Home: Ask a Love Psychic: Answers From January and February 2012

James

James, ext. 7058

From an early age James has been aware of the energy and feelings of others, the first aspect of being an intuitive. The powers were so strong it prompted him to be of service to others. Through 33 years of practice and professional study he has the ability to guide people through the paths of their lives, the ups and downs, the realistic issues, surrounding relationships and love, career, money and spirituality. His techniques include clairvoyance, tarot, astrology and Native American totems and animal guides. He looks forward to speaking to you soon so that you may begin your path to insight.


Love Questions: Posted February 27th, 2012

Dear James,
My husband left a year ago. I was devastated and tried for 7 months to get him to come back. We have 2 young children. I felt we should be together. I then met someone who was so caring and kind and had more in common with. I went from being so sad that my marriage was over to so happy I met someone and was respected and can see me for who I am. We have been dating for 5 months now and we are happy. The only problem is, I live 1.5 hrs away, he works an hour father still. I do like my home I am in; it is hard to sell as I also grew up here. My new beau likes it as well. He has been at his place of employment for 17 years and doesn't want to give it up. We talked about buying a home half way for both of us to work. I am afraid to take such a big step. I see us together for a long time. Do you see that? Do you see us living together or just seeing one another on weekends and holidays? -T.P.

When people are in love, they will find a way to be together, and I feel that this is true between you and he. Although your relationship is moving very quickly into reality, I defiantly see you and he finding a workable solution to the distance issue, it may not occur very fast but this time gives you and he the time to do things in a right way, unhurried, and with calm . You and this man are fortunate to have found each other and you will succeed if you take care of the minor issues first, incorporate into each others lives, rather then give up the things that mean a lot to you and he. You and he will decide to establish some sort of temporary arrangement, while you are preparing to make this important move. However, I feel it is very important that there are no third party influences (problems or issues with your X, or his) Even though I feel that your relationship is very strong it is still growing and requires nurturing and the proper care to continue growing and flourish.
- James

Dear James,
Me and my ex partner were in an 8 year relationship she has left me for an ex she told me that I was her soul mate her 1 true love. I am wondering if she regrets her decision and if she will come back to me, so we can have the relationship we were meant to have together, or is it completely over? - S.H.

I feel that she is very confused about life in general, there will be a time (within three months) that you will need to discus an issue, and you will notice that she has no desire right now to make important decisions regarding relationships. Once you began to communicate again you will find that she is attempting to find her self as an individual. I would advise you to attempt to repair the friendship first, this is entirely possible. Believe it or not, this change is not so much about the other person as it is about her.
- James

Dear James,
My lover left me and has not been in contact with me for past 5 months. I think he is confused. Will he come back to me? I contacted him through one of his friends. And he told his friend that he would call me. Will he come back to me? Please tell me. I can't live without him. - K.S.

Yes he will attempt to come back to you, however, it is important that this issue is discussed and dealt with, or it will continue. I feel very strongly that things started to move very fast, including his affection for you. He backed off the pace of the relationship. Right now he is not sure if you are mad or sad, or maybe a bit of both. One thing that has occurred as a result of his behavior, is to succeed the relationship must go to a higher level, or should say grow to that point. He does miss you, but he does not know what to say or how to respond. He is well aware that he hurt your feelings, and this was not his intention. You and he will begin to talk with in a month.
- James

Love Questions: Posted February 20th, 2012

Dear James,
I was in a relationship for about a year and a half, he broke up with me this past February but says he still loves me and we will be together again just not now. I love this man with all my heart Ii have never loved anyone as much as I do him. So what I would like to know is does he still love me? Should I continue to to wait for him? or is it completely over between us? - CAN.

I feel this man is being honest, his true intention is to return to the relationship, and he does love you. This man is trying to find himself and feels that he may be able to do this if he pursues things on his own. Once he feels a little more accomplished in his life he will attempt to get close to you once again, but until that time I advise you to be the positive and happy person that you are. It is important that you do not literally wait for him to move forward in your life. I understand your feelings for this man so leave the situation open, you will hear from him very soon. Try to remember that he has the same memories, shared the same experiences and established the same timing as you. More then anything his break up with you had more to do with frustration with himself, rather then any problems between you and he.
- James

Dear James,
I've been married for two year but with him for 11 year he moved out 3 months ago I don’t why I know that there is a lady that is in the house there were he is I don’t know if he is dating but I thinking she is having a kid by him but I love him to much but if that is true I need to know we have a kid together an he is lying to all his failing that is not good are we getting back together can you help - M.B.

He made certain promises to this woman, and she is holding him to his word. Right now he is leally responsible to you and also to this unborn child. As far as the marriage, the vows have been broken, and there is not much holding it together. The stress of what is happing in his life is already starting to grow, and the next few months are going to be ruff on him. I feel that he will make an attempt to reconcile with you, however by that time your feelings will be different, very strong but different. When the communication between you two is more at ease you will find there is a lot going on with him, things you did not realize. You and he both will become very aware of the affection you still have for each other.
- JamesI feel he is in a position where he cannot. If your break up had to do with an ultimatum or a definition of the future together (where are we going?) He does not know how to respond. At the movies and on TV we always see people asking there love interest to give something up, in an effort to get closer together; in real life this never works. I feel very strongly that it is possible to rekindle this relationship, however this is not the time to put demands on each other, the process of growth must be natural, according to the laws of nature. The first thing to be accomplished is your correct and comfortable communication with each other. Take things calm and slowly and I feel you will get what you desire.- JamesDear James,E and I have broken up. He says he loves me, wants to be with me so why wont he give me what I am asking for? - P.M.






Love Questions: Posted February 13th, 2012

 

Dear James,
I'm married with kids. There is an old friendship and attraction that has been in the past and it's been almost a year and half no contact. Is this over for good or is it coming back into my life. If it's coming back, I’m not sure whether to accept it or refuse it. Thanks for you help! - AW


You do need a lot more information to work with. First of all, he does intend to make a contact, however I also feel that he is very set in his routines of his life, he would be uncomfortable with changing patterns. He very much understands that you and he tend to see each other in an ideal way. We as human beings will establish certain bonding in our past (in most cases our youth) that are very vivid, colorful, and exciting; some are very unique and specific. You and he I feel have established a unique and spiritual bonding with each other a long time ago, and when this is present the possibility of renewal is very strong, His lack of contact does not have so much to do with you, as it does with him. You will be waiting for a lot longer if you wait for him, however I do know he would love to hear from you, in a friendly casual way, but he would not want to interfere with your marriage.
- James

 

Dear James,
I am in a relationship he is in the military he has been gone for a year I have been waiting for him. Since he has been gone, I lost weight and afraid he won't want me has much when he see me. I love him but I don't think his feelings are the same.. Is he loving me the same and/or are we meant for each other? - CL


This is one of those conditions that people refer to as the, Test of time. If the temporary distance is this difficult for you to deal with I would say an engagement or marriage would most likely not last earthier. It is extremely painful to be away or apart from our loved ones, but if this is only about insecurity, you need not worry. I feel this man loves you and his home, and this is why he is there. Extreme insecurity will result in a barrier in your growing relationship with each other. Within the month you will feel a lot better about the future for two reasons, first a conversation you will have with him, even though brief will leave you and also he, feeling more in tune with each other, in the way of seeing the near future in a similar and workable way. Secondly, you will be receiving a letter or card by mail that could lead directly to a financial opportunity. You and this man have a tremendous potential for a very good and evolving relationship, but it is the next couple of months that will tell the tale.
- James

Dear James,
I broke up with my soul mate 3 years ago, to this day I still love him dearly. Just can't seem to let go, often I get intense feelings, it's like I'm picking up on his thoughts and I feel that he misses me. Can you please tell me if we're going to end up together and if he still loves me as in heart of hearts I feel that we will. - CF


You are correct in your feelings and intuitions, and he does feel the same. Through out my career I have been asked the question of, why or when will I be able to let go? Many, many times, and it does not happen. As you, people tend to retain memories that make them feel good, and in romantic relationships people retain the last memories that they left each other with, love, anger, or confusion. By mid February, the opportunity to establish a deeper friendship will present itself. You will find he feels the same however, environmental conditions have changed. Right now you and he have more questions then answers towards each other (in a positive way). I also feel that you are extremely compatible with each other, and will give it another try. If conditions are right, (no barriers) you and he will focus a lot of time towards each other. You will always love each other, and are disappointed that things did not work out. You will find that things you could not talk about before, are now easier to discus this is the beginning.
- James

Love Questions: Posted February 6th, 2012

Dear James,
My husband and I are getting divorced after 4 1/2 yrs of being separated I would like to know if maybe I will meet someone soon and is my husband really over me. – C.

You and your ex-husband will never entirely rid your selves of the memories (good and bad) and experiences that you shared together. I feel there will always be a perceived connection between you two. As far as bad experiences, and also good experiences, these things are a part of your life and also his. I do not feel it will be very long until you are in a secure relationship, as a matter of fact if you were ready you would already be in the type of relationship that you want. It is very important to take ones time in any new relationship. Starting this spring, you will enjoy meeting new people and getting out a bit more. Before the end of summer, you will have established a very good friendship with an individual who sees life in much the same way as you. You and this man will bond very quickly.
- James

Dear James,
I use to see a guy named C. He told me he loved me then didn't hold his word to his promises. We fell apart because of that. He recently came back apologizing to me. Is he the one for me? Is his word true? Does he love me? If he does what prevented him from showing up? - K.

If this relationship is going to last there is a need to relax. C. is being truthful when he told you that he loved you, and I feel you could tell any way, but its always nice to hear. I do not see a big problem, but I would advise you to talk to him and explain how important correct communication is to you. In a balanced relationship there is a great need for understanding, communicating and keeping ones word. The next three months will determine if this relationship is going to work out for both of you, if you last longer then three months the relationship will most likely be a very a long term situation for you and he. C. does love you and he also has long term intentions where you and he are concerned.
- JamesSomehow I feel your ex knows this. You and he (your ex) will try again, but unless there is a genuine effort to resolve issues, he will disappear again. If something is not done, your relationship with this man will continue to be very confusing to you. I feel that you and your ex have built a pattern of entering and leaving, there has got to be a reason, if you and he find out what this reason is, this will be your first step. As far as the person you met is concerned, honesty is the best policy. Try to remember that a true relationship is a two way situation and there must always be mutual consideration. In your personal life, there will be a lot of activity for the next couple of months (a lot of opportunities) and I feel you will be very occupied with something you have been trying to accomplish for a long time; this will be the chance you have been looking for.- JamesDear James,I've spent the past few years trying desperately to sever the connection I had with my ex. During that time, I met another man whom sincerely cares about me, but my heart was still under tight security. Recently I decided to let down my guard some, so that I could give him the chance that he has earned. However, a week after doing so I ran into my ex again and those feelings I was trying to shake came back flooding back again. I know that now us now is not the time to commit to anyone, but am I holding on to my ex because I never received closure or is there a deeper connection. Please help! - A.






Love Questions: Posted January 29th, 2012

Dear James,
Hi, I really like this guy, he supposedly showed me signs that he too liked me, but now he is gone away from my life, but I truly like him I don't know if I will ever meet him again? Please guide me on what his feelings are towards me and if will we ever meet again. Thank You! - S.S.

His exact defined feelings are based on the individual rather then by social categories. One way he tends to see relationships, or the success of relationships is by his personal success in life, career, family and happiness, and peace of mind. His astrological sing of Virgo is considered to be one of the, if not the most favorable signs to work for or with, this is for two reasons; Virgos are extremely friendly and always have many friends, they work very well with others, secondly Virgos tend to be extremely adaptable, they learn and retain very quickly. You will meet up with each other naturally through coincidence, rather then by a planed event. (Within the next four months) the meeting will be joyful and leave both of you feeling good. You will also find that there is no problematic emotional issue going on, the friendship will reignite.
- James

Dear James,
I divorced my ex husband about 2 years ago but realized that I still had very strong feelings and love for him. In that time he started dating someone but while he was dating someone was coming around towards me but couldn't commit to me he would come around then pull away. The last time he pulled away and stayed with her I gave up for the hope that we could have a family again we have a daughter together. I let go and set him free and was ready to move on and once I did that, he came back to me and wanted to remain friends he was pretty persistent about us being friends and staying in contact. So, I let him back into my life because he said that relationship was done so I graciously accepted him. Once I did that he and I hung out and talked on the phone all the time pretty consistently then once he realized we were getting to close he started pulling away and not hanging out and talking as much but he hangs out with women friends and pushes  me to the side as it seems. He plays push pull with me and I am tired of it. I am ready to have a relationship but he is not and he makes that clear. I want to know whether he really wants me in his life to possibly be a family again or should I move on and let go of my hope? He wants to remain friends but doesn't treat me like just a friend because friends don't push friends away when they become close what is this confusing actions mean? Relationship potential or move on?

Dear James,
You and he both know you are very much more then friends; the word friend, or just keeping things on a friendly basis only means he has no response to issue. When a person is in an acknowledged (verbally acknowledged) relationship, going together, engaged, or promised that pretty much gives a person a right to ask personal questions but, if you are in an acknowledged friendship, friends do not have that right (to get so personal). I feel all he means is that he does not know how to respond, when a person does not know how to respond they become silent, if they continue to not know what to say or respond they become distant. I feel you relationship can develop in to something more committed, but I also feel it will take a while (around a year). I do not feel that this man is ready for the type of relation ship you want now, but you have a very good chance of getting to that point, naturally but there must not be any third party influences.
- James

Dear James,
Can you please tell me if my ex girlfriend will ever return to me, we've been together for 7 years when she decided to end it because of some bad company! can u please tell me if we were meant to be together or not? - U.S.

There will be a time with in three weeks or so, that you and she will need to talk or communicate in some way; E-mail, or letter. The issue will be communicated by a mutual friend or family member. This is not an issue that is important to any one except you and she, It will not be an emergency situation, but one of a message of some sort. It will be nice to communicate with one another however, the same issues will still be there. You will find that she is not as influenced by others, as before. There is a desire common to both of you; to hear each other’s voice. It is as if you and she only faded away from each other, there was no closure to your relationship from the past.
- James

Love Questions: Posted January 22nd, 2012

Dear James,
I was talking to 'C' until he broke my heart to pieces. Then I met 'M' who made me happy and loved again. I was looking forward to a future with him until cancer took him from me 6 moths later. I miss him deeply. Then 'C' came back around asking for another shot. Was 'M’ the one I was meant to be with? Am I supposed to give 'C' another shot? Will I meet another man who I'm meant to be with? If so, when will I meet him? Thank you so much for your insight. - K

It’s entirely up to the individual, who they desire to allow into there lives. What a lot of people define as the right person is usually someone who reinforces a person’s faith in them selves, other people, or life in general. I feel you are fortunate to have love in your life. If you feel that you need time to think, and to define what you really want out of life; I advise you to take, as much time as you need, an individual who loves you would understand this completely. A person who has gone through a loss needs time to heal and attempt to come to an understanding. C does love you truly and should understand. I do see if you take the time for your self you will get to the point where you are more defined and confident in your decision, but I feel its to soon right now. Give this situation at least three months, then you will be very sure of your actions; and of this, I am positive.
- James

Dear James,
I met a guy a year ago. His voice is what attracted me to him. After I got to see his looks, he was someone who caught my attention, definitely! We've had conversations and made little efforts to make it more from us both, but it's as if we want to, but we both pull back. I am just wondering...What, if anything do you see in future for us. I think I really like him and his ways. He is a genuine man. How does he feel and what will happen? I don't know if I could see him with another woman. That's crazy, since he is not mine. Yet? - Y

A lot of people like to think of there decision to pursue another is based on logic and a spiritual feeling, but in reality that feeling comes through time and various interactions. What attracts people to each other is in most cases some sort of physical attribute, looks, voice, and the way a person presents them selves. My personal feeling is that you and he are very much in touch with each other in a very realistic way, and he does also notice this. I do believe that he is also becoming surer about how you feel towards him; your friendship will continue and intensify through out the next couple of months. By spring, you and he will be involved in a more defined relationship; but for now, correct and accurate communication is what is called for and it is already started.
- James

Dear James,
My lover and I have gone our separate ways. We had a great connection in the beginning of our relationship and made each other very happy. Great stress has affected our relationship and has led to trust issues. He has asked for time and space due to the continuous stress from work/life and confusion between us. Does he mean this time and space to be permanent or temporary until some relief from the stressful situations is found. I feel like we have a wonderful connection to each other but now am not so sure. I am afraid this is a permanent end to our relationship. Thank you. – EB

He intends this to be a temporary situation, just as he has indicated. A lot of people deal with stress and anxiety by Systematic elimination; what I mean exactly is that he traces his stress to outside sources (money, type of employment, or relationship, etc...) and the way to deal with the stress and being overwhelmed is to let this and that go, to be able to focus and devote more attention to other things that are more important. I feel this is all he is trying to say. Where your relationship is concerned, it is one thing he can count on, one thing that he is confident of. He will succeed in his efforts and you will be there to enjoy the benefits and joys of an uncomplicated and trustful relationship. As a true friend, I do believe you know this, encourage him to deal with the stress in a healthy way, and as a result of this support, your personal relationship will strengthen and become more satisfying for both of you.
- James

Love Questions: Posted January 16th, 2012

 

Dear James,
I'm married with kids. There is an old friendship and attraction that has been in the past and it's been almost a year and half no contact. Is this over for good or is it coming back into my life. If it's coming back, I’m not sure whether to accept it or refuse it. Thanks for you help! - AW

You’ll need more information to work with. First of all, he does intend to make a contact, however I also feel that he is very set in his routines of his life, he would be uncomfortable with changing patterns. He very much understands that you and he tend to see each other in an ideal way. We as human beings will establish certain bonds in our past (in most cases our youth) that are very vivid, colorful, and exciting; some are very unique and specific. You and he I feel have established a unique and spiritual bonding with each other a long time ago, and when this is present the possibility of renewal is very strong, His lack of contact does not have so much to do with you, as it does with him. You will be waiting for a lot longer if you wait for him, however I do know he would love to hear from you, in a friendly casual way, but he would not want to interfere with your marriage.
- James? 

Dear James,
I am in a relationship he is in the military he has been gone for a year I have been waiting for him. Since he has been gone, I lost wait and afraid he won't want me has much when he see me. I love him but I don't think his feels r the same. Does he love me the same and are we meant for each other? - CL

These are one of those conditions that people refer to as the, Test of time. If the temporary distance is this difficult for you to deal with, I would say an engagement or marriage would most likely not last either. It is extremely painful to be away or apart from our loved ones, but if this is only about insecurity, you need not worry. I feel this man loves you and his home, and this is why he is there. Extreme insecurity will result in a barrier in your growing relationship with each other. Within the month, you will feel a lot better about the future for two reasons, first a conversation you will have with him, even though brief will leave you and also him, feeling more in tune with each other, in the way of seeing the near future in a similar and workable way. Secondly, you will be receiving a letter or card by mail that could lead directly to a financial opportunity. You and this man have a tremendous potential for a very good and evolving relationship, but it is the next couple of months that will tell the tail.
- James

Dear James,
I broke up with my soul mate 3 years ago, to this day I still love him dearly. Just can't seem to let go, often I get intense feelings, it's like I'm picking up on his thoughts and I feel that he misses me. Can you please tell me if we're going to end up together and if he still loves me as in heart of hearts, I feel that we will? - CF

You are correct in your feelings and intuitions, and he does feel the same. Through out my career I have been asked the question of, why or when will I be able to let go? Many, many times, and it does not happen. As you, people tend to retain memories that make them feel good, and in romantic relationships people retain the last memories that they left each other with, love, anger, or confusion. By mid February, the opportunity to establish a deeper friendship will present itself. You will find he feels the same, however environmental conditions have changed. Right now you and he have more questions then answers towards each other (in a positive way). I also feel that you are extremely compatible with each other, and will give it another try. If conditions are right, (no barriers) you and he will focus a lot of time towards each other. You will always love each other, and are disappointed that things did not work out. You will find that things you could not talk about before are now easier to discus, this is the beginning.
- James

Love Questions: Posted January 9th, 2012

Dear James,
I was helping a friend and coworker through a hard situation that I too had been through and we both found we had feelings for one another. He has some things to work out with his ex girlfriend and the mother of his child therefore we decided to be friends for now yet he kissed me right after we had that conversation. The whole situation is terrifying and confusing for me. Will we ever be anything more than friends? - E.B.

It feels very good when someone understands you, and listens, you can identify with them and they with you. People a lot of the time will confuse interest with romantic affection. First of all, you do not want to become this person’s counselor, and that is beginning. If his intention is to repair the relationship with his ex girlfriend, he is not going about it correctly. The attraction is genuine, and the mutual interest is also present, however he has informed you of his desire to patch things up with the mother of his child. I advise you to keep things friendly if possible. If it is not possible just to be friends, it is necessary to break away from each other, before things become serious. You would not be happy being the other woman. If this man eventually approaches you with out any obligations or conditions, then may be slowly because you really do not know each other as well as you think I advise you to try to take his attention to you as a compliment; that is all. I feel his situation is a lot more complicated then you realize.
- James

Dear James,
I met this really cute busy guy named J. back in September. He is extra busy and works in the medical field as a professional. I was instantly attracted but doubtful about him ever landing a chance with me. I saw some signs that he seemed a bit interested in me so I gave him my number. I was so freaking shy the last day I saw him on my nephews appointment. I was rose red with melting to the floor after he went out of the room a lot. He must have kept me in there for so long, because we were there for a few hours. I felt a bit nervous at the same time but felt like love at first sight. Eye candy, lol. I kept missing some restricted number phone calls. Did he ever contact me or will he contact me at all? – J.

I feel strongly that he is very attracted to you, and would be motivated towards a relationship; however, he would also feel uninformed about you. You and he have several questions about each other and will get an opportunity to talk and get to know each other better (with in a month). He would also be very careful of any sort of personal or private matters interfering with his career or employment. He will contact you soon, but he has not tried yet.
- James

Dear James,
I recently met a guy in a party. Surprisingly, his mom approached my mom since we shared the same table asking details about me. She seems really interested about me, she then consequently asked for my number for her son. The moment her son and I looked at each other feels electric, I felt the intense attraction. He texted me, and I felt that he likes me too. However, the texting stopped suddenly which made me wonder. Why doesn’t he pursue me then? However, there's this thing that bothers me the most, the age gap. He's 12-13 years older than I am, I'm still studying, and he's already had a career and the like. I can't stop thinking about him, and I bet he also does, I can feel it. I can’t really assess if a guy likes me through intuition, but sometimes I doubt it since some of them just don't end up as the perfect guy for me, they won't pursue me in the end. I just don't know why I always end up being frustrated. It's always been the same story. Humility aside, I'm beautiful and I have brains, and yes, I can easily attract guys, but I can't find Mr. Right. Why's that so? - C

I feel that this is a very nice man, however you did not find each other, it has been initiated by some one else. In some cultures, this is the way to do things, and in a lot of cases it works, it really depends how traditional a person is. By this time next year you will find yourself in the mist of a beneficial and happy relationship, people will try to rush you and him in your relationship (marriage, or engagement) and if you and he rush, it will not work. It will be natural for you and he to enjoy being with each other. One way you will recognize him is that the interest you have in each other, will never stop. You will meet up with each other as a result of a religious occasion, or being involved in the same club or student organization, and this will intensify your affection. I also feel at first your family may not be very impressed with him, however when they see that you are happy and enthusiastic in life, on a consistent bases, there feelings will change. He will be 3-6 years older than you.
- James

Love Questions: Posted January 2nd, 2012

Dear James,
I have been so in love with my husband since I was 19 yrs old. We got married in 2003, but he was locked down (in jail) but it seems now that he is home nothing is working for us, can u tell me will we last or should we just move on? I love him with all my heart but I can't be with someone who only thinks of them self. It will hurt but I know it will be for the best because no one likes to be hurt or used. He has cheated already but I'm trying hard to for give him. Please help. – DW.

Unfortunately When infidelity is concerned most of time forgiveness is really not enough. Depending how long he was incarcerated, there is necessity to reacquaint with each other, if not pressure builds from both ends. When a person is incarcerated for an amount of time the mind set changes. Just like a service man or woman after an intense mission, there is a need to let go of defensiveness and readjust to and in the case of military personal there are programs to assist in the readjustment, and coping with the stress involved. In the case of people in prison there is rarely that opportunity. I feel he will get back on a positive track, it will take time and effort. Sense the infidelity occurred the marriage ended (or the common image of the future you and he once had is gone) to reestablish this common image in a positive way, I advise you and he to take a break from each other, for a little while and see if you still see life together in a productive and happy way (In the case of a marriage, the redoing of the vows). These issues can be dealt with and healed, that is if you and he still want to, if you and he still have the desire. You and he have been together a long time, and you both know that people change, the issue is can you accomplish a happy life together, or not. I feel you can accomplish this, you are both strong people and I feel you can succeed at re-bonding, but for now a bit of distance is what is called for.
- James

Dear James,
I have been involved with a man (E) off and on for over 12 years, been just friends at first and then in a love relationship. At this point, we are officially not together but he has long deep conversations with me telling me he loves me and wants us to clear things up to get past our issues to be together. I think he's involved with another woman (N) but adamantly denies it. His behavior of disappearing and being distant at times raises red flags for me. However, when asked about it, he says I need too much attention. This is untrue, we spend little time together, and he does not take me out. I feel I'm being played a fool. Please tell me if I am wasting my love and energy on someone who has no intention of committing to me. – PL.

You and E have been in a very romantic relationship for a very long time, and have grown to love each other. But when it comes to a realistic relationship it may be difficult. You and E have grown accustom to the romantic aspect (being able to prepare to see each other) arranging to meet up, looking a nice as possible, and we cant forget the anticipation, this is romantic relationship. A lot of men will see the convenience of a relationship like this, romance with out effort or any sort of obligation, or plan. If you and he find the happiness with each other in a realistic relationship, it would be great. I strongly feel that he wants to try, but he is use to the way things have been for over 12 years. I also feel that it will be difficult to get use to a realistic situation, But it is possible and can be accomplished. You and he are more accustom and similar then you realize, and more in love then you realize. It only takes the human mind 90 days to establish or break any routine, you have had over 12 years involved with each other, and your affection for each other is noticed by all.
- James

Dear James,
My husband broke my heart and he doesn’t even speak with me. He abandoned me at my sister’s house telling me that he was coming to work things out. I am also sick a lot, I lost 40 pounds, so he told that he couldn't take care of me anymore, his parents told him to leave me here before I die, and they always tried to break us up, they did this again. He abandoned me in Texas. Anyway, I told him that I had the feeling that this was going to happen but he assured me before he went back that wasn’t the case... After a week, he stopped answering the phone and he never called me back. It’s been a few months now and I can live without him. I loveed him, I realize that I maybe made a mistake also being sick didn't help the relationship, and his parents told him that he go back alone they will give him the job back and a room and the house but not with me... They never loved me or liked me they always talk bad about me, anyway! Can you help me do you see that he’ll comeback with me and call me and help me to not die here alone? - C.

This man does love you and I feel he will find the courage to contact you, but right now he has a lot of guilt about how this situation occurred. Even though his parents sort of instigated this situation, they do mean well. I feel he became overwhelmed with the relationship and felt helpless to help you, and this does hurt a great deal. He knows how you must feel, and really does not want you to feel disappointed in him, or see him in a negative way. He will see if the promisses made to him will manifest or not, no matter what he will contact you. You see this man wants it all the financial security and you and he will attempt to acquire both, he does hold a bit of resentment for having to make this choice. He is well aware that the only people that truly understand there affection for each other, are the man and woman involved with each other, others have no way of understanding the intricacies of a love between two people. Give him a little more time to accomplish what he has planed. For you this is an opportunity to meditate pray, and follow your heart, I feel a lot of people love you and would like to hear from you or see you. With in two months you will have the opportunity.
-James

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