By : Nikki Savage
Here we are at the third agreement. We are now impeccable with our words and we take nothing personally. Or at least we have more mindful tongues and a few less triggers hopefully. And now we come to the third of the four agreements from don Miguel Ruiz.
Don’t Make Assumptions.
When we make assumptions about others, we are setting up expectations around things that are not known for fact. We are setting up situations that are more likely to end with hurt feelings and disappointment. Sometimes we assume because of our own personal experiences. We believe our ways of doing something or our perception to be the common experience shared by all. We meant no harm. We just thought…. Yeah. See?
Sometimes we assume because it is easier. Maybe we don’t want to take the time to find out or maybe we don’t want to ask uncomfortable questions. And again, we can end up creating confusion or embarrassment when the true situation ends up being much different. Even if we didn’t mean to create a misunderstanding, we have to own up when we do.
This agreement is powerful in practice. It teaches us how to not become attached to our expectations. If we do not assume that we will get some desired result, we can not bind ourselves to the outcome. When we set up expectations and assume they will be met, we begin to formulate pictures of what that looks like on us and make plans around those pictures. We begin to create futures that aren’t held to any real substance. They might become true but they also might not. And conversely, if we assume our expectations will not be met, we begin to eliminate possible scenarios from our future plans, limiting our experience and possibly missing out.
When we are not tied to our expectations, we can experience the now more fully. We get to listen and allow it to unfold. We know the end results we imagine are based more solidly in truth because we did not assume. And we can move forward towards our desired outcomes with sure footing Our mind’s vision, unclouded by false perception, will see our path ahead for what it is and hopefully will be soft enough to see places as yet unimagined.
It is hard not to assume. It is hard not to take things for granted. It is hard to feel some things are common sense and so everyone understands. We each have our own way and the view along our ways just aren’t the same. We have a collective experience but we do not share the way of our experience in common. But it is up to us to decide how those views shape the view ahead.
How do you feel assumptions color your perception of your experience?
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