Home: Ask a Love Psychic: Answers From October, November, and December 2011

James

James, ext. 7058

From an early age James has been aware of the energy and feelings of others, the first aspect of being an intuitive. The powers were so strong it prompted him to be of service to others. Through 33 years of practice and professional study he has the ability to guide people through the paths of their lives, the ups and downs, the realistic issues, surrounding relationships and love, career, money and spirituality. His techniques include clairvoyance, tarot, astrology and Native American totems and animal guides. He looks forward to speaking to you soon so that you may begin your path to insight.


Love Questions: Posted December 26th, 2011

Dear James,
As much as I’ve enjoyed the beautiful journey of the single life, though I’ve been happy while regaining my physical strength & getting to know myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, I still feel I'm missing something--I am still in love with my ex, B, male whom I feel is my soul mate. We'd dated for 16 months since meeting in September of 2009, broken up this past February & I’ve always sensed a strange spiritual connection between the two of us, even though we'd finally ceased contact a few months back, as if there's unfinished business between us--is there a possibility he's still attracted to me/has feelings for me? Will we ever reconcile & reunite? If so, when & how? Is this love worth a second try or... Better to leave the situation as-is without closure? - LB. 

I feel that this man feels the same way towards you. When an individual leaves a relationship suddenly with out provocation, or without establishing some sort of finalization (or closure) it means they are not sure of their actions, and 99% of the time they intend to return. He does not want you to move on, and does want you to retain the hope of reconciliation. You and he are definitely going to have a chance to reestablish you relationship, but the relationship must move towards a more committed situation if its going to work out. We must remember that the first expression of love is not romance it is concern about the object of you affection. He knows you love him and are more worried then mad, but at this time he would also feel that he let you down (he does not want to see him in a bad way). At first he will call on the phone (to hear your voice) and this will be the start of your reconciliation. (around the beginning of the year). He has a lot to discus with you.
- James

Dear James,

I am falling in love with S. He says he does not want to be committed and says he likes me as a friend yet he is intimate with me... I want to know if he loves me. Is he the one for me? If not, can you give me a sign I can recognize when the right one comes along? Such as date and his first name? - TY. 

Intimacy does not require commitment, it would be nice, but commitment takes a bit more involvement. You and he will remain friends, but you just do not want the same thing out of life. I feel that you and the one who is right for you will meet very soon (February or March) this meeting will around music (Live music) you will find his name or nick- name starts with an R. There is a very strong possibility that he will be involved in the entertainment industry. Another way you will recognize him, will be that he plays the guitar or sings, maybe both. I feel you and he will have a very good time with each other every time you meet up, and this will result in a mutual desire to be with each other.
- James

Dear James,

I told my boyfriend I cheated on him and he's really heart broken. He’s been locked up for almost 2 years. He needs 2 more months and then he gets out. I told him I was so sorry and I asked him to forgive me. I’m scared he's going to leave me and I don’t want that. We have a close bond and I want to keep it like that...you think he'll forgive me and love me the same? I jus want us to be a happy family because we have a 16 month old baby girl together. Gosh, I hope I don’t lose him for good. - CG. 

Considering his current situation, I feel this news hit him rather hard. The first thing that a person thinks about when something like this occurs, is to take some sort of action, and being incarcerated he can not. As far as your relationship is concerned, I feel the love you have for each other can get you through this, although I also feel that as a couple you would be better off starting over again and reestablishing your bonding with each other. You and this man have been blessed with a child, and it is this little girl who will give you and he the strength to make things work. The love between you three is very powerful and can withstand a mistake; that is if love is strong enough, and it is. 
- James

 

Love Questions: Posted December 19th, 2011

Dear James,
I have been having issues with my husband (who happens to be a great guy; it's just not working out). In April, I started seeing a man who was working at the same building (in our neighborhood) where I was working 3 days a week. (Our jobs were irrelevant to one another.) The man was CRAZY about me and talked about having a future with me. We didn't yet have the chance to sleep together (partly because of the limitations - since I'm married and it wasn't so easy to get out without it seeming strange), but we definitely planned on and looked forward to being intimate, and spending more time together. Six weeks into our rendezvous (around Memorial Day Weekend), practically overnight, he withdrew from me, and whereas he was always the one to pursue me, I had to track him down to get answers. Needless to say, it was very painful. I still don't believe his excuses (problems with his daughter, who found out about us; stress at the job -- though he WAS under a lot of pressure; fear of colleagues and people in the neighborhood finding out about us). I found out it's part of his culture to DROP a woman if she hasn't put out, which makes me question whether he was ever sincere. Two other psychics told me he was playing me the whole time, but I have trouble believing there weren't genuine feelings from him. I did freak out when I was sensing his withdrawal, but I thought he forgave that. What's his story? Was he leading me on - and will I ever see him again? - AR.

I do not feel that he was playing around, he is a very nice man, and things just went way too far. He merely noticed the feelings that were starting to develop between you two. At the movies and on TV we always see simple physical relationships, with no emotional ties. This is impossible as human beings, we develop emotional ties. This man is genuinely attracted to you, and your attention (in the beginning) is a great compliment to him. Working in the same building is convenient however; a lot of careers have been ruined not by actuality, but by rumor. I feel this man also noticed that something was and is wrong with your marriage and simply does not want to get involved. It seems to me that you are a very nice woman and you don’t really need this. I do not see things going further between you and he, and this may be best for both of you. A physical relationship never solves the emotional issues of an established or committed relationship (as a marriage) it only distracts from the problem at hand, and adds guilt and a poor self image to an already very stressful situation. I strongly feel that you will take the next three months to look deeply within your self, for solutions to your dilemma; This will work if the thought and meditation are initiated with faith and strength.
- James

Dear James,
I wanted know will things workout for me & my husband M, we have been having a hard time. We’ve been married 8 yrs. However, it just seems as if nothing is going right for us. A lot of times I feel as if he is cheating & he wants out I don't know what to do or say any more it's getting hard. I’ve been in love with my husband since I was 19 yrs old. - DW.

If his real desire was to leave I feel he would do it, however I see that. He is also very confused about what is happening(emotional distance) between you two. You and he both are being very observant of each other (analyzing each others behavior), you do know each other very well, and are able to do this, under the correct circumstances. As far as another person being involved, I really do not see it. He finds one relationship to be stressful enough at this time he does not want to add to the stress; and its extremely important to remember that he does love you. You and he will talk things out and find that you do feel the same (you miss each other). It is essential that you and he rediscover each other. I would advise you and he to start dating again. What I mean is doing things together that bring you joy and laughter. At first plan things out (calendar, babysitter, etc..) once you and he see that the feelings you have for each other have not gone away they are just a little hidden. The key right now is a common hart felt project. You Will Succeed.
- James

Dear James,
I am recently divorced. Will my ex-husband and I get to a point where we are friends? Will I have a new romantic relationship soon? Will my children be close to me again in the near future and allow me to see my grandchildren?
Thanks so much! - BS.

You and he will become, or should I say reestablish your friendship, but now right now, in time .I do feel that you children already have a desire for you to be happy, I do not feel that they are mad just disappointed; sort of disassociating them selves from the situation altogether. You will have an opportunity to see each other, and this will happen soon. No matter how much grief you and he have caused each other, I do not see your ex husband as being a mean man. I do feel very strongly that time will heal this uncomfortable situation. I know you do not see things this way, but you are still bonded to each other, and have been blessed with children. You and he are never going to be far from each other, and the mutual understanding will evolve. Even though the marriage did not work, in time a friendship will succeed.
- James

Love Questions: Posted December 12th, 2011

Dear James,
I have been in a relationship for over two and a half years, three in February. Most of the time of the relationship has been long distance, a separation by a three hour drive one way. We were somehow able to get through the distance, crap work schedules, and other personal schedules and make this work out. I just recently moved in with him, and it was not quite, what I had envisioned. There seems to be a little bit of tension between us and it seems that neither one of us is getting some form of attention or validation we are looking for. I love this man more than I ever thought I could love someone, and I want to give him the emotional and mental validation that he needs. What type of validation could he be looking for and how would I go about giving it to him? Is there a ring, wedding bells, and family in our future? How soon could I hope for this? - AP.

Your love and reinforcement is the only thing that this man wants (as far as validation) Essentially making the decision to live with someone tends to be almost exactly like a marriage and in most religious or spiritual traditions, that’s exactly what it is, a marriage. Every marriage (or cohabitation)) involves stress, and there is a time of transition. We all must be very careful not to try to change the one we love. Things are going to be a bit different, when we move from romance in to reality. I would advise a little more time and patience. I do feel very strongly that you love each other deeply, and you are both very concerned about each other and making the relationship work. I also feel that you and he need a common point of focus, not each other, but a common and growing point of interest, what I mean is maybe the same hobbies, a club, or a common interest in any spiritual tradition. The advantage in most marriages is the establishment of a common image of the future, being together; and in the case of a marriage a promise to higher power and each other, marked by ritual or ceremony. It will work and become stronger and more fulfilling, just give it a little time (At lest three months) the holiday season is a wonderful time to bond and enjoy special time with each other.
- James

Dear James,
My ex-boyfriend R and I were together for 4 years. We were lived together for most of that time. Almost a month and a half ago he broke up with me. I really miss him. He still wants to be friends. It wasn't a mean breakup, he was as kind as he could be, and he held me and cried with me. What I want to know is, will we get back together for good and eventually get married? - LC.

I do feel that he meant what he said, at that time, but his motivation for this was some kind of a personal disappointment. I see that he wants to succeed in life, and wants things to run smoothly (just like all of us) and this man also misses you very much. You will see a big change in this man, he will be receiving news that will pick up his mood and give him a positive and hopeful view of the future, and you will be the one that he wishes to share this good news with. As far as marriage is concerned, you and he are already preparing for this union, and I do believe you and he are each other’s destiny.
- James

Dear James,
My love R and I have gone thru some changes and I really would like to know if her love and heart are still for me. Is she being faithful? We both have suffered and been hurt I can’t describe what I’m feeling I just know that she was the star in my life as I was her pup and will do anything if it’s meant to be. - BK.

This woman was and is interested in you, what you do, how you think and your motivation in life. If you have been focusing totally on her and not your self, this could be a part of your predicament. If in your attempt to win her hart, you have only been concerned with her, she may be feeling a bit smothered. I would advise you to pursue your interests, and the things in life that give you pleasure (not only her, but including her) I feel you are a very interesting person, and its important to let her see it. Being unfaithful is not a part of this situation. Human beings have a way of getting use to patterns and rhythms of life; I suggest that you do not change yourself, just add a little change to your patterns and rhythms, and the change that you desire will manifest itself.
- James

Love Questions: Posted December 5th, 2011

 

Dear James,
I am in love with a married man. I have a man I have been friends with for 15 years and had a on again off again romantic relationship with for 12 years. We had planned to get married but split up before we got married. Ten months after we split up, he got married. I miss him so much, think about him everyday, and can't let him go for some reason. When we split, he told me he wanted to remain friends but when I tried to contact him a few months after we split he said he would never talk to me again. I have tried seeing other guys but am still in love with the married man. I need to know if I am wasting my time still waiting for him to come back or if we will have a romantic relationship in the future. I also need to know if we can't have a romantic relationship if we will be friends that hang out on a regular basis. - JC.


Relationships are like finger prints, no two are exactly the same. I do feel very strongly the he retains the same memories as you, good and not so good. The aspect in a relationship; of getting together and breaking up, over and over again does tend to get frustrating. I have no drought that you share affection and concern, but entering reality has evaded you both. I also see that he is going to give his marriage his best effort, he has found more permanence in his life, he knows what it is like to love someone and lose someone that you love ( you). I know that you genuinely love this man, and that will not change. In your concern for his happiness, it’s important to allow him to pursue his marriage, and fulfill his spiritual commitment, undisturbed. There is a very strong possibility that you could become close friends, but not now, its way to soon. It is also important to remember that the type of relationship in your destiny is also a committed one; in this area, you will have no problems.
- James

Dear James,
Which girl am I suppose to be with JS or LE? I love L she was my girl for two years but me and J are very close and we love each other but we never showed it too much. I’m in a situation where I'm single and I want one or the other but I don’t know whom I should be with. Do either of these girls even love me? Or want to be with me? I’m so confused. - JS.


Reentering a relationship with LE, if she feels the same, would involve a more defined future in the way of a long term commitment (Engagement) or actively working towards that point. Considering how you also feel about JS I would not consider an engagement at this time, you must be very sure, and consider if you and she see the future in the same way. Where JS is concerned, I feel she also likes you; however, her career and personal success are her main pursuits at this time. I do feel your situation with JS will evolve into a closer and more defined relationship, this will take a little time, however it will occur. You will feel less confused and more relaxed after the next couple of months.
- James

Dear James,
My boyfriend and I just separated for about a week now. He wanted kids with me but he seems as if he wasn't meeting me half way... He also says he loves me but his actions prove me different. Dose he love me? In addition, will we get back together? - KL.

He does love you, but I feel that he is telling you the things he feels you want to hear. A lot of people want children, but when the harsh reality of life enters (Finances, career, obligations) some people will think twice and three times. You will get back together, however this time I would advise you and he to define what you really want out of life, if it’s being together in life, I would advise you to work on it; create what you want. If one of his concerns is financial, he will not have that problem for very long, and I feel you will see a more confident and happier man. He will have a much better view of the future, and of course, this involves you. Right now, you and he both are missing the pattern and rhythm of being with each other.
- James

Love Questions: Posted November 27th, 2011

 

Dear James,
Did he have genuine feelings for me - or did he only want one "thing" from me? Did he cut me off because he hadn't yet gotten it from me, because it became too intense, or some other reason - and will I see him again? – A.R.

To avoid this type of feeling its very important to know a person very well before allowing yourself to establish strong feelings. I feel that this man was very taken with you, as you were with him. I also feel very strongly that he is confused about what to do next (regarding you.) In a way you know each other very well, in another way you know very little about each other. You will hear from this man within the month; however, you will find his life is not exactly easy, he is going through a process of self awareness; deciding which direction to pursue in his life. After a good talk, and becoming more informed about each other, you will become very close friends. But I feel there may be an obstacle to a relationship.
- James

Dear James,
My ex and I were together for 19 months. We have been split up for 2 months and there has been no contact. Does he miss me? Will he ever call me again? We did have a good relationship and the break up was a shock. – L.

Yes, he does miss you as much as you miss him. I know it’s hard to see the logic in his actions; but I feel that your feelings are reflected, or mirrored, shared experiences, kept and broken promises, and most important feelings of love and attachment. He sees a complete relationship in the way of mind, body, and spirit. This man is interested in you, he always has been, and knows you have always been interested in him, he is also aware of the love you feel for him, and he does feel the same. He also feels that you are a very positive influence in his life. He will reenter your life very soon, but what has occurred is that your relationship has entered realistic phase. When he does contact you (before Christmas) I would advise you to emphasize the importance of remaining in contact with each other, if not his avoidance behavior will continue.
- James

Dear James,
My parents recently split after twenty years together because my dad met a woman in his gaming community who swears she is leaving her husband and family behind to be with him. This would be ok except she told him this in May and its now October, my parents divorce is nearly final and she is still living at home with her husband, and my dad is giving up his family here and all of his possessions like home and pets to run off across the country to be with her. My mom is convinced that my parents are soul mates and meant to be together, my dad is being played by a great manipulator and about to learn a huge life lesson, and my dad is just 'doing what he HAS to do." Who is right and who is wrong? - S.

It is never right to abandon your family and your responsibilities. His difficulties have already started, fantasy is now becoming reality. I feel that she may be having second thoughts. A lot of times people will change there minds when they consider how much they have to lose. I also feel that this woman is super concerned about how other people will be affected (family and friends). Your father is already seeing this, and of course, he is missing his family. He will make an attempt to return, and also heal. Right now, he is not feeling real good, it will be a phone call and hearing the voices he misses that will give him the courage and reinforcement to return and begin the healing process. Try not to be so hard on him every body makes mistakes; He has made a big mistake and he realizes this. Even though you feel very bad about this (it’s a natural feeling) know you are not a part of the problem, but you are an extremely important part of the solution.
- James

Love Questions: Posted November 21st, 2011

Dear James,
My question is, Will N. love me and be in a relationship with me? When and how? Alternatively, what should I do to make him come back to me? We were together for 6 months and broke up a few months ago. I love and miss him to death and want him to stay with me. - SW

First of all a person can not really make someone come to them, or that matter love them. I feel nicks lack of attention to you is intentional. Your curiosity and lack of definition is keeping the potential relationship on going. He will make an appearance or contact you very soon (around new years Eve.) And attempt to explain the lack of contact. Your situation with each other is more like a marriage then a non-committed relationship, and I feel it must be treated that way. After gaining perspective you and he both will be able to talk about how much you have missed each other, I feel strongly that you and he will both desire to give your relationship another try. You will succeeded.
- James

Dear James,
I was dating the Guy for 4 years we broke up but we still contact each other. He now has a girlfriend. Does he at all still love me, or is he still in love with me? I care for him very much, but I don't if he feels the same way about me. Is he going to come back or r we done. This girl that he is seeing now, is it going to work between them and does he want to marry me? – EM

The question of marriage is totally out of the realm of possibility; I understand that feelings of love and attachment are sometimes overwhelming. I also feel that he and she will give there relationship a realistic try, how ever its not as intense as it seems to you. Its advisable to remain friends and stay in communication with each other. Because of the new relationship he is involved with, If it will one day work out between you two, if would have to start all over again, there would have to be another spiritual bonding with each other. I do strongly feel that he will make an attempt to get close to you again, but by that time you will be involved with another.
- James

Dear James,
I met this guy bout a year ago we have held a phone relationship he does ministrey music and has been on tour most the time it was getting very regular the contact between there was a incident that happened and it has been the same . Will talk every now and then I want to know if I leave it alone I missed my chance or should I continue to pursue him I have grown very fond of him he's everything I want in a man everything in me says failure isn't a option but its hurting me too much to just hang around waiting please help me thank you and have a blessed day. - SMD

I do feel that your friendship must become a bit more complete, He knows how serious your feelings are for him, however right now his major goal is to get his message to as many people as possible. He is also well aware that if he is troubled or going through a great deal of emotional stress or confusion, he will not be able to give his music his best effort. There are numerous musicians every where, but it is very rare to be able to work in the field, and even rarer to find lasting success, it takes commitment and perseverance. He is trying very hard to focus on the current tour, and in the process reinforce his faith. You and he will have an opportunity to discus the incident that prompted this current situation with each other. The first thing to be accomplished is to regain your trusting friendship with each other (this will be very easy to do), but now he is very close to reaching his dream, or musical goals; and he can feel it. Its not real easy to establish a meaningful relationship with an active working musician, the relationship must be very, very secure (on both sides). You and he both are very nice people, and will get through this effectively, however understanding is the key.
- James

Love Questions: Posted November 14th, 2011

Dear James,
My question is: will the love of my life ever return to me? Long story short we were together for 4 years I was going to marry this man I still have the ring. I let him go because of an addiction issue that he had with alcohol. He did not feel that he needed help with it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, I have never had a connection with someone that felt so completely right in every way right down to my very soul and I know for fact the same was true for him. Well he ended up going to jail for 2 years because of too many DUI we did keep in contact though letters he has now been home for almost 2 years now. He is living with another woman. He told that he was committed to that relationship instead of the one he wished he had (meaning me) What to do he's forever in me will he be back or should I just stop hoping. The problem with that is I have so much faith that two people that are so right with each other should be together! Please help! - R.L.V.

?I do feel you are correct about the connection between you two, however he is also being honest with you about the current situation in his life, moving forward in a positive way, I do feel strongly that this is working for him. Feelings where you are concerned are strong; what I mean is his feelings for you are mirrored. (The same as yours.) I do also feel that his major focus is control, not of others but himself .If you really love this man, and I do believe its true, there is a need to give him time. True spiritual soul mates will always be connected in a way that will last forever. I feel there nothing wrong with your friendship, however if the implication of a relationship, or rekindling the relationship right now, would interfere with a comfortable ability to communicate. I advise a friendship right now, and a close friendship is defiantly possible.?- James

Dear James,
I have I am going out with girl friend about 4yrs and things have changed in our sex life, and things changed in our daily life. We barely talk; the funny thing is we live in the same place. I want to know if she has someone else that reason why she acted like because I’m ready to move on please tell me what to do - G.V. ??

You and she have been in a very romantic relationship for a long time and I feel that’s great. Nevertheless, at the present you and she both are entering a realistic faze, which does not mean the romance is over, (I feel you and she are still very attracted to each other) it means you are both wondering what the future holds as a couple. If you compliment each other, in the way sharing life and each other’s ambitions and goals, you will continue to evolve with each other. Talk to each other about this, you’ll find that you feel the same. As far as another man, I really don’t see it; I do not feel that she would add to the confusion, and she would not do anything to hurt you.?- James

Dear James,
Can you help me with a matter of the heart? I am so in love with my ex-boyfriend. He had promised me that he would come to be with me. It's been 6 months now & he never did come, I was told that we were bound to be together that we were soul mates. What do you think? I think about him everyday I can’t sleep at night with out crying about him, and at times I think I could feel him thinking of me. At least I think that what I feel. Do you think that he will really be with me? Please tell me I can’t move on I feel stuck. - C.P.??

You should not feel stuck or disappointed; you only need information from him to proceed. He is aware of this, and I know it does not make a lot of sense but I feel this is his way of holding on, or making sure you do not forget him Right you and he both, have more questions then answers about each other. You will connect with each other before the end of the year, and I feel you will be very surprised by what he has to say. After a good conversation with each other, you will understand his circumstances, and I feel very strongly that you and he will give your relationship another chance.
- James

Love Questions: Posted November 7th, 2011

Dear James,
My ex and I parted ways back in February she has since moved on with her 3rd cousin who moved here from across seas, but I can't stop thinking about her. We were going to have a child and get married, she abruptly changed her mind, when we found out she wasn't pregnant in January. Things got really bad, I feel as though her family had a lot to do with it, as we were an interracial couple. I don't think they approved of us being together from the start. However, they approve of her being with her 3 rd cousin whom is a woman also. I just don't understand why I feel as though I still could be in love with her after we broke up and less than a week later, she had moved on. She then told me she was never in love with me and she was sorry she wasted 4 years of my life, she cared for me deeply and loved me, but she was never in love and never wanted to have a child. Even though she was the one who initiated trying to have a child. She also told me her family never liked me, all of this out the blue. I don't understand what went wrong and why and she isn't giving me any answers and never has. She told me everyday for 4 years she was in love and I was the love of her life, how in such a short time could it have been reduced to I never loved you. Sad part is I think I'm still in love with her after 7 months of us being apart. We don't speak or talk. Why do I feel this way please help - J

The first mistake I see is that you accepting her definition of the past as fact, actually her actions would indicate the opposite. This woman has a lot of unresolved issues going on, not just her situation with you but other facets of her current life. I would advise you not to feel guilty about this, or try to see details of your past with her, this type of self analysis will only tend to confuse you. There is a great deal going on with her at present, that you simply have no way of knowing or seeing. I do feel her maternal feelings are genuine and a very big part of her inner emotions and instincts. There are a lot of reasons a person would feel bad; where you are concerned it, I feel is a great disappointment of where the relationship had gone, where she is concerned the greatest feeling would be frustration (mostly with her self). You and she will need to communicate, and if you proceed in a casual and not overly emotional way you and she will be able to tell a lot about how the other is doing, and this is a curiosity you both share. I would not put to much meaning into what she has told you about your relationship, this blame is mainly because she has no desire to talk about what happened, she has no words at this time. I advise you to relax and realize her life right now is extremely complicated, (mostly by her own doing); current circumstances give you an opportunity to gain perspective about what you really want in your life.
- James

Dear James,
My husband and I have separated; actually, he left and is now living with another woman. We have been together for about 14 years and I sometimes feel he doesn't love me enough to make things work. Several times, we have split and he has been with other woman, but we have always gotten back together. This time I don't know what to think. Will we get back together this time? - T.H.

The reason you feel confused is that is the way he prefers you to be; in other words, that is being caused on purpose by him. This man knows that you are waiting to make a major decision about what is going on, he has always known this. If he seems caring and loving, then for no reason is distant and uncaring. The first time there was infidelity the relationship was over. This is really not about love, it’s about control. I really do not feel that he has a desire to change anything about the situation. If there are any changes to be made it has to start with you. After you, know your self better then any one.
- James
Dear James,My husband and I separated after a 20 year relationship due to unforeseen circumstances on my part. Can you help me figure out what our challenge to reconciliation are and if one is even possible? If so, can you tell how much longer I have to wait, this whole heartbreaking process has gone on for nearly two years and I have grown weary. - M.S.



You and husband have both invested a lot in your time together, dreams (some which have come true), experiences with friends and realities (good and not so good) and these images are going through both of your minds. I feel the biggest obstacle to you and he reestablishing your spiritual bonding, is outside influences; to be more specific relatives or friends, this man would feel emotionally exhausted and to a great extent embarrassed by ether your or his own actions. I feel you and he both will always be connected, and an important part of each other’s lives however the healing process is still not over, the influence of a family member will accelerate the process. Right now there is only so much you can do, the rest is up to him (he is aware of this). The attempt will come, but here again; it must by his doing.
- James

Love Questions: Posted October 30th, 2011

Dear James,
I recently got back together with my boyfriend and he said he was going to work on our relationship. He still seems defensive and distant. He has been doing things here and there that are very thoughtful but he does not seem to be working on some of the important issues like being more intimate, or doing things with me when he has his son. Does he seriously want to work on our relationship and us? - S.

First of all, your desire and his desire regarding your relationship is concerned, is the same. I can see, and I also feel very strongly that you and he love each other deeply and realistically. Another part of this is that you and he both miss each other’s company in sharing unique (or spiritual) experiences to gather. Its time to go back to the simple and easy way that you and he had fun with each other; in other words the experiences that helped create your common view of your future together, your personal guide to what created your spiritual bonding ( which I feel is still in tact). A good concert, sharing of a garden, or a great dance, active situations will reestablish your comfort level. If your or his schedule does not allow the time, I would advise you and he both to schedule your time together, right now it is something both want and need, all else will follow naturally and comfortably, the romantic, intimate, and enjoyable times will return. We also need to remember when we evolve in a relationship, a part of that is the relationship with any children involved (this is a concern with any parent), even if the topic is not addressed. I do see your and his efforts to add to your relationship working.
- James

Dear James,
I have been seeing B for almost three years! As much as I love him, so much so I have not been able to move on. I do not want to spend the rest of my life single. Should I hang in there and how long will it be before I know if this is forever or I need to leave. - V.

He is aware of your feelings, and tends to feel the same, however his view and pace is a little different. I feel that he sees the relationship as growing and it is, for anything to grow it must be nurtured, if nurtured correctly it will grow very strong. He senses your curiosity about the future together and feels complimented. You will receive a more secure and reassuring view of how he sees things, (the relationship) evolving, I see this discussion occurring right around All Hollows Eve. This dissuasion is going to leave you, and also he feeling shocked and woeful, with a new sense of looking forward to times that are to come. Therefore, you might want to give the perspective relationship a little more time.
- James

Dear James,
I thought my ex was the one. We broke up almost a year ago now. We don't even talk anymore. What do you see happening, anything? - D.

This type of situation is exactly why we need to know if we are compatible in more then a romantic way (every one loves romance). I feel that you and he both enjoyed being together, but found that you and he both see things differently. The not talking is about disappointment, not disappointment in you, or in him, but things not working out. You and he will continue to run into each other for the foreseeable future, but a positive romantic relationship is not in the cards
- James

Love Questions: Posted October 24th, 2011

Dear James,
I’ve been in a two year relationship with my son’s father. We broke up a few months ago and now I'm in another relationship. I'm happy so far, I love him and he say he really loves me but sometimes I think he's afraid to show it in front of certain people. For an example, he would post statuses about me on Facebook then delete them. Can you tell me the result of my love life? - A.M.

It’s a normal to be a little cautious and observant in his situation, he is aware that certain people had a good opinion of your ex, and others not. He is also well aware that people are making there judgments about you relationship, based on how you look and how you act, not necessarily by what you say at this time. This man will have a tendency to interact more as he becomes more informed about the dynamics. However, his biggest concern is that others see you as happy, and making the right decisions in your life. We need to remember that a few months seem like a long time, but it is not; people do have a tendency to change drastically at certain times in their lives. As far as the unpredictable behavior, this will fade with time. He is super conscious of how your friends and family see him right now; you know this behavior is not a bad thing, it shows he has a lot of concern for you and does see a future, this is a little soon, but a very good indication of what is to come in the evolution of your relationship.
- James

Dear James,
My boyfriend of 5 years, Kevin, moved out a month ago saying that he loves me but that we are not compatible. I'm very much in love with him and feel that he is always supposed to be in my life so I'm having a hard time letting go and trying to move on. Do you see any possibility for us to get back together in a long-term romantic relationship? - A. J.

First of all letting go completely of people we have strong feelings for, is impossible. I feel strongly that you and he went from romance into reality much to fast, not knowing each other as well, or as completely as you and he felt. He does care about and I feel he would not purposely hurt you; but he would be unprepared for a realistic relationship right now. This would not be specifically about you, but more his feeling of not accomplishing exactly what he wants out of life (career, finances, etc...). I do not see things as being over; He only needs a time out for a while. He will make an attempt to get close to you again, however he knows also, if he waits to long you may move on; and he is right about that. Love and reality both, catch every one unprepared.
- JamesDear James,Almost a year ago, I caught my husband having an affair. I was totally devastated as I thought we were happily married. His lack of emotion, words or any forthcoming verbal" I'm sorry we can work this out" was like acid to my heart. I am divorcing him much to his surprise, but I cannot understand why he blames ME! I look forward to this being legally over as I want him in my past where he belongs. Having two beautiful children means, I will have to face him for the rest of my life, but I’m ready for some company in my life. Do you any decent people in my future. I was married for 16 years, and I want to trust again. - K. L.




He is not blaming you, just making it appear that way. While you and he play the blame game, you and he are not facing the issue directly, it is put off. You caught this man totally unprepared and he really does not know what to say (emotional shock). He would be more concerned about what you are going to do, after sixteen years, silence and unpredictability speak volumes, and some times loudly. It might not seem like it right now but I do feel he loves his family very much, actually more then any thing. You and he know each other very well, better then any one and he is aware that you are very angry and hurt for what you feel he has done to the family. Positive communication is called for, not angry or threatening communication; I would defiantly advise you and he both to temporarily take a break. There will be a lot of activity between you and he in the coming months, but right now you both need perspective. He will want to give the marriage another chance, you and he have to much to lose. There are very many decent and good people in the world, and you will meet your share, however this story has not ended yet, it’s just started.
- James

Love Questions: Posted October 16th, 2011

Dear James,
My boyfriend and I broke up, but I am still secretly in love with him. We have a 10 month old together and we have been so close for years do you see us getting back together? - S.

The love and emotion that you feel is not a secret, people that know you well, can see a change in you. In his case, I feel very strongly that he also has a love for you and the child however, I also see that the unexpected nature of an automatic family, overwhelmed him to a great extent, and it would also be the primary pressure, that he would feel. (The emotion he feels for you, is the reason for the intensity). He is attempting to gain some perspective. Because of the confusion he feels, he will also do his best to confuse you; this is called holding on to someone. He sees your relationship as being asleep, not over. Yes; you and he will give your relationship all the chances it requires to succeed, and it will.
- James

Dear James,
I have been divorced for over 4 years now, feel that I have been able to leave the old baggage behind and that I am now ready for a new romantic relationship. Do you see a new romance coming my way soon? If so, just what are the circumstances under which we will meet, and when will this happen? M.B.

I do see an excellent chance of a meaningful relationship developing over the holidays; however, the circumstances will be the pursuit of a new endeavor for you, or additional interest and study of an interest that you let go earlier in your life. You have evolved in your life and have defined images of what and how you want your lives path to flow. You will know this person by his desire to be of service to you, this is his way of creating a reason to interact with you. You will find that he is a man of his word; by the way, there will also be a common religious or spiritual interest. Please do not look for him; you are destined to find each other.
- JamesDear James,I was in a relationship for over 10 years, which has come to an end. In May, her daughter introduced her to a man and it was as if she lost her mind, started lying to me sneaking around to be with him, then at the end of July she moved out after disappearing one weekend. Since that time, she has been with him almost daily. I have been told by different psychics that she is my soul mate and that she misses me but she’s very confused right now, and there is a lot of negative energy that is coming from this man. She is not one to be controlled but he is controlling her, one told me that she felt he was doing something unnatural, I do not know anymore. I have been told she will be back and that she cares deeply for me and wants to be back in a relationship with me, but the words from her mouth say otherwise. I am devastated by this and for some reason unable to move forward. Could it be something called a psychic attack? She was never one to jump into bed with anyone, but with this person, she seemed to do just that, after only knowing him for 2 months and spending an hour a week with him during lunch and a lot of emails and texting during the week. I am confused and heartbroken. She could never really open up to me about her feelings and still has not, but seems to with everyone else. She did say that she thought we were not mentally compatible, a term and verbiage she had never used before in all the time that I have been with her (12 years). Can you tell me anything about the two of us? J.M




You have a desire to prevent her for making the wrong decision and this would be entirely appropriate if she were a child, but she is not. The first thing is to respect each other, and each other’s decision. We as human beings need to allow people to follow their will. The issue of the other person is very difficult to deal with; however I see the main issue as you and she losing the common image of the future you had in the beginning. The aspect of being spiritual soul mates does not mean you will be together no matter what, It means an obligation, to care and love the person more then your self and, another person sharing one life with you. Two living as one.. I see this issue as being very complex, and having a lot of causes through out time. I don’t see any progress occurring until you and she has the desire and willingness to communicate effectively, and right now, I don’t see the desire. My advice to you, is to back off her and to stop trying to force your point, this will not work. I feel you and she will ultimately attempt to work things out, it will be very difficult but possible. The choice must be mutual, and the effort must also be mutual, desired by both of you.
- James

 


Love Questions: Posted October 9th, 2011

Dear James,
I'm 26 years old, and I've never had a real boyfriend that loves me and cares about me. I'm wondering, Will I ever get married, if yes, when? - H .

I do feel that marriage is your destiny, and as we all know, marriage is a very important and spiritual (Mentally, physically, and spiritually encompassing) part of someone life. By this time next year, you will be involved in a very deep friendship and you will find that you and this man have a very similar way of seeing almost everything that you talk about, although you were brought up in very different parts of the country. You and he will meet through a mutual acquaintance. I also would definitely advise you to attend family occasions and holiday celebrations; people would just love to see you. By the way, this deep friendship will grow and the possibility of a serious relationship is within your grasp, and also his.
- James

Dear James,
I have really deep feelings for a friend; we’ve known each other for 19 years. We each have a family now but are still in contact through emails. Could you tell me what you see coming out of this? Will we see each other soon and be together? I miss him greatly. Does he feel the same way too? - I.
 

He has felt the same way for quite a long time, however I feel that he may think that if he comes on to strong, that he may destroy the friendship. If you and he are both available to each other, you will gravitate towards each other, being that you both have your families, I really don’t see things going much further than friendship; It can be destructive or beneficial, the choice is yours. It is a lot more common for women to have close friends and confidants then it is for men, and he feels a close and trusting friendship. He knows as well as you do that you would never do anything to hurt each other, or the people you love. As far as seeing each other, that will be the topic of your next conversation.
- James 

Dear James,
My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. I have done some things to him that he may not forgive. Today he has found out the someone was messing with his phone account and it was me, but I did not tell him as I did not want to lose him. He says he wants to be friends and work things out but I may have ruined that. There is also another woman involved who lives in NY that he talks to all the time. I want to know if we will get back together, will they stop talking; will he forgive me for all I have done to him and is he still in love with me? K.S. 

I do not feel that he blames you completely; he knows he plays a great role in what’s going on. He is trying to be honest with you about being friends. However he knows the feelings between you two are a lot stronger than just friendship. A time-out is called for, I feel you and he both need a lot more perspective, and to understand each other a lot more before a romantic relationship can even be considered. Trust is not automatic, it is some thing that is earned through time and going through the process of really caring about some one. Every body makes mistakes, and he knows that. A deeper friendship must be developed, before anything else; and you will have one more chance to make this work out, for both of you. The other woman in NY, at this point they are just friends.
- James

Love Questions: Posted October 2nd, 2011

Dear James,
Is R. (the father of my children) the man I am supposed to be with? Will it ever be ok between us? Is he still cheating? Will I ever be happy and have a family and when? - H.
 
I feel very strongly, that this man loves you and your children, and I do not feel that you are doing anything to create this problem. At one time you and he both, were very sure that you were meant to be together, just by bonding and getting to know each other , you and he developed a common image or view of the future, and a realistic love;. When people love each other this is what they want. You did not mention if you and he are married or engaged, people who live together go through the same pressures, and stresses that married people go through. If you and he can get back, to the point where the common image of the future is present, and you are sure and confidant in the relationship (I feel this would not only easy for you and he, but also enjoyable) then yes, it can work. The main thing however is the cheating; once this occurs the spiritual bonding is over, and in your case it must reignited, by time or a spiritual commitment (engagement or marriage) a redoing of heart felt vows is what is called for. Before any part of the Spiritual bonding can be implemented again, he must seek out help with this issue, if he does, he will succeed. I definitely feel that the love is strong enough to get you and him through this time.
- James

Dear James,
I have been seeing a man for about a year now off and on and we have been close and distant and have had some static but I’m wondering in what direction is our relationship going to go in the near and distant future? - S.C.

The attraction and emotion this man feels for you is immense. He right now, is taking his cues from you; I feel he is curious about your view of where the relationship is headed. This man does not want to move to fast, but enough to show his affection. I can see you and him developing a more structured, and secure relationship, more and more through the holiday season, (Starting with Oct/31/11). As we approach the end of the year, your relationship will bloom and produce a rich harvest, if cared for and nurtured in the right way. Enjoy the time together and the special occasions (pictures, memories, laughter) and the distance will vanish. Be sure to include pets, its very important.
- James

Dear James,
I have had very strong feelings for an old love (we met when we were 18, "dated" for about a year and a half, it became quite intense.) I do think we actually would have gotten married if things hadn't taken a sudden turn, and I was going through a very difficult family time, which I did not tell him about because I didn't want to hold him back. Both of us moved, and never quite ended it I think because we did not want it to be a bad breakup. We saw each other 6 years ago briefly (for about 2 hours) and he asked me to consider moving there (for most of the last 20 years we have been at opposite coasts). I was subsequently in a car accident, and the last few years have been a struggle. I recently moved (to his coast, closer but not nearby) and have wanted to contact him, but just...don't know where to start. I always felt like we were supposed to be together. I have no idea that his situation is now. I have also recently developed feelings for a married man I work with on a daily basis. I have pretty much put them under wraps for his sake. Please let me know if I am ever going to feel good about my "love life" again. It has been far too long, putting everything aside due to circumstances (which have not really changed, financially). - A.G.
 
The main thing is to remain calm and comfortable in your actions, I would advise you to forget about the married man; the complications that it would bring, is really not, what you are looking for. As far as the person from the past, I feel you and he have a wonderful chance of establishing a close and growing friendship or relationship. You and he, like all people, have changed through the years. However, the memories you have of each other are very happy and magical and this is a very good place to start. I advise you to be comfortable and secure about contacting him; you do have a lot to catch up on, and I feel he would love to hear from you. Financially a lot of people are experiencing concern, however if you seek out opportunities at this time; all you need to do is remain consistent in you current activities, and these opportunities will emerge.
- James

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