening. -H
If you and he are at the point of a committed relationship, that is acknowledged by both people concerned, there is no doubt that spending time with another woman is the wrong thing to do when the goal is to seek comfort and ease stress. I feel that he is very insecure about you, and desires for you to also be confused. I really do not see that he has a desire, time, or money to actively engage in another relationship. The real issue is your and his desire to push each others buttons. Acting stubborn or argumenitive is not conducive to a comfortable relationship and will get old very quickly. I feel strongly that he is unsure that you want to remain in the relationship, but providing no indications of his exact wishes, in other words holding on to you. I would advise you and he find a more secure a civil way of communicating if not; I do not feel it will evolve.
Dear James,
There is this guy at my job that I have an extreme crush on ever since the beginning of October of last year. We have been very good friends since then, we joke around all the time, we crack jokes on each other, and we sometime give each other advice. One day while we were at work, me and him were alone at the vending machines and he told me that I am a very good person to be around and that if we ever gotten into an argument or fight, he would never put his hands on me. When he said that to me, it really shined my heart with light. I really like this guy and I want him to just tell me exactly how he feels about me but I don’t know how! The big question is does he really like me and will he ever tell me how he really feels about me when the time and place comes? I am very confused about him. -M.W.
First of all, telling a woman something like that is not really the way to get to know someone. I feel he was reflecting on his own life, not necessarily yours. He is genuinely attracted to you and you and he would take to each other very quickly. To have something of this nature occurring at work is tempting; it makes the day more interesting and working with each other is very, very convenient however; it is not a good idea. I would advise you to get to know him a lot better than you do. A compliment is nice, but really only words. You will be seeing changes occurring within the next three weeks.
Dear James,
Let me start by saying that I haven't had much luck in the love department. I find myself being to trusting and they seem to take advantage of that. After all of the times that I've been hurt, I was almost ready to give up on love. There is this girl named L. She was training at my branch for a couple of weeks. I got the impression that she was interested in me by the way she looked and talked to me. Before I could do anything, she was transferred to another branch that I don't go to. About a year went by, then back in March, she was transferred back to my branch where she has been ever since. I still get the impression that she is interested, but I sense a little distance every now and then. I don't know if it is nerves or what. My question is do you think she is interested in being more than just friends? Thanks, Jeff
She is use to getting attention, but within her work environment she has a desire to be professional and perceived in that way. I feel that she considers you to be a very nice man. I would advise you to be yourself and when the time is right ask her to lunch or coffee. When you get to know each other a little better, you will find is she is open to more. You might want to be more of a support system to her in the beginning because her last attempt at a relationship did not go so well. I do feel that a relationship is possible, but you need to be sure that she wants that too. Halloween night for you two could be very special, if you work it out together.
Love Questions: Posted October 1st, 2012
Dear James,
I have been in a relationship for 8 months. I love this man and would love to help him as much as I can. He has not been giving me the attention that he used to. He started pushing me away since July. We have ended our relationship but we still talk occasionally. Is there any hope in our relationship? Is he choosing to ignore me? I keep making mistakes regarding love and I am not sure what my mistakes are. Was it entirely my fault that this relationship came to an end? Why do I feel that I was not important to him? Should I leave him alone? -Chahal
If you genuinely feel that this was your mistake, you are wrong. I feel very strongly that you are trying to see the cause of this situation by taking it apart, or looking at the dynamics of the relationship. What I mean exactly is looking at the details, past conversations, shared activities, and also environmental circumstances. If you are doing this to arrive at some sort of understanding; it will leave you frustrated because this would not be his reason. You have always made this man feel special, your attention to him and your interest in his life, has always and still is a great compliment to this man; and this is because he sees you as a very accomplished woman; independent, accomplished, beautiful and available, but mostly very independent, and of course his desire was to impress you in all ways. It is never a good idea to borrow or lend money early on in a relationship, it interferes always. This whole situation is about him not being able to be the knight in shining armor to you. He has and still feels unimpressive to you. He is also feeling that he would never be able to give you what you deserve or want out of life; so you see things are not really about you or your kindness. This would be the reason analyzing the time together will leave you frustrated; it is really about how he views himself and his situation in life. If you make no attempt to contact him, in any way, he will open up to you and initiate contact with in two weeks. He really does not want to be apart from you. Let him think and define things for a while and he will develop the strength to handle his situation.
Hi James,
My ex girlfriend and I broke up a while back. She recently started contacting me and wanting to see me but I feel that she is hiding something from me. So I told her that if she is keeping secrets, we should go our separate ways. I really love and adore this girl. Is she my soulmate or maybe will we end for good this time? -J
I do feel the love you have for each other, but you are correct that secrets are not conducive to a successful relationship from either party concerned. What I am talking about is a secret that would be active and have potential to hurt someone, not things from the past that are over and better left alone. I do not feel that she has any harmful secret going on, but I do feel that she is caught up in a catch 22 situation; If she overly explains or even trys, it will seem more intense and important then things really are. If she says nothing and is uninfected it will appear she is hiding some thing, and she is really not. Never the less if this relationship can not handle this minor issue, you wont last any way. However, I see resolving this issue will definitely make you stronger as a couple, and also individually. I see the choice as being yours.
Dear James,
My ex of 7 years and I have been separated for two years now, and even though we have both had relationships since then, it seems as though we have this unbreakable bond between us. We talk almost every day, sometimes just to talk. We have somehow transformed into best friends. Is there a chance that we will ever get back together? -Cathy
This kind of situation is far more common then you would think and I am certain he also has similar thoughts. I also feel very intensely that as friends you can talk and interact verbally in a way that is valuable two you both; because of concern and time you have spent with each other and feel for each other, you and he both can tell how each of you feels just by hearing each others voice. I do feel he is being very hard on himself, and to an extent is punishing himself by being not as involved with you as he would like. It is very important for you to see what he is attempting to say with his current behavior. Generally I would say he is holding on to you, but this is more intense then that. There is a genuine love that has been established between you two and the chances of you and he giving a acknowledged relationship another try, I feel is only a matter of about three months.
Love Questions: Posted September 24th, 2012
Dear James,
Will my ex husband and I reunite after 20 years of divorce? I very much regret this decision I made long ago. However, he has moved on and remarried. I have been missing him. I don't think that he is happy in his marriage. I thank you ahead of time for your answer to this tormenting question.
-V
I know you probably do not agree with this, but you and he are extremely compatible with each other astrologically and this I am sure had a lot to do with you and he finding each other in the first place. We always must remember that being astrologically compatible is only a head start but defiantly not a guarantee. I feel very strongly that you and he had a very strong spiritual bonding with each other at one time, you will always care about one another. If you really care about him I would advise that you do not interfere with his new relationship, wish him the best, if you can. The past is the best predictor of the future, and my feelings tell me you and he will run into each other throughout your life, and when people establish a love for each other there is always a chance. But right now, according to these circumstances this is not the right time for you to feel this way. I do also feel that the circumstances of your divorce have not really been dealt with in a way that would solve your and his issues. He has moved on with his life and the best thing for you to do is to also move on.
Dear James,
I am a single mom having great difficulty trying to get a job within day care hours. I have been applying everywhere within my field and out of it and have not gotten any calls! The company I worked for 13 years prior won't even hire me back because of my availability. Any advise?
-K
Your key to success in this area is one on one interviews, and the best way for this to happen is cold calling. I would also advise you to use the yellow pages as a reference. When you make contact, introduce yourself and express your interest in the company. You will not only receive one opportunity but three within the next two months. Be prepared for a face to face interview, and be sure to mention how much you like working with others. Lastly I would like to tell you that your success is assured, be sure to let me know how things are working for you.
Dear James.
My husband has recently told me he loves me and misses me but that he feels he needs to be free to find himself. Is this marriage over? He claims there is no one else and that he just has a lot of issues he is dealing with. To me it can’t be true love if he wants to work apart. Are we over? Do I need to forget him and all we shared and promised? I’m heartbroken. He was my true love.
-Angie
The origins of his current state of mind is not the marriage or you directly, I do understand your broken heart and disappointment; this is very unfair to the family. Everybody at one time or another has that thought (I want to get away from every body and every thing) however, very few people really go through with the actual leaving. I do feel he is being honest with you but he has never been intending to stay away - only run away. He still has the confidante that the people he loves are safe, and where he can talk to any time he wants to. He will want to come back home, I feel in about two months. I would advise when he returns, to seek out counseling in one way or another, then I would advise to participate together as a couple. The marriage is not over but needs to move to a higher level and, this will be easier then it sounds.
Love Questions: Posted September 10th, 2012
Dear James,
My husband is hurting me badly but I'm not sure the real reason. I think he's having emotional affairs, also was on Dating sites. Now he tells me it over. Will he see past this and come back to me? Is my marriage over? -D
Yes for now it would be over; the image which you and he established as a couple, and manifested your desire to go through life as a couple, would be very faded if not gone altogether. You and he love each other very much and are both disappointed by what’s going on with your marriage. I could go on and on about how the online dating and social web sites have disrupted established relationships, the way I see this is on-line dating is like actual dating, when you are focused or in love with one person and want to demonstrate your affection, you do not continue or initiate new relationships; this is defiantly not conducive to a successful relationship or marriage. I do feel your marriage is able to be saved, and I do not see one of you as being the primary cause, but it would be both of you equally, that will save your marriage. He is very confused and embarrassed by all of this and does not know how to react; you would be angry and feel the same as when infidelity occurs. I do not feel you can solve things on your own, there is a need for counseling, and I do see counseling working for you and he; when the love between two people is as strong as yours All things are possible. As I mentioned before you will succeeded.
Dear James,
This year I met someone who responded to a post I made online. His name is James and I adore him a lot. I haven't seen him since the end of May and lately he's been very distant and not responsive at all. I thought he really liked me and now I don’t know what to think. I'm trying to be very positive but it’s a bit hard. I feel he left with nothing to say. Should I just leave him alone as well? Or wait a bit longer? ~Brie
You and he like each others personalities very much, and I feel the desire to continue the process is present within both of you. First of all if you are searching within yourself to arrive at an understanding, it will leave you feeling kind of frustrated. We always need to remember the concern is the first expression of love, not romance; I sense that is doing this on purpose, not to be viewed as an uncaring person, but to see what your reaction will be, anger, worry, concern. You and this man are moving kind of quickly and I would advise you and he to slow down a bit and get to know each other better. You are both nice people and have a great potentional for success, but you need to let him know that you would like a more defined and regular kind a communication with each other. Believe me, he will take this as concern and a great compliment. Slowing down does not mean talking or communicating less it means putting more emphases on esthetic commonalities; in other words have fun and enjoy the friendship; and also remember a good friendship is where lasting relationships come from. Give him two days.
Dear James,
Hi my name is Amber and I am dating a older man that is a kid a heart. We have been dating for almost 3 months now. So far things are ok but I would like to pursue something serious. He is a pretty good caught but both him and I are very cautious because we've been hurt. I'm just curious when or will we have a serious/healthy relationship? -Amber
There will be nothing stopping you and he from furthering your friendship or should I say perspective relationship. This man already sees his situation with you as being workable. He has also received a message from you, that age does not matter and all situations are workable. You have entered a very realistic aspect of your situation with each other. Right now the perceived barriers are creating a more intense relationship, You give this man a lot of joy and a very positive view of the future, and I feel you receive the same feelings from his influence on your self-esteem. I must be honest; on the short term you have a have a head start, but even though the age difference does not seem to be important, it will be in the long term. If he is over nine years older it will be not be easy, if not don’t worry the certainty will evolve.
Love Questions: Posted September 2nd, 2012
Dear James,
I'm at a crossroads as to which direction in my life I should go as far as love and relationships. Over two years ago I split from my boyfriend of 12 years. He was my true first love, my first heartbreak. We dated all of my adult life, but had issues when it came to values and goals in life. He had a drug problem and it got in the way of our growth as a couple. We battled with that issue and also the fact that we were struggling to have children together. He end up in legal trouble a couple years ago and it has now forced him to be clean. During this time I met a guy named J who had a patchy past but I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. We tried to embark on a relationship and ended up falling in love with one another. He and I both had trust issues from past relationships but I think that I was willing to make more changes than he was. He told me I was the first woman in nearly 20 years that he had felt so madly in love with, but eventually he began displaying behaviors that he did in the past. Resorting back to his ex when we had disagreements and seeking comfort in other women. He always accused me of being with other men. I'll admit that I was no angel in the beginning, but once we really decided to become an item I put my best foot forward. We ended up breaking up 3 weeks ago, he's back with an ex. My question is where do you see me relationship wise? There are several other men interested in pursuing a relationship with me, but I hold back. I don't want to make a bad decision. I love both J and Floyd, my problem with Floyd is knowing whether or not him and I could ever have children together? I know we can be happy if so. As far as J he was my second heartbreak. I know he can give me a family but giving me all of him is the problem. What do I do?
-Endia
First of all, having a child or children will not make the relationship better or more defined, even though having children is a blessing, it will not make the relationship more workable, it will add complications to an already undefined affection. The thought of children can only occur, or should occur when the commitment has already been made and both parties are ready and in agreement; if not, it will complicate any relationship. Children are beloved and very nice in a family situation, but I am sure you know its not easy to raise a child correctly. When a couple are insecure about each other, or with each other in a possessive or jealous way, the situation will become detrimental and only harm a child in the long run. I feel you will find the one who will be the person you imagine; and also sees the future in a similar to you( it will take almost a year). You will be better off and more content when this decision is made naturally, and not pressured or allow children to be the main focus of a relationship, not in the beginning. I advise to correctly bond with some one in a realistic situation. With an enjoyable and mutually supportive relationship, the bonding process will naturally get to that point; but it is the developed and worked on relationship that will ultimately let you know when you and the man involved are ready and enthusiastic about the correct time to discuss children. We always must remember it is a decision between two people not one persons vision, but a vision shared by two. You are a nice person and would make a wonderful mother; in an already established relationship. You will meet this man as a result of an endeavor that touches your hart, it could be gardening, or music or even pursuing your faith.
Dear James,
I met R last year. We chatted and found many things in common. He gave me his phone number in a friendly way. After that day, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I fought not to contact him. The problem is I'm married and so is he. I ended up sending him a friendly text, as we texted eachother he expressed how he felt towards me and so did I. I fell for his sweet words, but he refuses to see me, says he is unhappy in his marriage and we can't be together just yet. We stopped communicating for a while, now he is back again. Same story, he says that I'm the one, that he can't stop thinking about me blah blah. Wanted to know if he is playing with my feelings? Does he have any feelings towards me like he says? I'm confused.
-Amal
Yes he does have guanine feelings toward you, and being that you are both married, you and he will feel more drawn to each other. People always want what they can not have or are not suppose to have. The true victims of this situation are your spouses, I do feel you will eventually be with each other and I do feel you deserve each other. But I advise you and he do not blame your families. If you and he are ready to walk away from your families for each other please do not hurt any one in the process, you need to stand up as a woman and he as a man and do what you feel, but to be very honest I don’t feel you or he are prepared or serious about each other. I would advise to not let a little flirting become something it is not...It is very possible that you will hurt someone who realistically loves you.
Love Questions: Posted August 26th, 2012
Dear James,
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 months. We had a strong attraction for each other right away and every day our feelings grew stronger and stronger for each other. Unfortunately, there has been a couple of fights for stupid reasons but he does not like drama and now wants to end the relationship. I on the other hand want to put it in the past and try to avoid it happening again. I love this man so much. He has brought so much happiness into my life. He is the best man I have ever been with and I know he loves me too and the way I make him feel. But because of the fights he feels he's heading into a bad situation that’s only going to get worse. I know what I need to do and I want one more chance and I pray he gives it to me. Can you please guide me with the right answer? -J
I feel that he is extremely serious about the drama. It is way too early to effectively comment on an uncomfortable situation or start the relationship on a negative note; believe me it happens but not in the bonding phase. The object is to establish a comfort level with each other, not the opposite. This man likes you very much and has a lot of fun spending time together with you, but he also wants you to enjoy the time you spend with each other; being in a worrisome mood or negative expressions would show him the opposite, that you are not enjoying yourself. You and he will have another chance, this time be yourself an optimist.
Dear James,
?I've been divorced for about a year and a half. My question is not about that but about and old friend that I grew up with; he is very interested in me. Trouble is he lives 3000 miles away. He's coming for a visit so that we can spend some time together. I was wondering if this is the right person for me. Should I take this advance into this relationship? -Dianna
This can develop into something more than a friendship very fast; a romantic relationship can be very intense between you and he. I do not perceive any barriers except for distance, and the distance itself, can be dealt with effectively if given time and if you and he are secure with yourselves. Long distance can be very emotionally intense. The anticipation creates a desire. This can work out for you and he, but I would advise that you take things slowly. If the current distance or plans for the future come up to soon, you will scare each other away. You and he will succeed if you allow the common image of the future to develop naturally, according to the laws of nature. This man is going to very taken by you.
Hi James.
I was engaged to be married and my fiancé came to my country for us to finalize the arrangements as well as spousal permit applications. Bad things happened behind my back that involved my family and my fiancé went back to his home country and he broke off our engagement. He asked me to decide whether I want to be with him or not. He kept telling me he loved me very much and I believe he does but now, 2 months later, I found out that his family is also trying to drive a wedge between us. I miss him so much and told him that I want to be with him. Please tell me whether you feel that we will get through this and reconcile again. I am afraid that his family is pressuring him to forget about me. Will I be with him again? Like I said this split only happened two months ago but they (the families and cultural differences) have an enormous influence on us. He is a difficult person and does not share his feelings and when he is contemplating the future like he does now, he shuts me out to an extent. Do you see this changing at all? If so, when? I don't think I can handle this on my own much longer but I don't want to give up on him either. We have been through a lot and I know the love is still there. -Carol
You are right, the love is there and stronger then ever. In some cultures being in a committed relationship is extremely important; it has financial, social, and long-term importance not only to the couple involved but also the family. I feel that you and he just all of a sudden presented the relationship, and the intensity of your feelings for each other to your families; and of course you and he both caught your families by surprise. Above all else your families love you and do not want you or he to act to soon, or be unprepared. Once your family and also his see that you truly love each other they will attempt to understand. His family and yours want you to be happy, and not have to worry that this relationship will not take you or he away from your important family life. He will contact you with some good news within the next week, news that will give hope for the future, and this will make you and he very happy.
Love Questions: Posted August 19th, 2012
Dear James,
My Ex keeps coming back into my life and he says he loves me but I'm not sure what to do. He is in AZ helping a friend and I am holding all his things until he comes back. Should I just walk away from him? He left me in a very cruel way, and it's hard to forget. He is the love of my life and I feel he is my soul mate. We never fought, did everything together 24/7 and he left to go back to his kids mom and that cost him our home and everything he owned is gone! All he has left is what I have. Should I wait for him or move on? Thank you.
-Robin
It is a common strategy to leave something of importance at a location that a person has left when it involves a breakup or separation. His motivation was to have a reason to interact with you; and what this demonstrates is an uncertainty about his actions. Even though I feel he did this in a completely inappropriate way, I do feel it was not about you, but about obligations and responsibilities that he did not tend to when he should have. Things have a way of catching up to a person, and I feel this is what happened. He does love you, just as you love him. If he were legally obligated to financially take responsibility, this would explain his actions. You will always love each other, however he has made a decision to move on and try to repair issues that he has ignored. I would advise you to do the same where he is concerned; he like every one must deal with the consequences of his actions. It is impossible to completely move on when you love someone, but you need more honest information and a realistic explanation about what occurred, and you will not get that information any time soon, because he is not completely sure of his actions, he is only positive that he hurt you by his actions. With in four months he will attempt to return to you; but you must think twice and three times before you even consider reconciliation.
Dear James,
What is going on with my love with M? Is there a chance that we are going to get back together? What kind of problems is he going through?
-T.
I feel very strongly that he has not been doing as well career wise as he feels he should be. Certain people will use systematic elimination to deal with issues, and I feel this is what he is doing. He feels that if he showed more attention to his career or source of income, that he would not have this problem. So in effect he would be in the process of eliminating certain distractions in his life (This is very common for his astrological sing Aries) this man revolves around control, not of other people, but of himself. With in the next three weeks you and he will have the opportunity to discus the way he is dealing with things. Even now he misses your company and emotional support.
Hi James.
I was wondering why some days I think of my ex constantly, and some days I don't. I wonder if it is because he is thinking about me. How do I know if it is caused by to the "cord" that connected us when we swapped energy in our relationship. I had a very bad ending with this person, his parents asked us to break up and we both didn't want to. We haven't spoken since, but I am looking for guidance about what to do about this. I miss him very much, and want to tell him I am sorry for the pain I caused him in our relationship. Thank you.
-H.E.H.
This man does not see you as being the cause of any pain. You and he have shared the same activities, the same discussion and the same love. I also feel that he is a little embarrassed about how your relationship ended. We need to remember this was not his decision; it was the wish of his parents. If you and he are being forced not to see each other, its not going to work, you and he both will become more motivated towards each other. He fully understands how hurt you are and he feels bad about this. He loves you very much and feels he let you down. This relationship is not over. I feel he will attempt to contact you when he feels it is safe, he is only waiting for the right time. Within a month you will see things differently, just remember this was not his decision and not because you caused him any sort of pain, quite the opposite. I can see he is a nice person and does not want to make anyone feel uncomfortable; this includes you and his parents, who he respects a lot.
Love Questions: Posted August 13th, 2012
Dear James,
I am so ready to find new love but it seems like I am still stuck on my ex. When exactly will this new love come in and how will I know it's real. I really don't want be hurt again. My last ex put me through a lot. I feel as if I'm ready to love again. -R.T.
There is affection and a spiritual bonding between two people in a relationship. We must always remember that a spiritual bonding can never be broken, only become weaker or stronger as we move on with life. There will always be disappointment when our plans do not work out. The person that will be compatible to you and possess the same image of the future, will enter your life before the end of summer. You will recognize him by his devotion to ecology, he will also have a preference for out door activities, boating, camping, etc. He has never been married and spent a lot of time in the military. You will meet at a carnival or fair.
Dear James,
My ex girlfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago. For the first couple months, I still occasionally talked to her and saw her. Every time she sees me, she still shows affection and told me she loved me but doesn't want to get back together, saying she wants to go out and have fun and doesn't want to be tied down in the relationship. The last 2-3 weeks I gave her space by not talking to her or going to see her. Now she's saying that she's falling for her guy best friend, who always hangs around with her and has told her that he likes her while she was in the relationship with me. Will we get back together? Or should I try to forget her and move on? If we will get back together, when will that happen? And will our relationship be stronger and last? Or will we end up breaking up again?
-Jeff
If she is so easily swayed, she may not be the right person for you. Entering a committed relationship is something that must be worked on, or should I say a work in progress. She would not tell you she was interested in another, if she did not want you to know. I feel very strongly that this woman does not know exactly what she wants and she is being honest with you. A relationship should not be hurtful and complicated, and if it is, there is something wrong. I feel also that there will be another chance for you and she, but right now I feel you and she need distance from each other; after gaining perspective the situation will change for the better. However, you and she may be on different levels in how you define a relationship. The first step is to have a healthy and positive communication with each other, and this will happen after you and she take a little break from each other.
Dear James,
I am embarking in the final move to be together with my fiancé; he is leaving from another state to marry me. Is there always going to be this game of control and be controlled between his ex-wife and himself? I say this because I feel he is addicted to having her in his life even if it is in the form of fighting about their daughter. When I voice my opinions about the manipulative behavior and controlling interactions, my fiancé doesn't want to tell me anything. Mostly, he tells me what he thinks I want to hear. I still feel I want to free myself of this lifetime of a three-some situation. I want a love of my very own not someone's left over man. Help me please to see what is really going on.
-Olga
His behavior and attitude is not about his ex-wife; it is about his child. I do not feel there’s any lingering feelings between him and his ex. It makes sense that his ex-wife wants for him and their child to have a good and supportive relationship with each other, and of course he loves his child. A lot of times people like being married but get to the point where they do not necessarily like the person they are married to. His desire to see his child should not threaten you in any way. However, I would suggest you attempt to understand him. If you support his efforts to be responsible it will create an unbreakable bond between you and he. There is no need to be insecure about this, but if you still are going with him when he sees his child, if this is not your desire, trust is called for. After all he does love you very much.
Love Questions: Posted August 6th, 2012
Dear James,
My boyfriend, J, and I were together for nearly 9 months, were very much in love, and were planning on getting married and having a family. 5 months ago, however, John felt like we were having too many arguments, and not getting along, so he broke it off. I was devastated. Since that time, he has been saying that we need space from each other, yet he says no to any attempt I make to give it to him. I try not to call or contact him in order to give him space. Since our breakup, he has done the sweetest things for me, like taking me home and helping me move in. Sometimes it seems as if he still has feelings for me, deep down. I feel like this man is still the one I'm supposed to be with - forever and always. Please, is there any hope of us reconciling, and does he have any feelings for me at all? What can I do?
Many people, because of there strong and deep feelings, will look into the future with someone very easily and this is a wonderful and very natural thing to do; however when these thoughts and feelings are put into words they tend to shock the other person involved, and when someone is shocked or caught by surprise they will react in one of two ways (Fight or flight response) I feel very strongly that you surprised this man by the way you love him, and how you do see a future together. You have to admit, that is a lot to put on a person. This man does love you and you know that, he is only standing back a little to gain a proper perspective. You and he do see things in a similar way (traditional relationships) and will definitely get to that point quickly, but it is very that you and he work up to that point. It is kind of a shock to look to far into the future for a lot of people; some times it seems so unattainable. One very positive thing about your situation is, he knows how you feel and he is still around; essentially he agrees with you. Within three weeks you and he will be back on track, I advise you to take things slow and easy, let the pieces fall together naturally, it wont take long.
Dear James,
Me and my ex broke up in September 2011 and I am still having a hard time getting over him. I recently found out that he could possibly be the father of another woman's baby. I do not know what to do. I love him so much and I do not want to be with anyone else. What do you see in the future for us? Will we get back together?
You and he have always been in romantic love, which is fantastic. I am not saying that you and he did not genuinely love each other only that you did not evolve to a realistic relationship. He right now is attempting to live a realistic life (a child will do this to a person) he does have a lot of important things to accomplish. Being that you do love him I know you want him to be happy and try to find the life he wants. You and this man will always be friends however; I feel that this is not the time to try to repair the past. You are a free spirit, its essential that you allow you self to feel good. There a lot of opportunities that are going to continue to enter your life (for the next four months) but to take advantage of these opportunities, or see them, you cannot be preoccupied with this issue.
Dear James,
I contacted an old h.s. crush last year. We've known each other basically our entire lives. The issue is I believe I expected so much from him. I wanted him to fix things & make me happy. I believe it was entirely too much to put in him especially since he has his own life & issues to deal with. A few months ago he went from saying sweet things to pulling away within a matter of days. Do you know why he pulled away &they will he ever make contact again?
I feel this man wanted a friend not a client. Making someone responsible for creating a happiness in your life never works, you yourself are the only one who can accomplish this on a permanent basis. Many people get close to each other by talking about past or current problems in there life; now this creates something to talk about, but when it is the primary focus of a friendship or a relationship it becomes to heavy or uncomfortable. I know you were only trying to create conversation, but I feel it overwhelmed him. He pulled away to allow you to find you self, and to overcome any insecurities you may have about yourself and others. You will communicate again, but this time try a different approach. Confidence in your self is very attractive and will make you the person that you know you are.
Love Questions: Posted July 30th, 2012
Dear James,
My daughter is married to a mentally unstable person. She didn’t see this coming before the marriage Like he has two personality. Some days she loves him some days he drives her crazy. They have a baby now. Where do you this relationship going? D.L.
There are several types and varying intensities to any type of mental illness. To categorize any issue of this type is the realm and distinction of a licensed professional. If this man is under a professionals care; all involved are aware of this fact (extreme mood swings are considered to be personality disorders), now if he is just acting unusual, this may have nothing to do with his behavior, never the less this judgment is only your observation. We always need to remember the intricacies of a relationship are only completely known by the two people involved, remember this is not a girl friend boy friend type of situation, they are married. I would advise you to be a support system to her that is all. All marriages have ups and downs, (Adam and Eve had problems also) it is the process itself that can make things better. Some of the most inelegant and accomplished people have been diagnosed with various types and intensities of mood disorders. For example Depression is considered to be the common cold of mental illness, every body goes through it in there life. If a problem lasts for longer then three months continuously, and interferes with a persons normal activities, then and only through diagnoses it is considered to be a disorder. I feel the cause of there tension is the environment, they will succeed in there marriage, and they love each other and there baby very, very much (having a new baby in your life is not easy, a child is a blessing and a gift to be nurtured) Please try not to worry so much about your daughter (easier said the done) she is a strong woman and can handle stresses in life, with the love they have for each other, they will succeed. If you or she are worried about him, advise him to see a doctor, but always remember it takes two to tango.
- James
Dear James,
I met my ex girlfriend back in July 2011. This was approx 6 weeks after her mum died. We started seeing each other for a couple of months before we decided to start a relationship in October 2011. Everything was good until Feb this year when she decided (out of the blue) to break up. She then started seeing someone else, but didn't last long. I still have strong feelings for her and believe she does also. I spoke to her face to face in June which was good. At the end I gave her a big long cuddle and it felt she didn't want to let go. Now and again I receive messages from her which I believe have hidden meanings. I believe I need to be patient with her as I think she is confused. Any information or guidance would be much appreciated. - G.A.
You not only developed a loving relationship with each other, you assisted her through a very hard time. To an extent you talked to her and she opened up to you about how she was feeling, you helped her to cope and in the process you fell in love with each other. Its not you she is avoiding it is the uncomfortable feeling of loss. You and she developed an honest and sensitive relationship, during the process of starting to heal. I feel she does love you for a lot of different reasons; the primary reason is that you stood by her in a difficult situation, she will always love you for this. I would advise to try to start a new a different relationship. There has been enough tears, it is time for enjoyment and to create the memories that cause you and she to feel joy and fun. Now when she is with you it brings up the memories of sadness, about the time you helped her through. If you and she enjoy being with each other and have fun, these are feelings she will identify you with. Keep trying, It will work, but only in her time.
- James
Dear James,
In the 6.5 years my boyfriend j & I have been living together. I found out he was talking to s. (a Sagittarius). The other night, there was a text from j.'s closest sibling. It even had "his" picture under "his" name! However, he would never text j, "why didn't you respond to my text last night? U make me feel like the ugly girl at the dance :( " I almost vomited. J. hadn't responded. How could he? He was with me all day. S. disguised in j.'s cell as his brother texted again: " where are you??" No response from j. S. then typed, "are u @ work?" No response. Then she put, "hello?" As in she's thinking, "j. responds to me all the time & very rapidly so what the heck is going on?" So i texted her "I’m at my mom's. Wanna come over?" That was where j. and i were. At that moment j. bangs on the door. "do you have my phone? Open the door, now!!!" I opened the door, handed it to him & said I’m breaking up w/ you." He said he could explain everything & that i would be the one apologizing for making a scene at his mom's house. Is he cheating on me w/ s. or anyone else? He claims out of the dozens of girlfriends he's had, i'm "the only one he's never cheated on." Even if he's not having sex, of course any emotional cheating in not okay. He refuses to order his cell phone/text records. I am not the suspicious or jealous type at all. - clb
First of all living together for so long, this would be considered to be a marriage, by the law in many states and most important god. It is your common image of the future that made your and his decision to live together. It is that common image that was holding you and he together, and fueling you life together. This image is now gone, when that common image is no longer there, the relationship or marriage is over. If you and he love each other enough there is a chance (just remember love does not pay the bills) I advise you and he to grow up and understand that you may not be ready for a committed relationship, the way things are going you and he could get into trouble. Relationships are not supposed to make you feel angry and out of control. If you and he want to try to have a peaceful existence with each other; it is necessary to let go of petty jealousies: if not let it go before things get to out of hand, love must be natural not forced. Never the less you and he as a couple need to decide what you really want. I feel he just enjoys the insecurities and jealousy you are going through, is it worth it? You not only he have a long way to go, you must be in agreement about what you want, if not; it is a waste of your and his time.
- James
Love Questions: Posted July 22nd, 2012
Dear James,
My ex boyfriend and I keep connecting after 30 years. Are we really meant to be together? We both have been married and divorced. During those marriages we were sexually together. We can go months or years and not see each other but we both say we long for the other. I think I am ready to try to reunite but I am concerned he may not be. He has been married 3 times and says it’s because he can't get over me. I truly love him but don’t want to be a fool. I am also concerned what others will think of me going back to him. It’s not just the sex, which is awesome, we can sit for hours and just talk or hold each other. How do u know what’s right? - R.D.
The comfort and ease of your long-term relationship with this man, has been engraved and imprinted within your and his mind, body and spirit; in other words, you and he have experienced the joys and pleasures of an uncomplicated relationship, or love. I feel he is a very smart man, and I am certain that he knows having a wife and a girlfriend cannot work. You and he have bonded in a realistic way; at least the feelings are real. This seems to have worked for a while and when this occurs within a relationship, the evolution of a spiritual banding people must be unique to each other and be in agreement about this for growth to occur. I feel you will not be able to change him; he needs to have the desire to do this because of his love for you and your relationship. This man is very accustomed to the way things are and to change drastically may be difficult; this is where the power and strength come in. You must be willing to go by your words and what you feel in your heart to active what you want. Changes are not easy but they are essential to your goal. To start he does love you more then he realizes, and I do feel a unique and good relationship is entirely possible. If you stay true to your heart I feel you and he will see eye to eye within the next four months. But remember; there cannot be any third party influence, and try not to let his confusion be yours.
- James
Dear James,
About a month ago I met this guy that I was immediately attracted to. I have never had this happen to me. One look into his eyes and I was SOLD. It felt like I had known him forever, like we were met to be. Since then things haven’t advanced much between us. We started dating but never slept with each other. Before things got serious he told me he needed to slow down and since then we are just friends and rarely talk, but I can’t stop thinking about him. Do u ever see us in any kind of relationship other than friends? What does he think about me? Thank you. – R.P.
This man is extremely complimented by your attention. However, you do not know him well enough to make assumptions about his life. There is a lot about a person we cannot tell just by looking, physical attraction is what usually draws people to each other, but that is only an introduction nothing else. I feel that developing a relationship depends on a well-established friendship first. I also do not perceive any barriers. It’s important that you pay attention to what he says abut baggage, you can assist him with this as a friend right now not a girl friend. So I would suggest you give this time.
- James
Dear James,
I am in desperate need of help. I have had strong feelings for C. I've called so many psychics that I've lost count. They all tell me yes she does feel the same but when I'm around her nothing happens. I’ve given her so many hints and clues and still nothing. She has now found a boyfriend and I get so jealous and angry its like does she feel the same why doesn't she like me? -J.M.V.
I sense that she really enjoys that you feel the way you do. She enjoys the attention of your desire, and this is why you and she have maintained your communication. There is not very much you do not know about her, there is less to the content of her personality then you realize. She knows how you feel about her, and about her having a boyfriend. What I see is a situation which can get out of hand and hurt someone feelings; I advise that you do not allow this to occur. To her this is a game, to you it’s serious. Try to be a little less predictable to her. If you want to express your frustration to her effectively, the most expressive way is to be inexpressive. Move on, at least for a little while; she will know why.
- James
Love Questions: Posted July 9th, 2012
Dear James,
I have recently been questioning my relationship with "M." He and I have been friends for about 7 years and have been through so much together. We have been best friends and roommates throughout the years, and have both witnessed the other go through good relationships as well as bad ones and have been there for each other through it all. Outsiders always assume there is more to our relationship than being friends but we have never taken it to that level. I'm starting to question myself and ask whether or not we would make sense at that level. His last girlfriend hated me because she saw how close we are and how protective he was of me while I was in an abusive relationship with someone else. Anybody I try to date gets jealous of him as well. It's all so confusing. Should we see where a committed relationship takes us? I think we are both hesitant because we don't want to risk our friendship. With him being an Aries and myself being a Sagittarius we should be soul mates but he drives me crazy sometimes and it makes me not want to get involved with him romantically. Any advice? -R.P.
It’s very natural to feel this way; you and this man know each other very well, in a very realistic way. It’s not easy to live with somebody that long with out having a great deal of caring, and this arrangement has worked out for you and he up to this point. If you mean being exclusive with each other, when you say committed, I do feel it can work out well; you and he defiantly have a head start. I also feel strongly that if you and he remember that your friendship is the corner stone of your relationship, it will evolve. Another reason I do see a successful and happy relationship is that, he feels exactly the same way. I would advise that you and he both do not let outside influences interfere with your happiness. Always remember that the people who love you and also, the people who love and care about him, will make their judgments of any changes, based on how you and he look with each other, rather then by what you say.
Dear James,
I've met “C” online and we've been talking everyday he lives in Pittsburg and I in California. He's sending for me next week so we can meet. We feel good together but I was wondering if this relationship would be lasting. - S.C.
“C” I feel has every intention of continuing your friendship and this feeling will intensify after your meeting. His major point of expectation is only that you will like him. I feel that the feeling of being connected to each other will also intensify and this is great, but there must be no barriers in the way of another man or woman, no matter what the condition of the situation. The reason is I feel that you and this man will establish a common view of the future, very quickly. As far as the distance, I do not see this being a major issue, not yet. There will definitely be a noticeable change as a result of your meeting each other, very pleasant changes.- James
Dear James,
My ex (we were together almost 5 years) slept with one of my close friends, it was supposedly a one time mistake, but I found out they are still seeing each other. I've told him how much I love him, and want him back, and he says he will take that into consideration. He won't even see me in person since this happened and I don't know what to do. We had separated to work on our issues and get back together, but now I think I lost him for good. I don't know what to do. Will he come back? Is it worth it? - M.P.
First of all I feel your pursuing this in a completely wrong way. You should not forget that he is the one who created this change, if you were the one who did something to end the relationship, and then I would say that you have some where to start, but it’s really not that way. If you posses a feeling of betrayal towards him and your friend believe me, a lot of people would feel the same way. This feeling of rejection will change very quickly for you, and within the next month, you will feel very differently about this issue. Even though this is a rough situation for you right now, in the not so distant future you will see that this is to your advantage.- James
Love Questions: Posted July 9th, 2012
Dear James,
I been in a two year relationship with my sons father. We broke up a few months ago and now I'm in another relationship. I'm happy so far, I love him, and he says he really loves me but sometimes I think he's afraid to show it in front of certain people. For an example, he would post statuses about me on face book then delete them. Can you tell me the result of my love life? - A.
I strongly feel that you and this man are very compatible with each other, but moving very quickly. He is also well aware that there was an established family situation, weather you and your X were married or not others did perceive you and he as a married couple. Between you and you X there is a lot of unfinished issues, or I should say unresolved issues, the most important is the child. You and this man are moving into reality very quickly. He loves you very much but really does not know how things are going to turn out. He would prefer to take things a little more slowly, and to evolve with each other naturally and enjoy the new person in his life; I think he is totally right for him, you are use to a more realistic sort of situation, and he knows this. The issue of showing affection in front of others is only because you and he really just met and not entirely established your comfort level to that extent, yet. Once you and he establish new experiences and memories, things will become more defined. The confusing adding and deleting of status is for your benefit, it demonstrates his not knowing where you and he are at (just like you) or going. He is leaving things open. I advise sharing a good comedy, a game, or a very good concert. All you need to do is to start enjoying the relationship; he defiantly intends to continue the relationship with you, if that is what you desire.
- James
Dear James,
My boyfriend of 5 years, K, moved out a month ago saying that he loves me but that we are not compatible. I'm very much in love with him and feel that he is always supposed to be in my life so I'm having a hard time letting go and trying to move on. Do you see any possibility for us to get back together in a long-term romantic relationship? - A.J.
He did not necessarily mean that you were the reason for the perceived incompatibility it takes two people to succeeded or fail, I feel this is only his way of taking a break. It’s fairly impossible to move on or forget someone (who you love) sometimes a lifetime is not enough, much less a month. You and he both are use to the patterns and rhythms of a long term relationship and these things are not easy to forget. In our lives we move on weather we want to or not, but not yet. He will contact you very soon and after a discussion, you and he both will try again. I feel very strongly that he is disappointed by where he is in life, not you. - James
Dear James,
Almost a year ago I caught my husband having an affair. I was totally devastated as I thought we were happily married. His lack of emotion, words or any forthcoming verbal" I’m sorry we can work this out" was like acid to my heart. I am divorcing him much to his surprise, but I cannot understand why he blames ME! I look forward to this being legally over as I want him in my past where he belongs. Having two beautiful children means, I will have to face him for the rest of my life, but I’m ready for some company in my life. Do you any decent people in my future. I was married for 16 years, and want to trust again. - K.L.
A lot of times there are very complex reasons for infidelity, but not this time. I do not see an intense romantic relationship or a long term affair as being the reason. He made a big mistake no matter what the motivation was. There is no reason to feel that he lost his affection for you because of some way you have changed, or something you did. I feel he is blaming you to ease his own guilt, or some how rationalize the incident. You, I feel are a nice and happy person, you will never have a problem finding friends. You will always have the ability to socialize with the type of people that you want to you are very magnetic. Where you and your husband are directly concerned, I understand it’s not desired right now, however It’s important that the avenues of communication remain open, at least for a little while. - James
Love Questions: Posted July 1st, 2012
Dear James,
My ex left because I wasn’t showing her attention and affection. I do love her with all my heart. I tried everything I could to get her back. She moved out of state with someone else. I know she runs from problems. She always has. My question is will she come back to me soon .Because I believe she is the one for me or is there anything u can see that I can do or say for her to come back to me. - D.M.
I do not feel that there is anything you can say to change her way of thinking right now. I can also sense that she was planning this, it was not spontaneous. To resolve a problem or start to resolve an issue, it is necessary that you go back to what caused the issue in the first place. Things are being seen with more perspective and clarity and, this is what distance will do (Hine sight is 20/20). I do not feel that she is planning to return right now; she is also very over whelmed by what has occurred, just as you are. There will be the need to speak to you within the next two months, however her contact will not be a romantic one, nor does she chose to answer many questions; her contact will be more in the way of need, fore example: did I ever receive that important letter? Did I leave my phone book there? Etc. It will be to hear your voice, she does not feel very good about what happened and she knows you are defiantly not, so this may take a while. If you attempt to contact her in any way right now, it will have a negative affect. Allow her to contact you when she is ready. It took a lot for this to occur, she feels as if you pushed her away. Remember, you and she both are now gaining perspective about each other.
- James
Dear James,
I met this awesome guy in November of 2010 but I first laid eyes on him October 2010. We started talking and made it Official June 2011. It was long distance. He broke up with Jan.30 2012 and stated he needed to focus on his career and he'd be back once he got on track. How do I know he’s being truthful? He also sent me a necklace after the break up on valentines. Thanks for your time – K.
I feel this was very difficult for him but he is being honest about getting on track. This separation will not last, feelings are much too strong. He is already starting to realize that he does better in all aspects of his life when he is happy; being apart from you does not make him happy. He is also realizing that a person has a need to find themselves, before they can succeed as two (committed relationship), this is also very difficult if not impossible when you are at a distance. It’s only that he knows if you and he are going to move to the next level of your relationship the distance is a barrier. Hold on, the next move is his, and he knows this.
- James
Dear James,
My boyfriend M is a great guy and I know this but when I talk to him he get defensive and get snappy. When this happens, he’ll withhold relations. Does not talk much about his feelings, or what’s going on in his life. Is there something in his past that I should know about? Keep having this feeling that he is keeping a big secret that he feels that if I were to find out about I would leave. I love him and unless there was another women would no leave. Thanks for any insight – K.S.
I do not feel he is hiding any sort of big secret; he is just not use to opening up as much as you are. Woman are better at opening up then most men, women tend to find it easier to discus feelings. I feel in a very short amount of time he will converse and discus things with you. To speed up this increase, I advise you to create topics of conversation, a foot ball game, shared interest in a topic, abutment park, pow-wow, etc... There is no need to worry he also likes you very much; and he will open up more naturally, just give it a little time.
- James
Love Questions: Posted June 25th, 2012
Dear James,
I met a man this past January and it quickly turned into a relationship. The both of us connected really fast and I thought this could be the man I marry. Overall the relationship has been great except sometimes we have little miss-communication issues but we always talk it out and move on within minutes. However, yesterday he broke up with me saying he is unhappy with his life and lack of career and if he is not happy, he can't make me happy. He says he cares about me but can't be in a relationship until he figures out his life. I'm in shock. I want nothing more than for us to be together. Do you see this happening? Also, is he being completely honest with me about his reason for breaking up? - C.F.
Looking into the future is a natural thing, and it happens a lot of times very quickly. It can be a wake up call for most men (this is where he is coming from), what do I have to offer? Have I moved to quickly, am I ready for what she wants? I can not make promises. I feel he only is attempting to call a time out (to gain perspective), I also sense his intention was not to break up totally (but it was taken that way). When you do talk I suggest that you let him know that he is not the only one that is confused; you are to. He is not the only one with issues (every one has issues). The relationship will come back into play, but I would advise that you create what you want, not paint a vivid picture (it may be overwhelming for him right now). Next time enjoy the relationship, because it will evolve, whether its growing and enjoyable, or stressful and overly complected is entirely up to you and he; never the less, the chance will be there.
- James
Dear James,
My ex boyfriend J and I just recently broke up about a month ago. We were together for a long time, most of which consisted of when he was in prison. Throughout the duration of our relationship, there were always obstacles but I was committed to showing him that I was the woman for him. I've been in love with this man since I was 18 years old. When I stood by his side, it was when everyone else had turned their backs on him and I was all he had...period. I expected for out relationship to last but it did not. When he came home we were together for about 6 months and we broke up. He began seeing another woman right away as he was already seeing her before we broke up. We have both done things that we are not proud of but I was always committed to the relationship. When J left it tore my world apart. I do believe that he still loves me and I am still very much in love with him but I want to know do we have a future together because I can be patient in knowing that he will return. If he is going to come back, can you tell me when? - D.C.
Yes, However I do feel he will attempt to hold on to your curiosity. This man knows you will always be there no matter what occurs, you have shown him this. He is also very much aware of the words and conversations you and he have shared, and you have built up a trust of his words, he knows this as well. The bonding you have accomplished with each other has been broken. I feel strongly that he has touched your hart in a way in which you have a desire to heal his issues; this is a compliment to you, however the first step in any type of healing is the desire, and I really do not feel the desire is there on his part. You will receive confusing information from him, regarding feelings and his current situation. My advise to you is to go by what you see, not what you hear from this man.
- James
Dear James,
I separated with my husband in July 2010. He was the one who wanted the divorce, and has had no contact with me since. Our divorce was final September 2011. He has moved on. I believe dating a certain woman for about one year. Why can't I move on? He is always in my thoughts! I truly wish someone new would come into my life so I can stop this obsession with my ex. Any understanding you can give me, would be much appreciated. Thank you, K.S.
People handle and react differently, I feel that he is very disappointed with the marriage not working out, but he has no desire to go through the personal stress again. Where new relationships or good friendships are concerned, I do not feel you will have any kind of a problem in this area. You will continue to enjoy your freedom more and more as time goes on. I see you pursuing interests, catching up will old friends and, reestablishing a new and vigorous curiosity in forgotten subjects and issues. It is during this process that you will find what you feel you are looking for however, you will not be real enthusiastic about committed relationships real soon, but it will occur within the next two years.
- James
Love Questions: Posted June 18th, 2012
Dear James,
My boyfriend & I recently broke and I'm wondering if you see us reconciling and if so, when? There is still love between us and we seem to both be struggling with this breakup. I had a strong belief that he was the one and had been single for many years until he came along. I am so confused and heartbreak and hope that you can shed some light on this for me. - J.D.
First of all, to further your knowledge of his exact feelings regarding this break up, look very honestly within your self. Not only confused feelings, but also shared experiences, kept and broken promises; kisses and hugs; He is doing exactly what you are doing, gathering info about you, based on past interactions (what else can a person do). I feel very strongly that he and your self, have no problem with the romantic aspect (You do love each other) but as we human beings are known to do, you evolved and naturally progressed to a more realistic level of your relation ship. People usually do not define there relationships while they are together, its done when an individual is away ( when you compare the relationship with the rest of your life) for example: sense I have met her am I happier, Do I feel loved or regained my faith in love, faith in myself, in love and, in a joyful life; When this happens it means you are entering reality, or do not see the future without that person being there. You and he will be back on track very soon (within two months), and this time, become more defined about your feelings of being secure with and about each other.
- James
Dear James,
My boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me and broke off all contact saying he still has feelings for his ex. We talked for a year and a half before dating and I felt and honestly still do believe he is my soul mate. He told me when ending things that he knew he could be making the worst decision of his life and knew he would regret it. I can?t stop thinking about him and have finally left him alone 10 days ago. I get the feeling he thinks about me a lot. What do you think? Should I move on or wait around? - C.B.
I feel he is being honest and, he is right when he feels the need to resolve an undefined failed relationship. It is to your advantage that this is happening. One thing is that he is very assured you will be there when he desires you. You are not the type that will accept being his second choice. He will seek you out again and if he has resolved his issues, a evolving relationship will develop ( I feel he will resolve this issue, its really not as intense as he would have you believe). But if by chance, he chooses to dwell, you need to let go. Do not let this situation interfere with the rest of your life, I feel very strongly that you will miss out on a valuable insight if you remain preoccupied with this subject.
- James
Dear James,
I'm married for 10 yrs with a 4 year old son. Husband walked out without verbal warning signs & living separately for 4 months. He shares custody of child. But is giving hard time financially. I am his dependant and work part-time as mostly stay at home mom. At time of parting & handing me separation letter, he took our child for few days. Devastated that he wants to end it all, his behavior very bizarre for months, I knew some big trouble. Didn't know how to handle, as he was very controlling & didn't seek help from friends/ fly. Too late, he won't listen to anyone. He won't pay any bills no more. I know he loves me, but is acting mean & tough to avoid responsibility. I feel someone is influencing him in making such horrible decisions. Please give me some positive hope. Can you see an exact date of his return? Will he pay home utility bills? I just can't afford mortgage et al. He is telling me to get out of the house all the time and I won't. This is ours & our child's home. Thanks. - P
When an individual needs a prolonged distance for a spouse or family, because of some sort of stress (ether real or imagined) There is a big problem. You would be wise to look at the vows of your marriage and to remember it is the spiritual vows of the marriage that are there to create a successful and lasting marriage, but it is the legal aspect (singing of marriage license, making the marriage league) that is for you and your children protection in life. I really do not see him being very co-operative, or forthcoming about the financial aspect of your separation (this reality will cause a great deal of tension between you two) this would very much interfere with your communication with each other. Within a short time (one month) there will be the need for league mediation of some sort. I far as repairing the marriage, the financial issues must be resolved before any sort of repair of the marriage can occur, or start. But remember the desire must be present on both your parts. As far as a date of return; it would by three weeks after you and he regain you ability to communicate effectively, but its going to take a lot of work to get to that point. The thing that you and he have to your advantage also, is that you still love each other very much.
- James
Love Questions: Posted June 11th, 2012
Dear James,?
My ex and I have been apart for several years. Five months ago, he asked to be intimate with him, I told him that wasn’t what I had wanted, I wanted more of a relationship besides sex, after two months of constant nagging I gave in! I am in regret for doing that. He kept continuing to ask to hang out, and I kept making excuses. What makes our situation difficult is that we have a child together; he hasn't seen his child in two months? I feel that was it because I stopped agreeing to his needs. I'm so confused, and emotionally drained. I did tell him I was tired of his games and him being a PRN dad, so I deleted his number. I do think a real man wouldn't let anything or anybody come in between him and his child. I’m not really sure what it is that he wants from me anymore. Any insight would be appreciated! – S.S. ??
Unfortunately, being intimate or even the spiritual gift of a child, is not an automatic guarantee of a successful relationship. I do feel very, very strongly that this man has always loved you, and at the present the love he feels for you and also the child is intense and assured. Even though you have a child together, you and he (intensely) are very much in the romantic phase, and I feel this is what he wishes to maintain (romance). Where you and he are concerned, for anything new to grow, some thing must fade away, in this case it is a different approach and common view of the future. This or your situation is occurring, only because you allow it to and indirectly, established a pattern of behavior. Established patterns of behavior are very difficult to change (just wishing for it to occur, never works), so an active and directed approach is necessary and you do have this ability. You must design life the way you want it, and remember in the eyes of higher power you have already bonded in a spiritual way (your child) remember, he is just as confused as you, a bit more. I feel strongly that he would by very happy entering a more structured relationship, however it is you who must take the lead.
?- James
Dear James,
?I have been seeing S for the pass 9 months. He is a sweet caring guy. I found out he is seeing me and two other women I confronted him and he admitted it, and says he loves the three of us. The thing I need to know, James, if he really loves me and if he is thinking of settling with me and leaving those women, as I can't live my life like this. I really love him and he is so sweet and affectionate but I don't need to play or waste my time. So please tell me what's up. I also want a child with him please tell me if it’s going to happen. I want to know if he truly loves me or is it just sex. I also want to know if he is in love with those women. I also want to know if he is keeping a dark secret from me as I have my suspicion. I also want to know he is taking vacation to England I want to know if he is going there to be with some woman. – S.H.
?If you stated your desires for the future to him in this sort of way, I feel you are lucky you did not scare him away permanently. We always need to remember that a person never gets closer to another by asking them to give something up, it just does not work. I know this man has a great deal of affection for you; but this is not the way to become closer (you still have a great deal of bonding to accomplish) If you wish to have an exclusive romantic relationship with this man, you must make it known to him, he can not read your mind. I do see a successful relationship developing between you two, but it will take time and mutual agreement, not ultimatum.
?- James
Dear James,
?Since my divorce some years ago, I have not had a meaningful relationship with anyone special. In the meantime, I am not getting any younger, and I sometimes worry that life is going to be passing me up. I do engage myself in what I would call meaningful study at this time, besides also taking care of my ailing mother. I guess I am getting a bit restless and impatient, but realize that I have to trust in the Lord's timing. Do you see my true love coming my way soon? Also when, where and how would I meet him? Will we be having a common goal and endeavor? In addition, how would I recognize this person when he comes along? I thank you in advance! – MBN ?
You possess this feeling not because of desire, it is because it is your destiny. I do not feel you will find the man in your destiny by looking for him, you will find each other. I know you are a very loving and responsible person, but all human beings need to recharge their batteries, to operate correctly. What I mean is to always follow your hart. I know your prayers and intentions are being heard; but a person must put them selves in an environmental situation that is conducive to this occurring. A lot of people meet as a result of following their heart; for example church, temple, or a green house, concert, pursuit of study... You are a very complex person. You will know this individual by noticing that his life is almost exactly like yours, and with in a very short amount of time, you will (and also he) become aware that you also see the future in the same way. He will have a very healthy view of religion and spirituality. By the way he will have a marvelous sense of humor. This will occur towards the end of summer.?
- James
Love Questions: Posted June 3rd, 2012
Dear James,
I have been talking to a man I have never met! I have not talked to him in a few weeks now, and I don’t understand why he quit! I send him texts all the time and he ignores me! Does he think of me, and why did he quit talking? – J.
Unfortunately this type of behavior is more common then people think. We need to remember that one of the laws of human behavior (this means that all human beings react in the same way) is that deprivation creates motivation; in others words if a person chooses to walk away from some one, or something they will usually succeed but, if an individual is told that they better not or, can not; they will be even more motivated towards it (deprivation creates motivation). I feel this is some what of a ploy (first expression of love is not romance it is concern), what I mean is that by not contacting you he pretty much guarantees that you will be concerned, and will continue to keep him on your mind, actively. I am not picking up that he is lying to you, only not being as open about his current position in life. Most relationships these days begin online and to a lesser extent at the work place. However my advice to you is to take this very slowly, I feel you and this man have a good chance of developing a more defined relationship, but if you move to quickly you will scare each other away. He will be contacting you within the week with an explanation, and a very attentive ear.
- James
Dear James,
My boyfriend happened to propose on New Years Day. Now I run into a new dilemma. Things are still a little tense for a few different reasons. I seem to have the worst of thoughts/feelings...something in me says there is something very wrong, especially when we are not around each other. In his work, they have a bowling league but with his shift, he has a ton of time between work and the start of the game--so one night a few weeks ago, he decided to go to a strip club, enter into a flirting mode, and gets this girls number and email. He eventually admitted to it and said it was an impulse and he was stupid for doing it and will never do it again. Now I'm afraid every time he goes out, especially on his bowling night. Even tonight, I am at my mom's for a visit without him and I have this feeling in me that think something is going to happen while I'm gone. What is going on? How can I stop feeling this way? Help? - A. P.
Put the wedding off, entering a union or a marriage for the purpose of bringing a couple closer or to resolve a behavior issue never works let me repeat myself, never ever works. I sense his proposal was made at this time to keep you happy and to not bicker about irrelevant issues (this is his way of thinking), the reason people enter engagements is to prepare and see if a marriage is what they really want. I do know this man loves you very much, but he may be caught up in the concept of being married vs. being single (this is not uncommon) I do feel you will succeed as a couple if you maintain an engagement for at least a year, and when the time is right, you and he will be ready to enter life as one. For most people making the decision to marry or commit in the honor of higher power comes very soon, and this is what the euphoria and sensory stimulation of love does to us as human beings; But I always feel that if you are going to do something, do it right, with patience and nurturing. Like a beautiful plant, it did not start that way, but with love, care, and nurturing, it will flourish.
- James
Dear James,
I have been in love with a man named B. for over three years. I think about him constantly. I have prayed and prayed to have my desire to be with him to be removed from my heart but God has not answered my prayer. I am married and I fell in love with B. when I helped him through a divorce. I looked after his twin daughters and fell in love with them, too. B. married in February after knowing this woman only nine months. I know he felt the very strong connection we have between us but he never told me that he felt anything but friendship for me. I want to know what you see. Do you see a future for B. and I together in a committed relationship? I thank you for looking at this for me! God Bless! - O.K.
The main tenant of all faiths or religions is blind faith or belief without physical proof (this is not as easy as it sounds) first of all I feel a great deal of concern from you towards this mans situation in life. People become very close and it feels very good, when you open up to an individual and they open up to you (it is called transference, or counter transference) and a lot of times this is perceived as love. I feel strongly that you became a little too involved with his issues and I am sure to him it feels very good, to have a support system, however this is only a deep friendship; and of course he feels similar. You do have a potential to bond further, however his issues will still be present. If the intention is a romantic relationship you must be clear about this. Right now clarity is the key; because you and he have a good head start, but only a head start. Please get to know each other in a realistic way.
- James
Love Questions: Posted May 21st, 2012
Dear James,
My baby daddy and I have been apart for about 5 months now, during these months of being apart, I find myself missing him very much and I think I'm still in love with him. We had been together for almost 9 years. I know it’s hard for me to let go and move in because we had a long relationship and now I'm 6 months pregnant. It hurts me a lot when I hear that he went on dates. I really want to know if he is coming back soon and if we will be a family again. - C.P.
You have been blessed with a child, also a constant reminder of father. Just like the majority of people you want a complete family. And I am positive that you and he once or a couple of times, have spoken about this subject. I feel very strongly that the intention was real and felt by both of you. There is no problem with your feelings about each other and of course the child, sometimes things do not work out as we have planed. This man is not psychology ready for this type of obligation, although he is well aware that he is responsible, legally, and spiritually it does not change the fact that he is definitely not prepared. It is the anticipation of responsibility that really scared him away. He will make an attempt to enter your life again, however the same issues will still be there; it is up to you and he if your attempt works. The real obstacle is a fear of financial pressure.
- James?
Dear James,
My ex and I split about 2 months ago, we were together around 9 months. We had a few small disagreements, but nothing I believe to end a relationship over. Her mother dislikes me, I got upset and told my ex that I feel her mom comes between us and it grates on my nerves. Do you see any possibility of us getting back together? - J.C.
By cementing about her mother in that way, you may not have another chance. She knows with out a doubt that her mother loves her more then any one, and is only doing what she believes is the best for her. Even though the situation did not start because of her mother, now it revolves around her mother. She is not going to choose you over her mother or family, that’s a fact. I see your only chance to win her back, is to make peace with her mother, this will be very difficult and take some time, but it is possible (you will have the chance in three months). Her mother is paying attention to how she looks and feels; not necessarily what she says; she does know that the love is there, but feels her daughter’s choices are wrong. Its up to you to prove her point or change her mind. That is why I say you do have some work in front of you.?
- James?
Dear James,
Please be so kind as to advise me whether I have met the man yet that I will marry? I am currently single, but am interested in someone. I’m just not quite sure yet if there will be a future for the two of us...Thank you and much light and love. - R.M.
You will know for sure when the time and person are right. Just by bonding and establishing patterns of activity you would in time see things in a very similar way, and as time goes bye you and the man you chose will integrate your lives together (establishing a common image of life together) Once this image (or at least the beginning) has been established, you will know. When you see through simple bonding that you can activity, more of what you want out of life, by being together, then by being apart. I feel very strongly that you are a romantic; so falling in love is key. There is a very strong chance that you and this new person will like each other very much, and if your friendship lasts longer then three months, prospects for a relationship are wonderful. He is a very nice man, a bit shy but nice.
- James
Love Questions: Posted May 21st, 2012
Dear James,
A year ago my ex left me for someone else, and has not been in contact with me. I found another man who makes me happy, but what I do not understand is why he left me? Will he and I ever talk? - E.B.
This feeling of not knowing why, or not understanding completely is usually caused intentionally as a result of the individuals desire to keep the situation ongoing (or not establishing closure), this only shows you he really does not hold you responsible, but it also shows that you were really not the reason why it did not work. I feel strongly that he is still holding to a lot of unresolved guilt about this break up, he more then any thing knows he let you down. You and he will talk again, but not any time soon. He feels more confused then you. Some times there is not a conscious reason but only feeling, being that he left or I should say you and he brook up, He would be going through the whole spectrum of loss (and this is not a good feeling) Attempting to be close friends, to him would be an insult (he felt that you would fall apart). Some times space between two people is not only right, it is necessary. - James
Dear James,
My Ex and I broke up about 7 months ago. We were so in love during the relationship, and he claims he still loves me. I've been waiting and hoping he will come back, but right now I'm confused. I believe he is my soul mate and has everything I want in a guy. He is the perfect guy for me. Will we get a chance to get back together or should I keep trying to move on? - C.C.
Just like entering a formally committed relationship both people must agree on their situation, and their harts must be in sync for things to work out correctly. I truly feel that he intends to make an appearance in your life, but he is not ready for a serious relationship, nor do I feel you are (With each other). You and he have a lot to talk about (first of all the reason for the disappearance) I do feel that you and he can succeed, but It would take some time to make it work. He does love you, but he also has some personal issues he needs to deal with first. There is not to much to do but wait until you receive information from him, as to what is going on in his life; but until this occurs (within three months) do not let this interfere with your life, I advise you to carry on, and be the positive and happy person you are. - James
Dear James,
Do you see me getting back together with a boyfriend from my past if so how will it work out and will it last and also do you see me in a long term relationship. - T.S.
You and he both have gone through changes and matured more in the way you look at life and relationships. He has wonderful memories of your time together, and does hope you have done well in life. Certain songs and TV shows remind him of you, and this makes him smile. You and he will always have good memories of the time you shared, and one day will communicate, however you both will be in happy and growing relationships, which will make you both happy. There is a wonderful chance that you and he can be very good friends but I don’t see another romantic relationship developing. As far as you being in a long-term relationship with some one, yes. For you a long term and loving relationship is your destiny, and will occur before winter. - James
Love Questions: Posted May 14th, 2012
Dear James,
My partner and I of 8 years split up 5 months ago. Since then she has gone back to an ex of hers, a month after we split up, there has been very limited contact between us, I had a mini breakdown while we were together and stopped showing her affection etc, I would like to know how she feels about me and whether we will get back together again. - S.H.
I feel that she still has the same affection for you that she has always has had for you, however I also sense a great deal of worry and disappointment. She feels not a sense of guilt about what has occurred, but a feeling that she may have had some thing to do with the breakdown, indirectly. You and she have been a couple for a very long time and have went through a lot together, shared experiences, shared feelings, and shared vision of the future. What was happening to you scared her, and she was experiencing a great feeling of being powerless to do anything to help the condition, and after a while she began to feel as if her presence was complicating the condition. I know she would be very happy to hear that you are feeling better, but she would also know how deep the feelings with in you are. Feelings with in her are also very strong, but as with you things between you and she are extremely confusing. You and she will find the occasion to talk by the end of summer, and this discussion will clear up most of your questions regarding each other. I know there is a very good chance you and she, will try again.
- James
Dear James,
I recently took a long-awaited trip to Miami for the purpose of visiting an ex. This man and I dated twelve years ago, and after a period of separation and no contact have over the past nine years become very good and dear friends. During my time with him he spoke of plans for the future that included both of us - and I find myself curious as to how to proceed as I have loved this man deeply for quite some time and truly desire to develop a new and long-term relationship as romantic and life partners. Your advice would be greatly appreciated. - S.T.
I have extremely good feelings regarding this perspective relationship. He has a lot of positive plans and very happy and honest affection for you, and if you share his image, that is great. However if you feel the need to be a part of the process, you need to start right now. What happens in most cases is that two people establish a common image of there future together, and I feel you and he have accomplished this to an extent. The desire and plans of the future have been introduced; the next few months will be all about incorporating into each other’s lives. I feel that you can take this man at his word; he is being truthful about his feelings for you. You have a very big head start on a pleasurable and growing life together.
- James
Dear James,
I have feelings for a man that says he wants to be friends, but when we are together it feels like we're more. I'm trying my best to accept this. We are so compatible in many ways and I believe we both truly care for each other. We've both been through a lot these past few years and it seems that our timing is always off. I'd like to know if he’d ever change his mind. Are we ever going to be more than friends and have a committed relationship? - B.
His view and image of a committed relationship is not real good right now, for the reason of hurt feelings that are involved. Words carry a great deal of power; when an individual is in an acknowledged friend ship it prevents the issue of where is our relationship going. Friends really do not have the right to ask personal questions. You know and he knows very well that you are a lot more then friends, but right now looking to far into the future intimidates him. I feel that your relationship needs more definition and more time to evolve. With more bonding and shared experiences he will feel more comfortable and positive about the future and of course, that will include you, If that is what you want.
- James
Love Questions: Posted May 7th, 2012
Dear James,
I believe I have met my soul mate however I’m feeling some distance between us right now that seems like he's pulling away instead of getting closer to making a decision for us to be together. I know I idealize the relationship and now am wondering if we're together will it be a loving, committed relationship. What are your thoughts? -M.O.
I feel strongly that the reason for his supposed distance is that he is very much realizing the same thing that you are; that you have established a very strong and growing relationship with each other. His thoughts right now are that he has achieved something that met everything to him, being with you. He is also very satisfied and feels very good in the knowledge and assurance that you also feel the same towards him. At this time, his thoughts about the future include you; he is wondering where things will go and, how to proceed with the relationship. What you are picking up is contemplation and deep thought, not emotional distance. People in relationships will a lot times come to the realization that the object of there affection feels the same towards them, and most of the time (as in your case) it makes a person feel very good and content; which I do know he feels towards you. He does not see the future with out you being there, and this is what people call being in love.
- James
Dear James,
I'm wondering what will happen with B. and I? How does he feel? I am so confused about what he wants from me. I like him so much, my feelings towards him are unconditional and I don't understand why when he hasn't showed me the same up until this point, but at the same time, he keeps coming back. What will happen with us? A.
This man is use to the dating aspect of your relationship, what I mean exactly is the wondering and anticipation of what may occur. In the dating phase, a person is very much concerned about making a good impression, looking good, being in a positive mood, and being able to prepare to see the person that you’re interested in. This is the phase in which a man usually wants to be the knight in shining armor; impressive and admirable in all ways, there is nothing wrong with this in fact its rather romantic. A couple will move into reality sometimes at a different pace. Where you and he are concerned, I feel that his behavior will become more consistent and dependable about where your relationship is right now and where he would like it to go within the next two months. The only thing he knows right now is that he loves you and wants to maintain the relationship. You make this man very happy.
- James
Dear James,
I can't seem to let go of a past lover. I miss him dearly. I pray for him daily. My heart hurts for him. Did I mean as much to him as he means to me? The connection we shared for a period of time was amazing. Will he ever come back into my life? Does he think of me and did I mean something to him. How do I let go? Does he know the pain I am feeling? I really think I feel Love: with this man. - M.
Love and attachment are very complex emotions and sometimes remain with us through out our lives. I sense that this man misses you as much as you miss him. Many times the intensity of an emotional encounter with another is beyond description. When life is so satisfying in the moment, we sometimes for a while forget about the realities of life. I feel your time together was extremely special for him as well. Some important and serious event has been going on in his world; he has been and will continue to deal with it. I feel this was the primary reason for the relationship not continuing. In his world, there is nobody who knows about you and him, your time together will remain a wonderful experience to him. Within the next six months, you and he will connect with each other, and you will understand with more clarity what exactly is going on.
- James
Love Questions: Posted April 29th, 2012
Dear James,
My boyfriend and I get along very well, every once in a while we get in a little argument. He says we get along more than anyone else he's ever been with and he treats me very good. I have not had a lot of relationship experience but I feel like he’s the one. Could it be meant to be? - M.
I feel very strongly that you and he were destined to meet. What you and he do to bond with each other, the shared experiences, established and on going memories, positive and mutual activities that create a common image of the future are entirely up to you and he. In the case of what is called a Spiritual relationship there is many times the desire to reinforce and commemorate the bonding process; mentally, physically and spiritually. I sense that you and he are very enamored with each other and I advise you and he to enjoy and allow your relationship to evolve naturally; and I can see this is already happening, you do feel the same way about each other and this will continue.
- James
Dear James,
I was in a relationship that was going good until the ex-girl put herself into the picture. We broke up then a few weeks later we started talking again and things were going good with our talks and we are trying to move forward, and then he just stopped answering my phone calls and texts. Shortly after our talks picked back up again. James, I love this man. I want to know if we will be moving forward this year, and live together as in a union, we have talked about marriage before and were working on that. - R.
If this man is so easily swayed by his ex girlfriend, this is definitely not the time to make a major commitment. I have had hundreds of clients that will feel a marriage or having a child will make a relationship stronger and easier; this assumption is WRONG, it never works. A marriage and children are joyful but very difficult. If you and this man agree on an attempt at a committed sort of relationship I do feel you love each other enough to succeeded, however, all issues with ex girlfriends or boyfriends must be resolved or let go completely. If you and he both are in harmony on this issue things look very bright. I do not feel that he is still pursuing her or in love with her in an unresolved way, only going through the after effects of an unhealthy relationship, which he has no real desire to return to
- James
Dear James,
In June 2011, the love of my life broke up with me. During the almost 5 years that we were together, he would be so loving, and we had planned our future together. I feel strongly in my heart, that we will reunite. I am wondering if you see this in my future. Thank you very much. M.S.
You and he have established a spiritual bonding with each other; I feel this very strongly. The circumstances of reality, and how an individual handles stress and changes in life sometimes get in the way of our image of an ideal relationship or marriage. When certain problems arise, a couple can tackle issues together or on a personal level; he chose to deal with issues on a personal level. He is seceding, however, still involved in the process it self. You and he will interact at times of your lives, and the friendship will intensify, however, a growing healthy romantic relationship would still experience the same barriers
- James
Love Questions: Posted April 23rd, 2012
Dear James, Will I ever have a committed relationship with J or will we just remain friends? Is there someone else that he is more interested in? I need to know the truth. - R.H.
This man J, feels that he can talk to you like no other. He also is very aware of the perceived connection between you. However, I do not feel he is aware of the intensity of your feelings toward him. You and he have started your friendship by supporting each other through an important issue; the issue is now dealt with. In my opinion, what is needed in this relationship is more focus on more colorful and unique experiences with each other, and I do feel very strongly that he is thinking in this direction. I will be very honest with you; it is difficult going from acknowledged friendship to acknowledged romantic relationship; however in your and his case it is entirely possible. Things between you and he will be more defined by the end of spring. - James
Dear James, My ex broke up with me 3 months ago for unknown reasons. We dated for 8 months & were serious about each other. He has cut off all communication w/me & tells people he broke up w/me because I’m a fake/liar. He doesn't look at me when I'm in his presence and told me he doesn't love me. Will we reconcile or talk again, if so when? - A.B.
This man while nice has a possessive streak. The reason you do not know what happened is because the primary cause is something you have nothing to do with; and I my personal opinion, It is best un-pursued, left as is for the time being. You and he are both very good people and it would be wise to be casual and friendly with each other at this time. He is extremely aware that you are wondering what exactly is going on; I feel this is intentional it maintains your curiosity. He will attempt to communicate with you within the month, if he uses an indirect attempt (I would not be calling, but, did I leave my car keys in your home) something of an in direct nature; you can bet issues are still there, if it’s a direct attempt, and if you still want to, give him the opportunity to talk, but that’s all right now. The attempt to get close with you again will occur, but you will feel differently. - James
Dear James, I am in love with M. and he was with me till then in October he met an old friend said that he wanted to see if it would work out they broke up two weeks ago he said mutual agreement now he thinks of getting back together. She is a controlling, manipulating person. I Love him so very much and want him back. She uses any and every thing to try to use him. Please help me get him back. I want to be more than a friend to him. - S.C.
First of all its impossible to make another fall in love with you, secondly you have no need to wonder what kind of hold she has on him, it is nothing outside of physical attraction. I do hope you realize that if there is a third party influence (on earthier side) such as in this situation, it can not work out or I should say, evolve into any thing more then a friendship. In talking with him please let him know in a casual way) that you do not really like talking about her and his issues with her, I do feel it’s to see or hear your reaction, and this is a very immature thing to do. It is time to not be so focused on what is going on with him, but more on what you would like, how you would like to advance, or start to accomplish. I feel that this is a very high energy (Psychically) time for you ( any new endeavor you start or at least put in to the planning stages, has a nine in ten chance of working out for you) but being to emotionally involved or occupied in an uncertain way will interfere with you catching opportunities as they fly by. For him uncertainty will continue for the next few months, the quandary will continue until Fall (the end of Fall) when he will have an epiphany in life (very positive), for now I feel you are moving in a different direction (also very positive). - James
Love Questions: Posted April 16th, 2012
Dear James,
Will I ever have a committed relationship with J or will we just remain friends? Is there someone else that he is more interested in? I need to know the truth. - R.H.
This man J, feels that he can talk to you like no other. He also is very aware of the perceived connection between you, However I do not feel he is aware of the intensity of your feelings toward him. He is not romantically interested in any one, only you at this time, he knows how you are beginning to feel towards him. You and he have started your friendship by supporting each other in one way or another, through an important issue, the issue is now dealt with; In my opinion what is needed in this relationship is more focus on more colorful and unique experiences with each other, and I do feel very strongly that he is thinking in this direction. I will be very honest with you, it is difficult going from acknowledged friendship to acknowledged romantic relationship; however in your and his case it is entirely possible. Things between you and he will be more defined by the end of Spring.
- James
Dear James,
My ex broke up with me 3 months ago for unknown reasons. We dated for 8 months & were serious about each other. He has cut off all communication w/me & tells people he broke up w/me because I’m a fake/liar. He doesn't look at me when I'm in his presence and told me he doesn't love me. Will we reconcile or talk again, if so when? - A.B.
This man while nice has a possessive streak. The reason you do not know what happened is because the primary cause is something you have nothing to do with; and I my personal opinion, It is best un-pursued, left as is for the time being. You and he are both very good people and it would be wise to be casual and friendly with each other at this time. He is extremely aware that you are wondering what exactly is going on; I feel this is intentional it maintains your curiosity. He will attempt to communicate with you within the month, if he uses an indirect attempt (I would not be calling, but, did I leave my car keys in your home) something of an in direct nature; you can bet issues are still there, if it’s a direct attempt, and if you still want to, give him the opportunity to talk, but that’s all right now. The attempt to get close with you again will occur, but you will feel differently.
- James
Dear James,
I am in love with M. and he was with me till then in October he met an old friend said that he wanted to see if it would work out they broke up two weeks ago he said mutual agreement now he thinks of getting back together. She is a controlling, manipulating person. I Love him so very much and want him back. She uses any and every thing to try to use him. Please help me get him back. I want to be more than a friend to him. - S.C.
First of all its impossible to make another fall in love with you, secondly you have no need to wonder what kind of hold she has on him, it is nothing outside of physical attraction. I do hope you realize that if there is a third party influence (on earthier side) such as in this situation, it can not work out or I should say, evolve into any thing more then a friendship. In talking with him please let him know in a casual way) that you do not really like talking about her and his issues with her, I do feel it’s to see or hear your reaction, and this is a very immature thing to do. It is time to not be so focused on what is going on with him, but more on what you would like, how you would like to advance, or start to accomplish. I feel that this is a very high energy (Psychically) time for you ( any new endeavor you start or at least put in to the planning stages, has a nine in ten chance of working out for you) but being to emotionally involved or occupied in an uncertain way will interfere with you catching opportunities as they fly by. For him uncertainty will continue for the next few months, the quandary will continue until Fall (the end of Fall) when he will have an epiphany in life (very positive), for now I feel you are moving in a different direction (also very positive).
- James
Love Questions: Posted April 9th, 2012
Dear James,
I was seeing a guy for 6 months and thought it was a relationship only to find out he was only interested in the sexual aspect so I ended it. Now I keep getting these strange feelings and a sickly feeling and I no its because he thinking of me, if I check my messages there will be one from him. Why every time I no he is thinking of me do I feel sick? - J.
It is a very uncomfortable feeling to have some one pursue you for only the reason of a physical encounter. I would advise you to not confuse yourself; what I mean exactly is believe that his feelings or view to the future will some how include you, or his affection will grow to match yours in time, I do not feel that it will happen, don’t get me wrong, he is a nice person but his view of the future only includes himself. Do not let this situation upset you, it is life. I am not saying to not be friends, however if you know he is only interested in a physical relationship (friends with benefits) I would advise you to let it go, friends with sexual benefits is not only dangerous, its taking your feelings to a frustrating and uncomfortable place (the tendency to blame your self), and I do not see that in your future. - James
Dear James,
I met an attractive interesting man at the local hospital back in September of last year. I saw him not too long ago driving on my way from work while he might have been going to work. I think of him but wonder if he still is interested in seeing me sometime this year? I thought the reason he hasn't called was because he's either not single, he might have lost the number in his stack of papers he put it in, or he might have not been interested or doubtful. I saw some signs he might have been interested. Do you see him hooking up with me this year on a physical or relationship level? - J.
Yes I do, I feel strongly that he was very taken with your personality, he found you to be magnetic and pleasant in appearance and personality. But this man is well aware that a person that needs to visit a hospital is most likely there on an important matter and that is not really the place to get to know one another well. As far as your number, he did misplace it. There will not be a direct contact, but you and he will run into each other when you nor he are expecting. This meeting will lead to further activity between you and he (towards the end of May). You and he will find you have much in common; he was in a committed relationship a while back, but that particular situation is something that he has dealt with and has no baggage regarding the matter. Things between you and he should progress very nicely, I see no barriers.
- James
Dear James,
A month ago I had the great fortune of being able to visit an ex who has become a dear friend over the past seven years. After having spent five days with him, I have come home to feel very deeply in my heart that this man is my soul mate. During my visit, he did say that he wanted me to visit again soon and mentioned many future plans that included “us”. I am unsure of how to proceed, as I do not want to rush anything if this is indeed my path; however, I find myself missing him terribly and longing to be in his company. Many thanks for your consideration and advice. - S.T.
Before your to much at a distance, it would be time to have a clarifying talk about lingering feelings; you will find that he feels the same. The spiritual bonding can not be broken, only get stronger or weaker (I feel you both realize this now), however the confusion on how to proceed is some thing you also have in common. He knows you very well, as you know he, and the correct words will come easier then you and he realize. If there are any barriers to you and he re-bonding with each other (another man or woman) that situation must be non existent for the bonding to work at all (at this time I do no see any barriers). A genuine effort on both your parts will work. I suggest sharing a unique memorable experience, that you and he shared in the past, a ski trip, cookout on the beach, or even visiting the place where you shared your marriage vows in the past.. Even though he feels that he can talk to you very naturally, remember it is a lot easier for you to express your feelings (verbally) than he.
- James
Love Questions: Posted March 26th, 2012
Dear James,
I was basically the one pursuing him at first, and when I asked him if he was open to dating me, he told me he didn't really have the time or energy for a relationship right then. He mentioned being burned too many times by girls in the past. He was working full time, going to college, and was running for state representative, and was the selectman for his town, so at the time, he really was too busy. He also said that I lived too far away. After a while, I gave up on him because he started seeing another girl, for only about a month or so. After that, they broke up. He spoke to me just prior to their break up, and also again following their breaking up, asking me how I’d been doing, and told me that he missed me. He told me we should hang out again sometime soon. I told him I'd basically given up on him, and didn't know if I was interested anymore. He then told me not to give up on us and he apologized to me saying that he was bad at this. I told him that I didn't know that he cared. I told him if he wanted to we could go out together sometime, and he asked me when? I told him when I'd be available. I told him I'd be okay with getting to know each other better, and he agreed. We haven't officially "been out" on any dates or anything. It may be because he's actually a shy guy, and I've already been intimate with him, so he probably doesn't feel the need to take me out in order to "get with me". He invites me over to hang out, and have drinks, and often we are intimate, but not always. I just don't want to be led on if he's just using me for sex. I'm curious what he might feel, and what I should to do about the situation. - J.C.
I do not feel that there is that much of a change in his priorities, he is definitely focused on his career, and there is really not a thing wrong with that. It is his choice in careers that has created his awareness of what he does not have; which is a loving and nurturing relationship that is growing. I feel the obligations of his profession have caused issues in his past. You and he developed a romantic attachment to each other; there is no doubt about that. I would advise you to gradually incorporate into each other’s lives, rather then ask each other to give something up. I also feel strongly that he cares about you more then you know, but I would advise also that you and he become aware of the feelings of one another. It’s very difficult to change the dynamics of an established pattern, however, in your case it is entirely possible.
- James
Dear James,
I've been texting this amazing guy on and off for 3-4 months now. He's a musician. We have mutual friends but have never met before. I know that he likes me but time and distance is not on our side. Currently, he's busy touring and working on his album. I feel like he could be the one. Are we meant for each other? - L.
I feel you and he are very nice people and would have much in common, however, the commitment to his music will continue and become even more time consuming. If you and he can remain friends and the avenues of communication remain open, the chances are excellent that you and he could become closer and your relationship will deepen. In a perspective relationship, jealousy and possessiveness will be a key factor to over come. I strongly feel that you and he will find an opportunity to meet up with each other within the next two months, and the meeting will go very well if planed correctly.- James
Dear James,I am deeply in love with my ex. He broke up about 5 months ago, but there's still a strong, caring and even sexual connection between us. I believe he's my soul mate and I really want to be with him. Am I wasting my time by holding on or will we reunite and work things out for the best? - C. This would be a time of reflection and definition, which as you he is doing. I also feel very strongly that he is disappointed that things did not work out between you two. Please do not see your self as being the cause of the break up, he does not. Within the next month you will see a deeper meaning to what has occurred, I know this may be hard for you to believe but this man holds you very close to his hart, but finds it very difficult to define things or I should say find the correct words. It may take around six months or so, but you and he both will attempt to reunite, but if it’s going to work this time it has to evolve to a higher level. Original issues will still be present, but the desire and effort to over come these obstacles will be mutual. And you do have a head start.
- James
Love Questions: Posted March 19th, 2012
Dear James,
After 30 years of a good marriage, my husband had back surgery and got addicted to the pain meds, and started drinking. He ran into his first girlfriend from when he was 17. She does the same. She convinced him that I controlled him and spent all his money. She let him move in and he took nothing from home and was convinced to divorce. They are poison to each other and I can't help feeling that we are still connected. I have tried to stop communicating with him, but I feel that he is still a part of my life. He admits he has a problem. He will never get help as long as she enables. Do you see him leaving her, getting help and wanting to come back and be a part of my life and his sons life who will have nothing to do with him the way things are now? If so, when? I know he is very distraught and perhaps too proud to admit he made a terrible mistake. Do you see us together again as husband and wife? - D.P.
I feel that he is a smart man and that he is well aware of the dangers of mixing pain killers and alcohol. I do not see this woman being an influence on him for very much longer. What he desires the most right now is the comfort of home. Your assumption that guilt plays a part in his hesitation is correct; he does love you and would not want to hurt you. Within the next two months, you will be able to discuss what has happened between you and he. You each have your own perspective however, he does not blame you in any way. If you agree, he will want to try again. I advise that you and he get to the point where you each desire to re-do the vows of the marriage, and you will. For things to work out correctly, this other woman cannot be a part of the scenario at all.
- James
Dear James,
My Fiancé and I have been off and on for the past 9 years. We have a 5 year old son and I also have 3 girl's from other relationships. Just wanted to know if he is being faithful to me and I’m wondering if this relationship is going to last? - C.B.
These days just being with someone in a close way one time can have disastrous life time effects, and he is very aware of this, not to mention if your relation fails, he does not want to be at fault. He is not only very conscious of himself, but also you and your feelings. I feel that he is very happy with not only the relationship, but also the family. You and he have invested a lot in your relationship not only financially, but also in feelings, and shared experiences; so I do not believe the thought of infidelity has even entered his mind. You and he will continue to invest and enjoy your relationship for the foreseeable future.
- James
Dear James,
I miss S so much and I can't get over him. I love him with all my heart but things changed so quickly. Will we ever reconcile? - K.
Even though your differences are genuine, you do like each other very much. I feel that not only you but also he, are very uncomfortable with the way things turned out. You are both growing at this time of your lives, but in different directions. I defiantly feel that there will be a reconciliation and you and he will remain good friends. However I do not see that a romantic situation will work for you or he, not at this time.
- James
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Love Questions: Posted February 25th, 2013
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